interested in viewpoints

[darkstar]

the below was put on a fetlife group as a result of several things i had seen and also been reading aroud the "scene" and other places,

i would be very interested in how you read it and what it is

titetled a few musings on how we comport ourselves


Anyone who has ready my profile will see that im not the most chuffed of bunnys at the moment.

infact ill go further and say that there are a few things which are acutly vexing me somewhat at the moment.

the genisis for this has been breweing for a while, reading around variouse topics which interest me, or conversly i want to know about to avoid totaly, but it crysalised when i was stood at the bar in the china hosue when i arrived rather early for a saturday munch musing of what overpriced snack i would eventualy eat whilst i waited for the munch to begin.

when i was sat there, in very clear audio range even for a half deaf engineer like me to hear whats going on, i could overhear the bar staff muttering about

"that bunch of swingers who come in" and "god we havnt got to put up with there smut again have we?" now i kept quiet at this because its not my place to be making comments as i had no idea as to the relaitonship between the chinahosue and the munch group. nor to be honest do i realy feel that obliged to defend people i bearly know over something i know nothing about especialy conduct which i may never have seen.

now i had only been to one munch before at the china house and handt heard anything like that within my earshot pleasenote thats within my earshot which isnt great at the best of times and i do find focusing on single conversations somewhat difficult in large grouos as it all blends into one for me.

infact i felt it was reasonably civilised in conversation, or atleast the conversations which i had were discrete. given the nature of the potential conversation matter.

yet whilst i have been mooching on fetlife i have been reading a great deal of comments which are basicaly and soley intended to "out" people in the lifestyle to vannila persons, very publicly and also in outright outragous manners.


look at any topic in the humilationnation group and you will begin to see what i am saying but more on that later .

but the crunch for me is basicaly the assumption that any topic of conversation is acceptable at a munch, even on which is held in a very public place. in a private room with a closed door i can see it being totaly different.

now i will freeely admit that i may be playing with the broad end of the cue here and may be missing the point but i was under the distinct impression that it was suposed to be a vanilla event to meet and chat and get to know and reinforce friendships etc as an extra to club and party nights. not as a place to discuss the explicit details of sexuality and private goings on.

yet i am trying to reconcil that aspect with watching someone braid a whip in a public bar in a public room with young children sat at a table around the corner.

of loud discussions over collarings etc

what comes to me even worse is that there is with some elements of the scene (by which i mean kink world wide not localy) who seeem to feel that its totaly acceptable to inflict and i use the word deliberatly, there own kinks upon the rest of society at will with no regard at all for any possible consequences. be it to the kinkee themselves or to the people ont he other side of the fence.

for example, i will use a topic in the humiliation aspects a s a basis where a lass has a "punishment" and people are coming out will all sorts of outragouse and frankly to my mind stupid ways for it to be fullfilled.


i am realy considering some things as a result of reading that and other topics where evidently people just do not know or care about how they act to other people and how there actions may quite seriously effect other vannilla persons lives. across quite a broad number of groups as well as if it just doesnt matter.
like as soon as you sign onto the good ship kink the rest of the world can take a running flying fuck of a high board intoa shallow shark pool your free to broadcast publicly what you do with my sexuality and i dont care if it makes you feel uncomfortable.


i keep thinking the following things

1) Have you evey considered that other people just dont want to know what kind of fucked uo shit other people get up to in there sex lives? that maybe it should be kept private and between them what it does concernt not all and fucking sundry ESPECIALY when its being forced onto people who are not even remotly connected with kink. just for some humiliation "jollies".


i mean some of the bullshit i have been reading about how it should be public, and everyone should do it. and isnt the humiliation factor great when i go to the docs etc in a chastity belt for an examination. what will the doc think about that?



2) think for a fucking few minutes at how they on the other side of the desk or conversation may feel about it. frankly sickened is the normal result. especialy when its being done in a fucking public place where there could be kids about. so obsenene or offensive body writting is a kind of dead give away and not good for kids, or families in general.


at the moment im just finding it hard to resolve my kink ideals and also my ideals for how a decent human should live and act. and im just not sure im prepared to shelve the parts of me that make me what i consider to be a decent human, being considerate to others and not making them feel distinctivly uncomfortable, for what to me is suposed to be a good time and a bit of a laugh, not something which is ever going to take total controll over my life.


its almost as if there scene in general is lacking in a little human decorum and selecting the right place and time for things

it could be, given the base nature of what it is about.

i was at aprty for halloween at a nilla mates house and a few kinksters arrived in full gear. who had bene invited by a mate of a mate . to say the hoastesses were less than massivly amussed was an understatement. but they politly (and drunkenly) let it slide at the tiem yet with there arrivel a mass exodus occured with people eveidently not happy with the situation. they didnt even try to cover it as oh ita halloween cossie.


im not ever sujesting what we do is wrong but im radicaly thinking about do i want to have that tag on me when its immediatly sujjesting that im some sort of incosiderate bastard/


just to finish this isnt aimed at anyoine person in particular, or even realy at the local scene its just something i realy need to get out in the open and in words as its directly related to how i feel i am relating with kink in general. maybe my perception is wrong and i need someone to point it out to me.

. its tonight soly because oif afew topics i read today galvanised me and also some stuff i watched on tv as well regarding how such private information can be viewed and the damage it can do to relationships of all kinds.

[les]

I read this as the author I assume to be yourself.
Is upset that many people in the tutti frutti world feel it is their right to impose their kink in front of all and sundry wit no respect to the fact it's a >>>

*YKINMK*


I agree inn the main and it is not just reserved for kinksters
TOO many people seem to think what they want to do is fine and tuff titties to any who disagree.

Les

[bookworm]

I must lead a very sheltered life as I have never come across anyone flaunting their sexual preferences in my face. OTOH I object strongly to people blowing smoke in my face at social gatherings.