Please help ruin (girls) orgasm

[meri]

This may sound like a stupid request, but I could really use some help here. I am new to the site, and still trying to find my way around and learn about T and D for girls. In working through some of the webteases for girls on the site here, I encountered a penalty that I need some help with. Please excuse my ignorance, but how do you deliberately ruin an orgasm? I have had it happen occasionally, of course, either when interupted just at the wrong time, or when dealing with an inept partner. But on purpose? With the help of some of the material here on the site, i am getting better at edging, though I still have a long way to go. But please, how do I deliberately ruin an orgasm if ordered to do so?

I was working through one of the webteases for girls, and at one point, after repeated edging and teasing, i was told to build up to an orgasm and then, at the click of the mouse, was orded to ruin it. I wanted to, really I did, but slipped over the edge and had a regular, satisfying orgasm anyway. I feel terribly guilty about that. I just got off line and didn't go on with thes script I was in. I am trying to work up my nerve to try it again, and i am hoping that the situation won't come up. But still, I know it might.

Please help me! In case i am ordered to ruin my orgasm, either on line or in person, what do I need to do, physicaly and mentally, to carry out the order? Am i mis-understanding some terminology, or what? I have read here and in other forums about how a ruined orgasm causes both emotional and physical distress, sometimes even a day or so after the event. I want to obey. Please help me out here...

Again, I appologise for being so stupid about this, but are there any women here on the group that can give me some advice? Please?

meri

[les]

We all know that mental and physical stimulation causes very nice sensations.

To Tease
      You stimulate but never to the point of real pleasure.

To Edge
      You stimulate to the point of orgasm and then carry on with stimulation but not enough to cause/allow an orgasm.

To Ruin an Orgasm
      You stimulate to the point where the orgasm has started and then stop the stimulation so that the orgasm happens but because of the lack of stimulation it is unfulfilled.

There is one step further
                   "Post Orgasm Torture"!
      Where the orgasm happens normally but the stimulation is continued.
To many (including me) this is the worst of all.

[Snoopy76]

Meri hi!!

Think in terms of definitions etc Les has covered it all above.

All I wanted to add is these things can take time and a lot of practice don't be too hard on yourself and expect it all overnight!

For me a ruin is literally a few seconds from the edge where I feel myself go over and stop all stimulation which leads to a few seconds of a pleasurable sensation followed by a dip in to a place with far more frustration than any edge can bring and one that will never fail to have me in tears and the effects can last for days depending how long I have been on denial for.

Hope this helps, feel free to pm me if you want to discuss in more detail.

Snoopy x

[meri]

Les, Snoopy, thank you so much for your responses. The definitions/explanations were a great help to me. I feel really ignorant about some of this as I am new to the idea of TandD for girls. I appreciate all of the help I can get! If you have any more ideas/suggestions concerning the role of deliberately ruined orgasms in female T and D and orgasm training, I would love to hear from you.

Snoopy, I thank you so much for your reply. There is a lot I would like to discuss with you, and I will try to PM you tonight. I can't tell you how scared I was posting to the forum for the first time, but you and Les have made me feel welcome and like my questions are not as stupid as I thought they might be. I'm still nervous, but you have made me feel much better about being here!

If anyone else, especially other women, would have anything to add about this subject, or would like to discuss ruined orgasms for girls, I would love to hear from you. Would also like to hear from any other beginners (female) so we could share our exploration and discovery about T and D for females...

meri (nervous and excited...)

[les]

[les]

I am positive when shell sees this thread her advice will be invaluable.

[meri]

Thanks Les! I can just picture me with that bumper sticker stuck to the back of my leather mini-skirt! (Meri has fit of the giggles...)

meri

[shinini]

I think you could do the following steps:

- First: Start a denial period
- Second: Set yourself a severe punishment for cumming without permission. Declare that ruined orgasms won't be punished
- Third: Edge, edge, edge!
During edging and edging and edging I think you might get to the point of no return. It might happen that you go over the edge without intending to do so. And this is the moment you have to realise: "Oh, no!!! I will be punished!" and this thought should make you immediatley let go and stopp any stimulation. And thats it: a ruined orgasm.

Thats how I learned to ruin my orgasms.

[SuperHero]

All you have to do is stimulate yourself right to the point where you are going over the edge and just stop. Don't touch yourself at all, and you will have a ruined orgasm.

[mbop]

With the help of some of the material here on the site, i am getting better at edging, though I still have a long way to go. But please, how do I deliberately ruin an orgasm if ordered to do so?

