servufon wrote:
book_guy wrote:...When I've been around real female orgasms, they're much more gradual in approach AND in departure...
pardon the tangent...my impression is this really depends an awful lot on the woman's sexual "training"; swingers and women more "porn-centered" come (no pun intended) closer to the male experience, largely our human monkey-see-monkey-do thing,
...
but that said, definitely orgasm is not so centric a sexual experience for women, largely speaking (my Goddess Wife notwithstanding!), and to your point it's not nearly so convulsive/momentary as men, i'm not trying to naysay entirely what you said; rather put a finer point on it,i guess
Yes, indeed, I see where you're going. The "finer point" you're making is very much worth making.
servufon wrote:
as to porn star orgasm acting, i've changed radically my views; i used to think as you, but later in life i've realized that many people might be said to be bad sexual actors where they try to be more expressive, but "we" in general are being taught to try to be more expressive in sex, so that's a natural outcome, that awkwardness/"bad acting"; it's just that when we are with people we know the mere fact they're TRYING AND that they are in fact makes us hot, plus the different way they act sexually is anyway arousing as it's a different side, so we don't "notice" "bad acting"; with a porn actor, we don't "know" them and "just trying" is not part of any interpersonal arousal experience
This is a fascinating suggestion. Your point of view is radically different from mine, and also much less sexually desperate, it seems.
So, I'm hoping I got this correct. Basically, it seems to me, that you could be paraphrased as asserting that as far as my opportunity to watch women's orgasms goes, it's actually the case that "they're all acting"? But, some of them are acting "for a camera which book_guy is not operating" (the ones in porn scenes that I didn't film) while others are acting "for book_guy's eyes (alone?)" (the ones I actually have fucked or sucked or whatever'ed). And you'd probably also add, so as not to misrepresent your idea, that the concept of "acting" is more a concept of "doing the thing that she's acting" rather than a concept of "faking it while NOT doing that thing."
Well, yeah. I can't quibble or argue. And nothing can really resolve this discussion. We're at the subtle dividing line in the Zen of Method Acting, between "knowing what you're doing" as opposed to "being in the moment." (Sorry. Did you know about Method Acting? Not that I advocate for or against it, but it's on point to the discussion. If you're not familiar with The Method of Stanislavski and subsequent generations, starting with the Russian State Theater early 20th Century theories, I suggest a quick Google-em-up. It's not complicated, but it takes a little short-hand to know what we're talking about.)
servufon wrote:
now i find "bad acting" orgasms often just as good; very often, my impression is they might either be having an orgasm or want to show an aroused side, and that mere attempt works for me (not that i'm really thinking it through that much at that time; it's more like "she/he trying to act hot, if they are even trying OMG, oh oh that IS hot, why not/could be real, i accept it, now turned on," or some such in monkey/lizard-brain-think)
having watched a number of women in public places having sex over the years plus a particular women's communication evolution is what's informed my change here; i didn't do justice to that journey above, but just to mention the basis/"evidence"
Wow so you have actually gone TWO steps beyond me. First, you came to understand that an over-the-top "unrealistic" looking or "fake" looking female performance of orgasm, in a porn scene, is actually an enjoyably acted "real" orgasm for the Method-Acting-related reasons. Second, you've created your own association with the (presumably) FAILED attempt at "good" acting, in which you have discovered that you can PREFER the kitschier, fakier, sillier, less "real" version of things. And you've then TAUGHT yourself to seek out that novel preference. Wow ... How very post-modern of you. Except for the fact that I personally always equate "over-the-top" with FALSITY and therefore insincerity, I could be right there with you. Like, "Omigood lookit how that chick just totally overdoes her desire for sucking his cock, it is SO DAMN HOT of her to crawl desperate after his stinky wood ... I LOVE it." For that kind of thing, I think I AM close to where you're at. But when it's just, "Oh oh oh diddle my clit just like that yeah baby you are the BEST DAMN CLIT DIDDLER OH FUCK I'M GOING TO CUM CUM OOOOO" and the primary thing that makes it "false" appearing to me, is the over-the-topness or the extreme unlikeliness of it? Well then my association with insincerity ruins the performance for me. You don't seem (to again make sure I don't misrepresent your point) to be advocating for insincerity, by the way; just, more capable than me of suspending your disbelief in circumstances that would probably ruin my suspension of disbelief by means of what I associate with insincerity. It's me failing to be post-modern, again, and nothing wrong with your system or preferences of course.
Maybe that's all I'm missing: post-modernity of mind.
By the way, when this post of mine uses the terms "fake" and "real" I only mean them as can be understood within the context of our ongoing discussion, and I'm not meaning to disparage either side, just using a bit of short-hand between the quote-marks for clarity's and speed's sakes.
OK so this is an awesome hijack of the thread. But it is a hijack. Very sorry.
