It also got me thinking about a tendency I've noticed lately.
I could of course have posted it as a reply, but then it would no longer be "A Dommes perspective", now would it?
Besides, I assume MistressD will continue her thread with new subjects, and I have no wish to muddy the waters.
Please understand that the following is in no way an attack on, or critique of, anyone in particular.
It is simply a personal observation, and should be viewed as such.
One thing that seems to have become prevalent, especially in virtual D/s, is a propensity to look at subs as somehow lesser beings. I'm not really sure why, perhaps it's because the internet lends itself so easily to 'mass-dominations', and thus cuts out the personal level. Or maybe it's because the gibbering masses have found a way to offer themselves.
The usual defense being that subs are a dime-a-dozen, and there's always another one around the corner.
Which I suppose is true, to a point. If all one wants is the ego-trip of getting someone to do something, there are thousands of volunteers out there, all with their own reasons for doing what they do.
But I'd postulate that most of these will do so out of a desire to prostrate themselves, not a desire to please any particular mistress.
If you want anonymous masses to do your bidding, that's fine. Go forth and wreak havoc.
But if you want a sub to follow your whims out of a serious desire to please YOU, then you have to realize that it is a two-way street.
Unless you're willing to spend the time figuring out what makes that particular sub tick, you'll never know where to push, or how far you can push.
Another statement I've come across is "Dommes aren't supposed to take an interest in subs. We're above them, and supposed to be detached and aloof."
Which is a crock of crap, if you ask me.
What they call detached and aloof, I call callous and arrogant.
If the domme shows no interest in me, what chances are there that I'll try to think of new ways to please her, without her asking for it?
If there's no interest, there's no chance of the domme being disappointed in my behavior, and thus it follows that there is little incentive to e.g. keep my hands off the interesting bits.
A detached domme makes for a detached sub, simple as that.
Then of course there's the ubiquituos line of "subs being genetically inferior" in some way.
Oddly enough, I see as many subs using that line as dommes.
But no matter who uses it, it is just mind-numbingly stupid.
First of all, if subs are genetically inferior, then it follows that not all dommes are gentically equal either.
Follow that argument to it's logical conclusion, and you find that it means there must be some genetic recipe for an Über-domme.
Maybe that is a 6'4" redhead, with one blue eye, one brown, six toes on the left foot, and a third nipple.
Maybe it's something else......But I kinda suspect that the argument is just plain wrong.
Then there's the problem of a *lot* (if not most) people in the D/s scene being switches.
No doubt most people feels more comfortable in one role or the other, but I've met very few who doesn't get something out of power-exchange even on the 'wrong' end of it.
Besides which, if it was true, where would the submission part come in?
That would be like saying a dog submits to its owner.
It doesn't, the poor sod simply doesn't know any better.
A sub knows better. A sub is your equal, but willingly surrenders.
Isn't that far more interesting?
I guess what I'm trying to say that while you have to have something to show a Domme when approaching (no, not that), the reverse is also true.
You get what you give.
Any D/s relationship requires trust to some degree.
The domme will have to trust that I'm willing to let go, and let myself be pushed.
I have trust the domme not to push too far.
Once that trust has been earned, there are very few things I wouldn't do, albeit probably with some trepidation.
But if I feel like I'm in constant competition for the dommes attention, it won't make me try harder.
It'll simply make me leave.
Thus endeth the musings.
CheerfullyInsane
(Proud sub)
!