This will vary a lot from woman to woman depending on their likes/dislikes but here's what I think:

- If you like to rub your clit as you cum then stop as it happens. For me I think this ruins my orgasm. I still have one but it's almost like a dud rocket -- there might be some sparks and "oohs" and "ahhs" but so much potential was lost it's infuriating! If your clit becomes too sensitive to touch while cumming then purposefully touch it as much as you can stand. If you can have a satisfying orgasm without touching your clit throughout and it doesn't become hypersensitive then I'm not sure what you can do. For me I've had partners inadvertently ruin my orgasm by not following through, so this is the easiest way if it applies imo.

- If you enjoy penetration and use a toy to get off then take it out as you go over. The feeling of emptyness will make it not as good it could have been. If you don't like penetration, or sudden penetration at the end, then do the opposite -- introduce the toy as you go over. This may distract you from the pleasure.

- Find ways to distract yourself with pain or annoyances while cumming. For men this usually involves thumping their balls or pulling on their scrotum. For us it really depends -- twisting your nipples may hurt for some but for others like that sort of thing. Could also try twisting your labia in an uncomfortable manner.

As for edging, I've never been very good at it. I know when it feels better and if I'm getting closer or further away but the line itself is always really fuzzy -- it only becomes clear as soon as I cross it, but then it's too late. Personally I don't find it frustrating to edge but I don't deny myself or ruin orgasms like others here either. Edges are great because if you can string one or two of them together, pull back from the edge a bit and let it build, then go and orgasm it feels much more satisfying and all around amazing than without any edges. It's also really fun with a partner if you try to edge each other. Even if there's an "accident" that's OK, it's a good accident to have.

[S.M.]

Lol, it might be a wicked idea, but what about doing a rapid move? For example, when you feel you're crossing the edge, you jump off your bed and run to the bathroom or anywhere else. Actually I find this pretty exciting, because not only you have to ruin your orgasm, but you also have to fight any natural body reactions like spasms and muscle contractions. Like getting on another level of self control. I've got to try this one day. The bad side is that if you're a guy then you have lots of clean up aftewards ;)

[meri]

Thank you all for your help and suggestions! I am working on my edging, but I just don't have enough self control to stop. I love/hate the idea of having to ruin an orgasm if i go too far. Knowing myself as i do, I think the idea of setting a period of denial and then edging repeatedly would be the best way to go, but I need something that would be a real deterant to force me to ruin an orgasm instead of going ahead and enjoying it, and then just accepting whatever punishment i have set.

What I need is some kind of punishment that would be painful enough to make me ruin what would otherwise be a delicious orgasm... I have tried spanking myself, but I just cant spank my bottom hard enough to REALLY hurt... Do any of you have any suggestions for some kind of really painful, unpleasant punishment that I could do myself? Something that would be enough of a punishment that would make me ruin my orgasm if I go too far and just can't stop?

I find this whole T and D thing to be incredibly exciting, but I need some help to work on my self control. Can any of you help a girl out?

meri

[jimmy]

Oh the fun that could be had teaching you this r/t! *L*
I have found a sharp nibble on the clit when i have pushed just too far does the trick with my lady.
The key is tming....you may have to stop just prior too being "right there". If you are very turned on your thoughts may carry you to the orgasm point but without stimulation you will be unable to have a complete , satisfying orgasm.

[mbop]

I find this whole T and D thing to be incredibly exciting, but I need some help to work on my self control. Can any of you help a girl out?

The problem is without a partner to keep you honest or make you feel guilty then any potential solution will only work as long as your self control does. Bit of a chicken-egg problem. Edging is good because it makes the orgasms feel better so there's a good reason to not just dive in right and head right to it (for me, anyway), but there's no similar feedback for ruining/denying.

Lol, it might be a wicked idea, but what about doing a rapid move? For example, when you feel you're crossing the edge, you jump off your bed and run to the bathroom or anywhere else.

Maybe that could work although it sounds a little dangerous if you're not careful. Personally my legs turn to jelly when I cum so I'd be worried about faceplanting. It's one reason why I'll never indulge in any sort of sex play while driving -- the loss of control is too much.

I have found a sharp nibble on the clit when i have pushed just too far does the trick with my lady.

This could definitely ruin an orgasm but again, I'd recommend some caution or communication or practice beforehand. Because if this happened to me out of the blue I'd probably kick you as an automatic reaction. You'd have to come up with a story for that black eye.

[janmb]

Another aspect you might wanna try is to approach the point of no return as fast as you can, rather than carefully and slowly as you typically would if you merely wanted to edge. By working yourself in whatever way takes you to orgasm the best and fastest, you can typically stop simulation sooner and still have enough momentum so to speak for a completely hands free orgasm. Experiment with stopping too early, calm down, full throttle again, stop just a tiny bit later etc, until you eventually go over.

At least for my part, if hitting the timing perfectly, it can take as much as 10 seconds from stimulation stops till contractions begin, the feeling in between being a torturous urge.