Why does this happen?

[Alliteration]

Every day, people log on to chat who are just looking for sex. While it's mostly females that this happens to, it happens to males sometimes as well. Either someone will get an unsolicited PM from someone asking to be dominated, or a thinly veiled attempt to pretend to be interested in the person's personality will be made before the same thing happens.

I just don't understand why so many people are interested in "getting off", rather than making a real, lasting connection with someone. There are a few people in chat I play with, and I've gotten to know them quite well. I just find this course of action far, far more fulfilling than bugging everyone for sex immediately until I find someone who also just wants an orgasm. There's porn all over the internet...no need to treat people like sex toys. What gives? What's the motivation? Are these people so socially stunted that they don't even understand why you can't just ask someone for sex?

[SissyTashi]

.... Yes?

[les]

Real time one one one is way more exciting,

Than merely watching actors or reading a story.

I feel so many think that because they are members it automatically gives them rights.
So they try to top from the bottom.
The fastest way possible to get me to stop chatting with someone.

If however they showed the perquisites of politeness, patience, perspicacity and tact,
Their wishes are far more likely to be fulfilled in the way they want.

As an additional observation whenever a group tease is enacted the quieter ones have the most fun.

[Bandit224]

I think everyone would agree that real time is way better. I personally believe that some are unable to get the fix they need, from actors or reading a story, but only from attention (like media attention) and stirring emotions in others (much like how trolls behave). Basically, trolls will be trolls.

[sleepysub]

because many people are simply looking to play. Not everyone has time to spend weeks getting to know everyone only to have a rather small chance of getting teased by someone in the chat. I don't think its weird at all that people PM immediately since announcing you want to be teased is frowned upon just as much. In fact the chatroom is quite unfriendly for the type of site that it is and often newcomers are completely ignored and even looked down upon.

and most people come to this site for just "getting off". This site is specifically made for people to get off on so its not weird that people coming into the chat are looking for sex. It's rather odd to think that they aren't.

[les]

because many people are simply looking to play. Not everyone has time to spend weeks getting to know everyone only to have a rather small chance of getting teased by someone in the chat. I don't think its weird at all that people PM immediately since announcing you want to be teased is frowned upon just as much. In fact the chatroom is quite unfriendly for the type of site that it is and often newcomers are completely ignored and even looked down upon.

and most people come to this site for just "getting off". This site is specifically made for people to get off on so its not weird that people coming into the chat are looking for sex. It's rather odd to think that they aren't.

Its those that try and barge in not bothering to pay heed to others feelings.

[someone43]

It has nothing to do with member rights or chat etiquette...
People look to hookup, play the "Let's go through enough social requisite politeness to fool around", and make real connections in person / real life.

I'm not making judgements on anyone, but I'm kind of tired of seeing all these posts about people being upset about how other people act in chat. If you don't like someone, ignore them just like you would in real life if their way of communicating and motives do not mesh with yours. Making a bunch of rules for the sake of basic decorum is fair enough, but taking issue with motives of individuals who are browsing a porn site and how they act in a text chat... don't you have something better to do?

While I acknowledge this is a "community" of sorts, it is still a niche porn site. The same way we "deal" with seeing teases that have fetishes that might turn us off, we have to deal with other members' personalities and shouldn't censor or try to shun them. They should have the same opportunity we all have to find people that are compatible with them.

[Ditto]

Personally, I just think it's laziness. People nowadays are in too much of a hurry to do anything, everything's for their benefit, others don't matter, and they are simply too lazy (ie uncommitted) or uninterested in the other people to spend (ie waste) their [sarcasm]precious[/sarcasm] time trying to make you feel good. After all, their feelings are more important, right?

[SissyTashi]

Like I said in chat the other day;

This is the age of instant gratification.
Would you like fries with your ejaculation?

[catcollection]

Both are right, aren`t they?

It`s easy to simply ignore people if you don`t want to play, and more fun if you know them well. Some people can be overly-persistent, but you can just hit ignore and they`re gone. At the same time, I can understand someone not caring about what I did last week when they came to play. It takes more effort to get upset about someone being rude.

Personally, I prefer PM even for normal chat. I haven`t really used the Milovana chat, but in all other sites I`ve ever used, there seems to be a core of people who `own` the room, and have all known each other for years. That`s great, I think, but trying to break into friends` conversations can be trying. Also, it feels strange to chat with a single person where everybody else can gawk.

I guess what I`m saying is I like being PM`d. Just don`t expect to get sex out of it. *g*

[daquiri]

that's been happening since chatrooms started.

it's like asking why do some people just want to have one night stands instead of getting married/ltrs.

the real question is what do all the lurker get out of lurking in the room and never saying anything? not all of them are in private convos. the ones who just log on and just stay there for hours... thats the real headscratcher....

[green]

Don't change people.

If you want to change anything, than first change yourself.

People have always been lurking, looking to get off, having great conversations, roleplaying or whatever they felt like. It's wrong to judge them on acting the way they feel is right.

After all, chat is not much different from Real Life where some people are just going out to get laid, while others are looking to connect on a deeper level with people. Both is totally fine with me. The problem here is that imo in todays society people are often scarred to go out and meet interesting people, so they chat and use virtual communication.

My message to anyone who feels like this might be true for you is:

• Don't be scarred
• Take risks everyday
• Don't take yourself too seriously
• Have no shame to do what feels right for you
• Aaaand Communicate alot!

Happy chatting everyone
~green~

[shell]

I think a lot of the people that do this, do not see the people in chat rooms as "real" people. They will have a facebook account, and treat those family and friend members with respect.
But then they come to the chat rooms and it's just a game to them.

Remember the old saying, heck people still might say it......guys would open the Playboy magazines and 75% of them never read the articles only looked at the pictures and half of those jacked off to the pictures.
There would be some blurb about the girl...."Jessica loves to read books about history and enjoys watching football games." Everyone would say, "yeah right....."
They never took the females in those pictures seriously, because the magazine officials made you see them as objects of desire and need, a toy in which you could use for self gratification.

So take that thinking to todays world, with the Internet and they see "Shell" in a chat room and think...."I want to stroke my cock while she tells me how wonderful it is to suck my cock".
There are females out there that do the same thing.....and I think the number is rising.

So, yep.....it's all about not seeing people online as "real", but as toys to serve their purpose to get off to.

And yes...that's ONLY my humble opinion. *giggling*