a bit about me and sex and relationships
this is so you get a feel for me and how I relate to women and sex etc.
i started having sex at a normal age, 15,
i have had 2 one night stands and i didn’t enjoy them that much. the sex was ok but it was lacking the emotional contact and closeness which sex in a relationship had. i didn’t emotionally recognise this strait away i thought it was a bit of a crap shag when in reality it wasn’t it just didn’t have the closeness which i wanted on a subconscious level.
i have had a fair amount of fetish play in my life but the vast majority of it has been "vanilla" or normal sexual relationships with as much alt sex as i could get the other party to agree to. at no point do i demand them to do things they don’t like or uncomfortable with. i will discuss it but not force the issue. it must be consensual from both sides.
i have had some bad luck in relationships, had several unfaithful partners which as left me somewhat lacking in trust of women, i am aware of it and its irrationality so i do strive to overcome it but i am not always successful.
on a personal level i am actually very shy and retiring, and intensely private about my past so there wont me much more added to this unless its important or i am directly asked and feel able to be open about it.
what is it?
basically its the denial of sexual gratification using one of several methods i will only list them and only the male ones.
self control
plastic chastity belts
metal chastity belts
Prince Albert (PA) piercing penis head covers
also there are several body modification methods beyond PA piercing including sewing the foreskin together with a urethral sound to allow urination. but these are so far beyond my hard "limits" that i consider them to be mutilation and would never consent to them
why do it?
there are a great many reasons why people do it. for both cultural and sexual reasons from my reading around the subject.
one major for female use is to prevent rape in risky situations such as in dangerous areas and are emplaced at the woman’s dissension before leaving the home and removing it when they are in a safe place.
sexual reasons are normal of a BDSM variety, giving control to others from a submissive perspective , "ownership" from a dominatrix’s perspective
also as Mr tiger woods has shown, its sometimes need to prevent people in relationships wandering.
why do i do it?
this is very complex thing and may appear to be disjointed but i intended to refine and edit it to make it more coherent as and when bits come to me so you may get several copies of this as i discover new things about myself and why i am doing this.
bits in bold are how i see things emotionally and the affect things have one me in that context. .
bits in normal text are history parts explaining around the subject.
i have always enjoyed being teased and denied orgasms as part of sex, i find it makes the experience much more intense and powerful. i started doing it to myself but it is hard to stop sometimes and tease. its possible but there isn’t the control factor involved which i enjoy.
i did this in a lot of relationships and initially the female partner was a bit bemused but most came to enjoy the control i gave to them.
it took quite a few forms. from simple and short teasing then orgasm, to all up tied down bondage sessions where i had no options but to go along for the ride and take what comes to me.
it always occurs within relationships,
this is one of the important things for me, it is the giving of control of my sexual pleasure and enjoyment totally, and with no limitations to the other party. they can choose to do as they wish to me, be it taking there own sexual gratification and leaving me with none, a mutual gratification with them having control, a teasing session where i am nearly allowed to cum. forced orgasms whatever the partner wishes is acceptable.
i started to realise that it was the build up and withdrawal of stimulation and the control over me was what made things so very intense which was so erotic and the times in which i was totally denied much more powerful emotionally than the actual orgasm was.
its hard to describe exactly how intense it is for me. it is a very complex mix of emotions ranging from desire, thorniness, love, submission, and a few i have no words for.
this was normally in the longer bondage sessions where i really had no choice. i was left tormented Horney and totally unable to cum and i was in heaven, and sometimes the mental zone known as subspace.
.
this was quite a high for me both physically and emotionally, when i was released all i wanted to do was cuddle the woman i was with and be close to them. i was 18 at the time and it rammed home that sex wasn’t the point of a relationship, it was the closeness 2 people can feel for each other, the woman was totally in sync with my pleasure and controlled me to such a fine degree i was on the bring for about an hour at one point.
from this i spent some time (ok allot of time) on the net researching femdom and orgasm control. As it was such a powerful experience for me.
i read allot about enforced chastity where domes lock submissive males up indefinably
the idea of enforced chastity where in i have no choice in being locked up is both interesting and scary for me, i am of the opinion that BDSM relationships like all others are consensual no matter how much control is given to the other party, as such nothing should be "forced" instead it should be an agreed play which just occurs in an unknown time frame and at a random event which the sub doesn’t know anything about. i.e. i fall asleep free and wake up locked with a little note, or even better, the mistress herself saying now you are now mine as we agreed you will be.
