Transformation from a submissive into a sadistic a..hole?

[SexualChoc]

Feels physically sick when I read this.......but not only what the author said, but also about the rude comments about "fat" people.

*shakes my head and swallows over and over again to get the fowl taste of this thread out of my mouth*

I agree Shell
Not everyone is superficial.
However to find a caring person
It helps to be able to care for others
I am talking about normal relationships, LOVE
Give and take.

Especially in a Dom/Submissive relationship
it is important to remember
"Just When you get to know someone you care about they change"
Yes there is Love in Dom/submissive relationships
I have it at least (hugs to my Miss)

However it sounds like you have anger
the "dark' side if you will.
It also sounds like you were abusive.

So I recommend not just working on your outside appearance but you’re inside spirit
I worry that any relationship you enter will be poisoned by your anger
Anger from all the losses you have suffered, the loneliness you feel,
Fighting to act brave when you are really scared no one cares-
So you Push people away- which causes them to alienate you and feed your fear

I know because I do ‘self- sabotage’ sometimes, as well.

You could use some counseling to help you feel good about yourself.
Once you feel good about yourself, then you can be in a good relationship.
Even if that relationship is a Dom/Sub one.

[Nezhul]

if he got so much anger from the old times when a women dumped him for a good reason, imagine how mad he will be if something serious happens.
Such unstable people should be get rid of by society, but nooooo.... our society is human-loving now.

[dix]

if he got so much anger from the old times when a women dumped him for a good reason, imagine how mad he will be if something serious happens.
Such unstable people should be get rid of by society, but nooooo.... our society is human-loving now.

A good reason?

Why because they were shallow, gold digging little whores? Really good reason that! People who are so vein that they only care about looks are shallow human beings and disgusting.

And why should society get rid of these people. Our society is what created them in the first place. So if you're thinking like that, then you deserve pushing head first off the top of your goddam moral high ground.

D.

[Nezhul]

Actually, my moral level is what most people would consider as "can't imagine lower". For me, the best order is "kill or be killed" and all that stuff. And democracy, law that protects the weak - can go to hell. We totally forgot about what we should be after as a rece, and became a slime that slowly polutes the entire planet and devours itself further and further by allowing weaklings to survive and breed. But that's not the point.

The reason was very good. He was fat and probably not very accurate, not very active. As I told you before, it's not the look itself that turns people off such guys. It's the qualities that come with this look, and that are the reasons of it. I told it already, if you are not reading nothing except you like - that's your problem.

And come on, everyone of us counts the look in. Show me tho one who doesn't, and I'm the first one to throw a rock at him. And even the threadstarter. Did he try to date with the girls as fat as he was? I doubt it. Those girls know what their problem is and won't be too picky about he's looks. But on the other hand it's only natural that a good looking person demands more from the partner.

As for me, no matter how good the person is - I will not marry or have sex with the one whose appearence disgust me. On the other hand, I will not date or have sex with a sexiest girl with bad personality - not interested.
All matters. And the looks too. It's instinct, as have been said above.

But when women write something like "looks doesn't matter" or "personality is above looks" - they mean it. But it doesn't mean that looks will not matter AT ALL. At the very least, as I said before, the looks will tell a lot about a person's qualities and personality. So even when judged by the look, the thing that is REALLY judges is not beauty, but personality.

And to the boot. I know pretty good ammount of fat or ugly (as I think) guys, that have a great looking girlfriend. Why, you ask? First of all, they are very smart, and from the first date (or even before the date) girls are interested in them. Believe me, if you can be interesting in dialogue, you won't be dumped because of your looks. My experience tells me, that the beauty of a man is not really important. What important is the whole image, how he's dresed, how he talks, how he moves, how active he is, how funny.
And now I look at the threadstarter, and understand, that he simply doesn't have this qualities. And never had them. People do not change that much over a few years. He isn't smart - that's obvious. Smart people have a lot more self control, and even if they take revenge - it won't be by pain. Such a dumb way to get revenge. He surely is not kind. Even I, who'll vote for killing 9/10th of humanity - will not be as cruel to a random person. He wasn't kind - never. It's just that now he has a ground and self confidence to express that anger. The guy is surely selfish. And always was, even the intention of testing a girl with he's fat is selfish. Now do you think he could hide all that wickedness on a date? Surely doubt it.

Now I admit that there are bitches among girls. But not all of them.

[dix]

A fair response.

But as to hiding all that "wickedness" - You'd be surprised at just how much evil people can hide inside themselves.

D.

[Nezhul]

I'm not surprized at all - I know that lots of people are wicked, and at the same time are not able to see that wickedness in others. But still. It's just that now he has good appearence to distract women from he's rotten self, and before he had no such tool, and was exposed.

