Feedback: Only Girls Cum! by Unkn0wn

[lmind]

Only Girls Cum!
by Unkn0wn
https://milovana.com/webteases/showflash.php?id=31143

This is a fun tease about being brainwashed into becoming a sissy. The theme of sissification is very common, so it's hard for a tease to stand out here. And sissification is honestly not my thing at all -- but that's purely my personal taste. I only clicked on this tease because I really liked the title. (just being honest!)

So at this point, you should know I still happily gave this tease 5 stars. I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though it's outside my personal preferences. Imho, that's saying something. Unkn0wn did fun, creative stuff with the Flashtease format. I'm not going to spoil it for you, but if you're into sissification or mind games, you should definitely check this out. Even if you're not into sissification, still check it out (and make modifications to the instructions as you see fit). The narrative fits the pace, and the pictures are excellent. The tease takes less than 30 minutes.

Constructive feedback for Unkn0wn:

Spoiler: show

I normally prefer consistent, recurring characters in my teases, rather than slideshow-style teases featuring lots of different, nameless girls. That said... this is the best slideshow I've seen in a long time. I think it's because your choice of pictures was so good -- sexy, slim women, wearing various lingerie, dresses, and bikinis. Their breasts were proportional to their bodies, which I like. And I also prefer sexy clothes, instead of bare nakedness. So I'm not sure what to say about the fact that it was a slideshow. I still like having at least one recurring antagonist (protagonist?) with a name -- but maybe that's just my taste. Like... who is the girl brainwashing me? What's her name? I find it sexy when I can direct my frustration toward a specific person, especially in teases that end the way yours did.

Minor proofreading notes:
-On a couple slides, you use the word "no" where you mean to use "know"
-On at least one of the fast "Slap" sequences, you accidentally use "SLap" instead of "Slap" or "SLAP". Don't half-capitalize.

Still 5 stars, though! Because the creative execution was so good.

Suggestions for Part 2:
-The fast sequences are fun, original, and could be a defining feature of this series (imho). Keep it up!
-More than one ruined orgasm? Just a thought/wish.
-Who is the girl brainwashing me? It's up to you whether you want to give her a real character. But I, personally, would like to know.
-Great pictures. More of the same!
-One of the things that turns me off sissification teases is the amount of major props (like butt plugs, full girly outfits, and chastity cages) and anal play. Your Part 1 was easy to follow and did not need many props (just panties). I really liked that, so I say keep it up! But, of course, if you want Part 2 to go "deeper", it's your tease, and you should do what you want.

Looking forward to Part 2!
-lmind

[1885]

You could literally take everything lmind said here line by line, and that's my exact thoughts toward this tease verbatim.

[Unkn0wn]

I appreciate the feedback and I will take it all into account when writing part 2. Ill be honest I dont know how im going to write part 2 which is why I asked for feedback. This concept is completley new to me. I wrote over 50 teases on my last account and I wanted to try something completley different and sissification isnt my thing tbh. I enjoyed writing it though. I may go back to my old way of writing but I will keep up with this new series though and then most likely go back to my original style. I deactivated my old account for the wrong reasons and lost alot of personal work but I didnt want people to make links between my 2 accounts. Hence my new style of writing but its not gripping me like it used to so im going to revert back to my original way of writing after this series. I have a model in place but I couldnt say how long this would go on.

With all that said I do have a propositon for my old friend and imho the best author this site has ever seen in 1885. As you are the only one who knows what my old account was and our teases were very similar and shared the same kinks. I think it would be fun to co write a 4 part series similar to the chain but this wouldn't be for while so I will let you think. I miss your teases do its kind of a selfish thing to ask but I think it would be fun to do and would get me wroting again in my old style.

Again thanks for the feedbacl and all the other messages ive received. I am taking it all on board and I think part 2 is going to be epic. I am just waiting for the one day I can sit down and write it in peace. It will most likely be next week but dont qoute me on that :)

[Trusfrated]

I'd like to echo what the others said, and also add my own tip.