, also i read about the concept of cuckolding with a man in chastity relationship and a 3rd party and the female.
this doesn’t interest me at all. i look for a relationship and caring this betrays all of the ideas i have about relationships and reinforces the betrayals i have had in he past.
i also looked into orgasm control from a dom perspective which i did use on an ex in a similar way where i constantly brought her to the edge over an hour but never let her cum. followed by 15 minutes of non stop stimulation and orgasms. ** ill go into that and related stuff later.
i had already heard of the idea of chastity and its use in fetish play, but at the time it was expensive and hard to obtain. it did interest me in the submissive aspect to totally be denied for as long as the dominant partner wanted and released based on my behaviour and how the domme felt instead of time based
i did experiment with it in the form of abstinence but it just didn’t work for more than a week, 2 at the very outside . after a week it was over due to a lack of self control but i did realise that it made me much more aroused for the time i was abstinent.
i carried on with the activities i have described for several years always looking into chastity, at new belts when the come onto the market but never discussing it as i felt it would be a stretch to far for the relationships i was in at the times.
(this bit is about a change which occurred in my life and how it occurred)
about 3 months ago i started having shiatsu for knee issues and i was supposed at the way it is a holistic approach and how emotional choices i made and life choices have affected my body. from discussions with the practitioner i realised i was always doing things for others, and in there way instead of for myself.
i started to change this behaviour by doing stuff for me for my reasons, initially buy getting the beaten up old land rover defender i have always wanted, justifying it in the only way i needed to which was by saying because i want to,
this one act was a turning point and i stumbled across a forum based around teasing and denial
http://www.milovana.com/
i had a play with a few of the web teases and found them to be exactly what i liked in sex, so i carried on exploring them one of the teases i did was very intense keeping me on edge for ages and the final randomised page said to lock myself away in chastity and i though why not. i have always considered it.
(end life altering stuffs)
i started to look for a belt to wear, settling initially on a CB6000 from the net .and from the first time i put it on it was heaven.
when choosing how long to be locked away for the first time i didn’t want to just do it for a time i selected, that was to easy and i really wanted to be giving the control to women so i asked on a cam site how long i should be locked away for, initially i was told 3 days by a dom but i added to it from what i was told by several of the girls and averaging the results.
i did have to remove 2 durations, one was 2 minutes and one was infinite. i wasn’t quite ready for that long. and 2minutes would just artificially reduce the time by to much.
i did it over the space of an evening with the cut off point being midnight,
the average came to a rather nice 34 days including the 3 days i was locked in for already. i did check the averages several times and at one point it would be a year. i got lucky but had i got the 12 months i would have done it. its a fundamental part of my personality if i agree to something i do it.
it was very interesting experience but as soon as i clicked the lock shut it felt right for me. a kind of sense of place in the universe i had never had before.
how does it feel.
this is even more complex than why do i do it and its a very complex mix of physical, sexual. emotional and again stuff i haven’t got words to describe.
to start with I was in a plastic cb6000 cage which was comfy to wear.
initially i was aroused by the feeling of being locked away, and unable to cum. it was the denial i had always looked for. even if it was at my own hands.
the design of the belt is such that i am unable to get hard in it, it curves down towards the floor which prevents the penis from hardening. however it doesn’t prevent the penis from extending and getting hard outside of the curved section which had the effect of pulling my balls away from y body.
as i am into bdsm it was the nice pain not agony but enough to remind me what i wasn’t able to cum which in itself was even more arousing.
after the first week and the belt being comfy i gave the keys to a friend to look after so i couldn’t cheat but to give them back on the 27th she doesn’t know what they are for.
emotionally at this point i started noticing massive changes in myself.
i became allot more interested in stuff than i was when i was able to cum all the time, i was getting allot more pleasure out of life then i had before.