[shell]

Hello Big *warm smile*

I spoke to my Master and permission was given to speak my mind about Your comments. I am not going to comment on things said from others.

First, I am very sorry that females hurt You to Your core with their hurtful behavior, when You needed compassion and understanding.
I have often said that the world is so caught up in looks that I believe it will not be the atmosphere that fails the human race, but the human race itself that destroys itself because it can't accept the inner beauty of itself.

I do not agree that one must have a lot of money or be good looking to find a healthy happy relationship. I believe that it wasn't You that was the problem, but the people that were looking in Your direction that came up short.
I have been on the "fat" side of the window, looking in and I know what it feels like to wave Your arms like crazy but everyone is looking at the skinny woman in the room, even when she has two front teeth missing and got her clothing out of a trash bin somewhere.
Society has created a terrible monster and it's destroying us.
HOWEVER, not every female or male follows the way of society. There are many out there that look deeper then the skin...the trick is to find them.
You gave up before she found You. *gentle smile*

It is very easy to get angry at the whole, even though the whole was not responsible for the pain that was caused.
I believe this is no longer an issue of weight, but an issue of anger that is taking over You. Sure, it started because of weight issues, but has now developed into something very ugly.......much uglier then a bowl of lard sitting on a counter top.

Anger, and unforgiveness are destructive forces.

It is possible that in Your anger, that You have hurt someone, the someone that was meant to be Yours for all time.
It's possible that with the women You have bedded and left, that You caused so much pain inside of them, that one of them took their life because they hurt so badly.
It's possible that the one you beat with the crop will be emotionally damaged for the rest of her life.

You took something sacred, trust placed in You, and turned it vile.

I have felt that, many years ago. I placed my trust in someone and he hurt me physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. It took me over 25 years to be free from the nightmares and even longer to learn how to trust completely again.

I don't believe that anyone is beyond help. I don't believe that You are. You were hurt and lashed out. You admitted that You see Yourself as an "asshole". It sounds like You do not like Yourself very much for doing the things that You have done, no matter how many women You can bed right now.

You said, "...you can't tell me you never felt good after getting revenge on someone. You can't honestly tell me you never got even with someone in your life, and it didn't feel exhilarating!"
Yes, Sir, I can tell You that the one time I did seek revenge did not feel good at all. It made me physically ill. And no, it didn't feel exhilarating.
Revenge is not healthy, not healthy at all.

You also said, "And why should i change my attitude? I get layed constantly, I fuck them how I want, toss them around how I like it, use them for my pleasure."
Why? There are so many reasons You should change. Setting all the reasons about the women's feelings aside and only focusing on You.....number one......it could end up saving Your life.
What if one of these women You hurt on purpose is mentally ill and comes after You and kills You?
What if one of the women has a disease, or You get one pregnant....no condom is 100% safe?
What if the one person You could find happiness with forever is one that You toss aside and You are left to die alone at the end?
What if this anger eats up Your insides and produces many health issues for You as You age?
What if one of these women presses charges and You spend the rest of Your life in jail?

A person is never to old to stop, take a deep breath and make changes that will make their life better. I urge You to stop and take charge of Your life. For right now, You may think You are in charge, but You are not. The anger is in charge.

Let the anger go.......regroup....forgive them, forgive Yourself and move towards a better future for Yourself, please......before it's too late.

[dr.d]

Hello Big *warm smile*

I spoke to my Master and permission was given to speak my mind about Your comments. I am not going to comment on things said from others.


I have been on the "fat" side of the window, looking in and I know what it feels like to wave Your arms like crazy but everyone is looking at the skinny woman in the room, even when she has two front teeth missing and got her clothing out of a trash bin somewhere.
Society has created a terrible monster and it's destroying us.


Anger, and unforgiveness are destructive forces.

It is possible that in Your anger, that You have hurt someone, the someone that was meant to be Yours for all time.
It's possible that with the women You have bedded and left, that You caused so much pain inside of them, that one of them took their life because they hurt so badly.
It's possible that the one you beat with the crop will be emotionally damaged for the rest of her life.

You took something sacred, trust placed in You, and turned it vile.

I have felt that, many years ago. I placed my trust in someone and he hurt me physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. It took me over 25 years to be free from the nightmares and even longer to learn how to trust completely again.

I don't believe that anyone is beyond help. I don't believe that You are. You were hurt and lashed out. You admitted that You see Yourself as an "asshole". It sounds like You do not like Yourself very much for doing the things that You have done, no matter how many women You can bed right now.