I played this with GuideMe using the TTS option. That way, all of the words were spoken by a female voice of my choosing. When the pictures and words started changing very quickly, this really helped me feel more immersed and relaxed, rather than moving my eyes back and forth to read and view the images. I admit that I am a somewhat slow reader, and this option may not be so necessary for some. But this just made the tease that much more awesome for me.

[Mortymorth]

Maybe the best tease I've ever tried! :D (and I've tried more than a few)

"Here insert the same critique as above."

Sorry I'm not giving further constructive comments and only asks:
Well, I don't know if this is already available somewhere here on the site, or if it's not allowed to ask; but where do you find your pictures? They were really amazing many of them!

[Unkn0wn]

I got them from homeofsexygirls.tumblr.com :)

[lmind]

I got them from homeofsexygirls.tumblr.com :)

Wow, great tumblr! Thanks for the link!

-lmind

[samuel999]

Fantastic work!!! Really can't wait for the next one..

Can I suggest a self facial or something like that, gargling with Cum holding it in until you cum twice.. You know stuff like that. Pretty much the exact same stuff haha what the others say however the "trance" part was good but quite long, like if it was like 15-20s as 4/5 slides in a row racks up a long time.
Also if you add like really, really hard edging stuff like stop.. Start, edge stop over and over and if somehow you can add a metronome, you know the pacemaker? It would be the actual best tease on the site. Good work.


Other than that, truly fantastic and congratulations on the TOTM.
I look forward to the rest of the series ;)))

[ZslaveX]

I appreciate the feedback and I will take it all into account when writing part 2. Ill be honest I dont know how im going to write part 2 which is why I asked for feedback. This concept is completley new to me. I wrote over 50 teases on my last account and I wanted to try something completley different and sissification isnt my thing tbh. I enjoyed writing it though. I may go back to my old way of writing but I will keep up with this new series though and then most likely go back to my original style. I deactivated my old account for the wrong reasons and lost alot of personal work but I didnt want people to make links between my 2 accounts. Hence my new style of writing but its not gripping me like it used to so im going to revert back to my original way of writing after this series. I have a model in place but I couldnt say how long this would go on.

With all that said I do have a propositon for my old friend and imho the best author this site has ever seen in 1885. As you are the only one who knows what my old account was and our teases were very similar and shared the same kinks. I think it would be fun to co write a 4 part series similar to the chain but this wouldn't be for while so I will let you think. I miss your teases do its kind of a selfish thing to ask but I think it would be fun to do and would get me wroting again in my old style.

Again thanks for the feedbacl and all the other messages ive received. I am taking it all on board and I think part 2 is going to be epic. I am just waiting for the one day I can sit down and write it in peace. It will most likely be next week but dont qoute me on that :)

Wow, I just did these two teases and I gotta say it was a great experience. I can't believe I didn't try these earlier. I'm not much into the sissy thing either, so I skipped the panties part. Chastity though it turns me on a lot, I do not have a device. I go the old fashioned way of just not touching or cumming. I did however really enjoy the slapping parts, only thing I think I'd change there is maybe having the girls encourage you to slap harder in each new set of slaps.

With that being said, part two blew my mind. I was definitely able to cum in the end and would love to see more stuff like that. I would love to see a series like that.


PS
I've been a lurker on milovana for a very long time and with 50+ teases written I'm pretty sure I know who you are. Or your last account at least. I don't want to say anything in case you want to keep that private. That was a sad day when all those teases vanished, a lot of great work though. Thanks for the fun times.

Welcome back, can't wait to see more.

[goodman854]

Are you going to make a part 3? Part 2 was pretty darn good. I enjoyed it too. A bit different and a tad shorter. But I look forward to a part 3. Story is great too btw. Progression would be nice but even just something simple like p2 works.