also my attitudes towards women and sex began to change. as i couldn’t aim to jump into bed with them i became much more relaxed and started to think about ways to make them happy, pamper them and if i did end up in a sexual situation, after a frank discussion, just spending time ensuring they would be totally satisfied sexually with no regard for my own pleasure. i found i liked this new me allot more than the old me. i wasn’t jack the lad but i realised i could be a bit of a Muppet at times.
this carried on for another week when the belt broke. not a cuffed bunny as i had to cut the belt of me to prevent injury. i then ordered a different belt which was metal not plastic.
this is important as thankfully i have access to power tools and know how to use them. if it had been much longer i could have been seriously injured. was a warning to me of the risks i had undertaken and also to ditch the plastic belt which had in hindsight never been well made (i am an engineer i know this stuffs).and go for a metal one.
this one is a different design which is much more secure, much easier to keep clean, and also lets me get hard.
i started to discuss this on the forums i go on for kink stuff to get some of the stuff out and down to let me consider it. bits of which i am putting into this
one was another bloke who is doing a similar thing to me
these are some of the questions, the rest have been integrated into the above sections in allot more detail.
# 8 How does that affect your everyday life ?
apart form not jerking off all day every day very little, i have to watch what i wear so it doesn’t show and be very careful about cleaning it after i scuba dive but other than that its no difference for me physically, mentally i am finding myself to be a much nicer person, helping people out etc much more polite when i drive
i feel much more attractive, and confident around women because i know that despite my male brain thinking about how to get into bed as soon as possible I know i cant screw things up that way if i am forming a relationship by getting to sex as soon as i can.
# 9 Do you regret it?
my only regret is i don’t have a woman in my life to do it with and that i didn’t do it sooner
this is a very important part for me. i want to share this with a woman in real life and for them to have the option to take control. and i really do wish i had done it sooner.
# 10 What do you love/hates most to be in chastity?
tbh this isn’t something which i can describe it just feels great like its how things should be for me. no control over when or if i can cum and thus my desires being subservient to women’s/
one thing which would be interesting for me and highly arousing is to actually end up with a woman when i am locked in especially after a night out, end up at there’s or mine and them finding it and me explain it to them and what it means and then spending a few hours making them satisfied. .
again this is something which i find hard to express the emotion off and describe it would be a mixture of humiliation (but a good kind) relief at it having happened, and pure unadulterated arousal
physical stuffs .
the belt i am in moves around a fair bit around the balls possibly as they contract and release on there own so i need to pull the scrotum though the ring a few times a day for comfort. also the ring can rotate around the balls so the lock isn’t always central. i need to file the points off of the corners of mine as they dig in. cheep Chinese locks no doubt.
i do find that if i don’t keep myself shaved then the hairs cause more pinches,
it will pinch its just finding a comfy place for it to sit when doing things. and if it is make sure you don’t leave it as a punishment because it will cause damage. and don’t do things like drive if its not right. take a few minutes to sort things out.
i am at 19 days and i know my scrotum is feeling very swollen and tender. i defiantly have the beginnings of blue balls. which is actually a first for me.
emotionally
i am finding my attitudes to sex and how i think about it very different. i have been looking at past relationships and realised quite a few things about myself and how i acted which were not really on as a result of the desire to cum. i am aiming in my next relationship to be much less demanding in that way and much more interested in the other person and ensuring they are pampered and comfortable instead of just going for things and Cumming.
i am also much more helpful towards people. i wasn’t a Muppet before but i am thinking of how i can help people and general performing random acts of kindness like given people lifts up steep hills (i live in a hilly area near the coast and tourists are always caught at the bottom of them with a huge hike) so generally i am becoming a nicer person than i was
i am taking allot more pleasure out of things like driving, nature etc which is nice.
getting hard
well in the cage i am in its possible and happens every morning. and its quite painful. not oww its agony pain but a very constrictive tightness that wakes me up at 7 ish every morning
it feels very nice tbh reminding me of what i cant have and what i want but am being denied so much more than the cb6000s i was in did. that one just prevented it totally so there was very little penitence and time to think about what i had "lost" over a painful, throbbing hard on which wont go away keeping my mind on things.
this is one of the things i craved but i hadn’t released, i wanted to be reminded of it.
