After enjoying the many teases on this site for a long time, I finally decided to take the plunge and have a go at giving something back. So I decided to write a tease.
A Gift from Princess is my first ever tease, so it is a little rough around the edges (no pun intended). i would very much appreciate any feedback anyone is willing to give.
What did you like/dislike about the tease?
Was the length OK?
Did I reuse some of the pictures too often? (I worried about this, but didn't want to have the model suddenly completely change outfit)
I am not sure what the etiquette is on linking ones own teases, so I have put a link inside the spoilers below. If this is against any rules then please let me know and I will remove the link.
I can't speak for everyone, obviously - but the teases I like the most are ones where there's a feeling of helplessness (and a reason for the feeling of helplessness - being locked in chastity, or the slave of an evil female cult, mind/magic control, etc, etc).
This one just felt like unadulterated submission, with no real backstory or development. That might be fine for some folks, but it doesn't really do it for me.
The reusing of pictures isn't a deal-breaker, but I think it's probably better to have the outfits change, then constantly be seeing the same image over and over.
Also - setting is important (to me).
When I can't imagine a tease taking place outside (and this looks like a very public outside), it detracts from my experience if the picture of the girl is her being outside.
The tip I would give someone writing a tease - figure out your favorite teases - figure out what you liked about them, and why it turned you on so much.
Write an outline - create characters, and then find women who fit those characters (I prefer to use the model's actual names - because I feel like it takes away if you're looking at a tease where you *know* the model is named "Brie" but the author calls her "Jessica"). Follow your outline - and expand where necessary. You don't have to write the whole tease in a day.
What I do - is I come up with a story - then I pick the models. Then I write the story (each page) in word, and upload it with placeholder images. Then I upload the real images and read it to myself before publishing (so the story seems fresh to me). If I can't get off from my own story, I don't publish it.
Just my thoughts! Thanks for giving it a try, and welcome to being an author!
This is my first time actually commenting on a tease. I did enjoy it. I personally have a different preference than the previous comment on your tease. (nothing wrong with his preference at all, we are all different and different things work better or not so good for different people.) I generally prefer myself to not see the same pics over and over again in a tease. I would rather have them change it up even in different outfits. (I do think for a tease of this style you have to stick with the same model though.)
I like the fact that you actually had people pick out a REAL person they know and use imagine that person. That was a fun kinky twist from what I have come across so far. That is what really stuck out different (to me anyways) from the other teases on here and it made it more real for me.
Maybe if you do a new tease you could combine this aspect along with "think of your ex girlfriend/ current girlfriend/ wife" as the one who is having you do this stuff. I remember one tease on here that actually had you pull up a pic of your ex girlfriend and look her in the eyes as you said things/ thought things. Just an idea.
Overall I think you did a pretty good job for your first tease.
I definitely feel that my tease was a bit rough around the edges so I do appreciate people chiming in. I am hoping to produce another one over the next week or two, so hearing peoples thoughts is a big help.