You said, "...you can't tell me you never felt good after getting revenge on someone. You can't honestly tell me you never got even with someone in your life, and it didn't feel exhilarating!"
Yes, Sir, I can tell You that the one time I did seek revenge did not feel good at all. It made me physically ill. And no, it didn't feel exhilarating.
Revenge is not healthy, not healthy at all.


Let the anger go.......regroup....forgive them, forgive Yourself and move towards a better future for Yourself, please......before it's too late.

Shell did not need my permission to post this , she needed my encouragement , some people were rude to her and she did not want to be attacked for trying to help some one.Big I can say that I got even and it felt good , but I was an eight year old who was beating up a ten year old bully . revenge will destroy you , in the long run its not worth it.

[Nezhul]

I think you are too kind. There are lots of fat people in this world, and lots of them loose weight, but 99.9% feel happy about this achievement, and begin looking for happy relationship. No anger, no hate - not even remotely close to this feelings.

But the threadstarter is different. He's a very bad person from the start. He has that hatred in him for no reason. Being dumped or called ugly - is NOT a reason, on the contrary - it HAS a reason.

Now about all that talking of a mankind looking only on the skin, not under. I'd say it's a good thing, last hope. We'v srewed our genetic material soooo bad in the last century, but now at least this tool of dividing a helthy person from the ones not is there. And it's good.
We save a lot of people with genetic desieses, and that are born with some pathology. Heck, seen on the news last week how our (russian) doctors saved another girl who were born with hear hart sticking out of her chest. And I know HUNDREDS of babys are saved that way every day, and if you count those, who were saved on the stage of pregnacy - that's thousends. And why are they like this? Their genes are messed up. And such people are saved, and what's horrible - they BREED.
So we are screwed pretty bad right now. But at least we still look on the beauty of a person we want to have children with. Not that it will save us, but at least maybe give us some time. That's the instinct that should be saved and treasured.
I agree completely. Humankind will be the reason of it's self falling. In a few generations that way - and every chiled born will be so sick that'll use medications daily, and probably will have 3-4 surgeries in the first years of hes life. And you are talking about moral, about how we should look deeper inside the person. Totally disagree.
And bescides, back tot he topic, the guy who we are talking about have and always has the same uglyness under he's fat too. So no use of looking deeper.

p.s. I know, my post will bbe met very "good" by most of you, because most thing that life is a treasure, and we should save all that we can, bla, bla, bla. But I don't think it's any use of discussing here.

[dr.d]

nezhul I agree that the man who started this is full of hate , I think he should get help because all that hate is going to get him in trouble and as for the other things that have been said rather then argue about them lets just say that we have a difference of opinions and leave it at that

[Nezhul]

It bugs me somehow that "getting help" motive in lot's of posts. I know that in US and probably europe people are used to go to the therapist with any little problem or depression they might have. But in my opinion, if a man can't get over such a miserable problem as this by himself, he should just die - he will not do any contribution to the society. Off course help is needed sometimes. But it's not he's case, OR in a case if he really need's help - he should be locked in a looney bin. I meen anger is eather easy to get rid of, or is dangerous for society and should be treated under lockup.

[les]

It bugs me somehow that "getting help" motive in lot's of posts. I know that in US and probably europe people are used to go to the therapist with any little problem or depression they might have. But in my opinion, if a man can't get over such a miserable problem as this by himself, he should just die - he will not do any contribution to the society. Off course help is needed sometimes. But it's not he's case, OR in a case if he really need's help - he should be locked in a looney bin. I meen anger is eather easy to get rid of, or is dangerous for society and should be treated under lockup.

Nezhul;

A curious post I am at a loss as to what you mean.
I am also at a loss as to where you apparent knowledge is derived from.

You have said anger is easy to control.

Yet why do so many of your posts contain many vociferous and vitriolic elements.


les

[Nezhul]

It's not anger - I'm just negative to some things. But I don't have a lot of amotions. Well, it's true, that a threadstarter pissed me off, but IMO for a reason.
I just don't like the way in wich western society develops, that's it. People tend do forget basic things more and more. They are not used to some emotions like fear of anger from the childhood. The hudge factor to it is "pink glasses" that western society tend to put on their children - introducing them to the world with as few voilence as possible, and as many sugar cartoons as they can. What it leads to is easy to see. When children grow up, and voilent, scare world is forced on them, they become emotionally unstable, lots of them can't solve their problem without psychologist. What's really bad, that grown-ups are so scared of this world, that they treat their children the same - limiting some TV programs to him (not talking about porn), buying only a set ammount of games with no blood or gore, or even with no killing whatsoever it might be, etc.
You know, in our country (at least untill recently because western style became more fascionable) children watched horror films like Hellraisers and Aliens - in the age of like 5 or 6 years. They played and still play the games they want - ESRB or PEGI rating doesn't mean a shit here. And what it leads to? Strangely, our people are more calm and reasonable, and, in contrary with western countryes, there are almost NONE light mental disturbtions as phobia or deep depression. Now I'm not talking Russia is all good - it isn't. But in that particular way we have a healthyer attitude.
That's why it bugs me greatly when after a description of every tiny mental problem people say "you should get help!". Because if you continue going that way, soon you won't be able to visit a bathroom without a special man that will halp you live through a scary noisy sound it produces. Heck, people, do something yourselves already!