when i get hard my cock really fills the cage and due to its relatively open nature its able to swell outside of the cage with the bars of it keeping it down. the result is something like a well tied meat joint with my cock/
i cant get any stimulation at all because of the cage and how tight my cock is within it. but i can touch it which is even worse
this is increasing the torment even more. its a delightful feeling, and i think its as close to the sensations i described at the beginning when i was being denied as i can get. but it is much more prolonged.
well i have been locked for 20 days now, 21 as of midnight tonight GMT and its the longest i have ever been without Cumming for as long as i can remember
physical stuffs
i personally haven’t had any issues with precume at all even when i have been very hard.
i think this would vary from person to person.
the pinching is getting slowly worse the longer it goes on for possibly as a result of the balls becoming more swollen. and they are
all i need to do is adjust myself by pulling the skin through the ring away from the body. i do use a little lube for this and i also use it to allow me to adjust my foreskin when i needs to be for hygiene, or comfort reasons.
as to stimulation.
i cant get any PHYSICAL stimulation, at all which is the reason for the belt.
i did use Electrical on myself when I was in the CB6000 using a sound and a pad near my prostate.
this gave me intense stimulation which could not make me cum at all but kept me with a sensation like being close to orgasm .
in the metal cage it acts like a faradays cage and carries the current away from the head of the penis where the sound is to the ring which gives no stimulation then to the pad. which both sucks for me but also works for the best as it means i don’t get any stimulation.
its a bit of a sod because i do like the feeling of e stim and the constant edging it gives to me without the risk of Cumming.
SOUNDS (a urethral tube inserted into the head of the penis)
i was asked to try this by a cam girl who has taken an interest. i didn’t have an issue with trying it and it was a cheep enough option.
in the CB 6000i worse a hollow sound for a week with no ill effects. it was very stimulating , and also made pissing much easier. as i could pull the bar out of the cage a little like a hose.
also it was held in place by the cage section quite well. and allowed me to use estim allot. frustrating me even more.
in the metal cage it just doesn’t feel comfortable for long term wear at all and it has none of the positive factors it had in the plastic cage. so i have stopped using it for the time being.
i have no piercing but i liked the look of it and am semi considering a PA piercing which will both be attractive and also open up new idea for chastity play which is an interesting idea for me. .
emotionally
at the moment i am getting fluctuations of massive horny ness when all i can think about is Cumming and other times when i am resigned to what i am doing.
but normally its in the middle where i am pleased for doing it. with hornyess second,
i do want a real life key holder so i can totally submit myself to them and give the keys aware permanently for them to choose when or if i get to cum based on my behaviour and there moods and also to be totally under a woman’s control.
i do feel that this is the best thing for me on a great many levels not just sexually.
i also think that being locked could have been a good thing for past relationships for short periods. making me much more understanding and caring.
this is a reply on a forum regarding online key holding, where they keys are sent to a "dom" who keeps the keys preventing early release for those like me with no formal domination based relationship.
yes i have seen that, it does interest me to go for as long as she wants as ultimately that’s what i want a key holder to do, not give me a release date to count down to just do it spontaneously based on emotion in a relationship.
. but i would prefer it to be a real life person who i know and have some form of relationship, be it friend or otherwise, with before agreeing to hand the keys over.
it is a great trust issue and i mean no disrespect to miss i don’t know her from the next person in the street so i cant make such a massive choice on a mainly unknown person. its the same for all the online key holding places i have looked at. there is no way of knowing the person is what they say they are.
i am also not that trusting o people until i get to know them well, its a flaw of my own, so i couldn’t take such a large leap of faith
if i met miss j and got to know hew and it felt right then i would hand the keys over
a few people i have been chatting to on cam sites have asked a few things about why and how it feels.
this is possibly the best way I have been able to describe it.
"imagine what its like when you edge allot of times and then cum. how the feelings build up and up and up then explode out, well for me its building constantly getting more and more intense with no possible release to bring it back down"
At the moment I am on my 22nd day of being locked up
Physically my balls are feeling about twice the size they normally are, but its not that bad.
The last 24 hours have been interesting. I have been constantly aroused and there was nothing I was able to do about it. Such as sweet torment
I from this point on the hornyness just got the better of me and I don’t realy remember much . I ended up being almost delirious with desire. When the tiem came to be released I wish now I handt done it.
I am now embarking on a 50 day minimum session.
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