Milovana and Relationships

[emerald]

I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful wife who indulges my interest in T+D. She has a different set of desires and kinks, but she's game to try stuff with me. She hasn't told me directly, but I know that she has some negative energy around the mistresses on this site. We'll soon have a chat so I can better understand what's happening and how I can help.

Feel free to comment on my situation, but I'm really curious how T+D has entered into your relationships, for better or worse, and how you and your partner handled the issues that came up.

Thanks,

Emerald

[Lindsey]

I'm a home wrecker. Tell you wife to keep an eye on me, for sure.

Seriously though. If she has any concerns, tell her to message me through your account and i'll get her my email to talk with her and quell her worries.

-L

[emerald]

Thanks for the replies. Actually, I haven't made any direct contact with the Mistresses here. I believe she may have some jealousy regarding my fantasy interactions here.

Lindsey, I appreciate your offer, and I'll take you up on it if it she's interested.

[submun]

emerald, i have a gf of 5 year's now and she too is not into t&d. oh,she'll laugh at all the crazy thing's i've done,but she absolutely will not humiliate another human being. she tolerate's my kink's,but is not a domme.i have an on-line Mistress and have chatted with other's. they have all mentioned to have my g/f e-mail,im them to talk about it,but she wont.i'm happy to be in a relationship where she will let me satisfy my kink's. who know's maybe some day. her favorite saying is "what are they going to do,reach thru the wire's and punish you?" i do believe some of the Mistress" i've talked to could! lol. anyway,i'm grateful for what i have!

[all2true]

Thanks for the replies. Actually, I haven't made any direct contact with the Mistresses here. I believe she may have some jealousy regarding my fantasy interactions here.

When being open with a women
they are often worried about security
need to feel secure is a prime directive
so
Remind her that -by talking-being open
that she has nothing to worry about.
It's the stuff guys DON'T talk about that's messes up relationships
The "secreat relationships"

Also remind her that one of the joys of T&D
means that your more horney
not Less!
I mean after edging 20 times without cumming in a day
you'd beg to be touched by a real women

I am getting married shortly
and have shown my fiancee the site
and walked her through my posts

DO NOT ask her to be an online mistress
NEVER EVER ask!
Let her grow knowing you
shower her with love (not hard to do as a sub)

Luck!

[omssx]

I would imagine, and perhaps rightly so, that your wife feels like "Why is he on those forums with those 'mistresses' when he has a perfectly good partner right here, what am i doing wrong? Why arent i enough?"

In which case i would suggest giving milovana and similar sites, a rest. spend much more time with your GF, tell her how great she is and really build her up. I mean shes right if she thinks like that, why isnt she enough?

sure milovana is great but when i get a partner i shall no longer be peering in here, because my girlfriend will be more than enough for me (otherwise i wouldnt be with her) And i think that is your problem. She probably is jealous, and worried that shes not enough. And if you want to chat with online mistresses then why wouldnt you go to see a real life mistress? (this is how she might think, not that i think you would cheat on her but she probably feels insecure right now)

And a lot of women feel strongly about porn and related materials. I know one of my girl mates HATES porn because she caught her BF watching a paris hilton video (why would you do that anyway? Jeez....) and he later cheated on her, and if your GF is like my friend then Milovana isnt somewhere you should be right now.

Thats my advice. Make her feel more secure, more loved, more special and things will sort themselves out im sure!

Maybe once she feels secure with you she might join the forums. Id stay clear of the webteases for sure, otherwise it seems shes not sexy enough for you.

[Dath85]

Make her feel more secure, more loved, more special...

Sound advice for sure :) Although I feel like it's important to say that not all girlfriends automatically hate their boyfriends looking at porn. I know many from both sides and there are always inbetweens to any two points of view. As an example I know someone who "is allowed to" watch porn, so long as he isn't seeing his girlfriend that day. As in, if she can help him out then that's the preferred option... if not, he can help himself :D

I think the talk you plan to have with your wife will do you both good :) I'd maybe advise you listen first before trying to convince her otherwise... Am sure most of us have tried to argue the wrong point which means that we "just don't get it!" hehe - Hopefully she can explain to you fully her concerns which will give you a better chance of workin it through. Maybe you'll both agree that this site isn't to be looked at ever again... but as long as you both understand why the decision is made its happy days, no? :)

Some words for thought: In my opinion, Milovana isn't like 'Normal' porn. If I were to describe the site I'd say that you are following sexual orders from another human being. Now I realize most of the teases on here are written by men and it doesn't make me feel homosexual because I "Get it", I understand that it's about imagining the woman teasing you, not the Author. Think about how your wife could interpret this site, and it can quite easily be seen as a 3rd person to a relationship... If she has no objections to normal porn, but has strong objections to this site... that'd be my first guess at her concerns.

Well that's come from personal experience, I hope it's of any use to you.

[emerald]

Thanks for the honest insights. All well said.