[shell]

Nezhul, I didn’t think that I would respond anymore, unless it was to the author of this thread. But recently I have been encouraged to speak my mind and I am going to do so. I will however do so with as much respect as I can show.

I have never hid the fact that I live in Florida. I am proud to be an American and assume that I am one of the “Westerner’s” that You referred to. With the world being circular though, isn’t everyone west, at some point, if You were to go in a circular direction? But I am not ignorant; I realize that we are refereed to as such.

Although I would like to become very vocal about all of the mixed up ideas You have about the way we live our lives “here” I will refrain, because this does not need to be an “East vs. West” issue. Just let me say…You do not have the correct facts about the “Western Society” at all.

***

In a thread at http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=5910
You referred to Yourself as someone "having some medical degree".
I asked You there what that meant and You chose not to respond.

Anyone in a medical field is taught that the mind and body work together to make up the totality of the person.
If the chemicals, in the mind are out of balance, producing more of one thing then another or not producing enough of one thing, it can lead to issues in the mind/brain that can and usually causes issues to develop in the body.
And even if the chemicals are in balance, trauma can lead one to become confused and acting in ways that they would not normally act.

So, as a person that "has some medical degree", You should be totally aware that when someone is having issues dealing with things that have happened in their life, such as the author of this thread is having, that spending time in the presence of someone that has a “medical degree” in things to do with the mind can benefit not only the person that is confused, but also in the long run those that the person might be, or is hurting presently or will hurt in the future.

Being introduced to fear and anger in one’s childhood does not make that person ready for whatever life throws at them.
Those emotions will work differently in each person, some needing to talk to someone to understand their emotions and some just move on, without speaking to someone. Either way, one doesn’t need fear and anger to be able to deal with life.
Spending time with someone that can help a person sort out their issues is not a statement of character and those that have sought help, or will seek help should not be made to feel as though they are wrong for doing so.
THEY have enough courage to face their demons and issues. Some people don’t and it really shows in the way they conduct themselves.

For a person, that believes themselves to have a “a healthier attitude”, to say the following,

“Sure hope people like you will die lonely, because you don't deserve a woman near you. Well, let me rephrase it. A rare woman deserves a horrible man like you.”

“And a man should never hurt a woman like that, and should never get revenge on a woman like that, with force. You can hurt another man - hell, you can punch somebody's face for a reason and no one will tell you a thing.”

“First of all, when you see a fat man (women) - you know a couple of things about him. First of all, this man doesn't bother that much about he's life. He's most probably lazy, not too strong, and you can't really depend on that person. While a man with good body in good clothes seems more strong, active and trustworthy.”

“Such unstable people should be get rid of by society.”

“For me, the best order is "kill or be killed" and all that stuff. And democracy, law that protects the weak - can go to hell.”

“Even I, who'll vote for killing 9/10th of humanity - will not be as cruel to a random person.”

“But in my opinion, if a man can't get over such a miserable problem as this by himself, he should just die - he will not do any contribution to the society.”

For a person to say all of that and have a “medical degree”, makes me concerned for not only that person, but for those that are around that person every day, and those that are depending on medical help from that person. These opinions and thoughts are not, “calm and reasonable.”

You said, “Illness is something that happens to a person against his will, and that person can't be blamed.”

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary gives the definition of illness as: an unhealthy condition of body or mind.

I do not believe that anything I have said here will make any difference to You. I believe that You, Sir have an unhealthy condition of the mind and would benefit from seeking out help from a person with a medical degree in areas of the mind.

I have written this for those reading it, and for the author, so that should the things that You have said make them feel that they are worthless and not worth saving, that they know that there are people out there that believe them to be valuable and are hoping that the things shared make a positive impact on their lives and one day they find true happiness and discover all that life has to offer.

I will not regret these things said. I am proud of myself for having the courage to speak up. It is not my intention to get into a debate back and forth with You, Nezhul. You have spoken Your mind and I have spoken mine.

[les]

I just don't like the way in wich western society develops, that's it. !

you still have not answered me

I am still at a loss as to where you apparent knowledge is derived from.
your reply has further unsubstantiated facts.



les