So my girlfriend decided to put me in long time denial and its the first time ive ever really been forced to do it... she said well start off slow with a couple of days and move on from there
everyday i must masterbate 10 -15 mins without cumming
we dont own any chastity device so im constantly horny and she loves to tease mee...
its already been 6 days and i dont know how much longer i can last before she decides to let me cum:/
If i am to cum, i am to report to her and she said next time she will punish me. I dont know how she will do this, maybe ruin some orgasms or physical pain but im not eager to find out hehe.
Ill report back here if and when she lets me cum:) but in the meantime any suggestions on how not to be so horny all the time, knowing i cant cum or else id be punished
Thanks for reading! ill respond to any comments since i wont be busy cumming lately haha :p
first time denial...
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ds13sp21
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Re: first time denial...
Nothing yet:/
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Banquo
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Re: first time denial...
Good luck with your first denial! Does your GF know about milo? she might get lots of wicked ideas for you if she reads the teases / forums *chuckles*
And trust me, a chastity device doesn't make you feel any less horny.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars - Oscar Wilde
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ds13sp21
- Explorer
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- Gender: Male
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Re: first time denial...
no she does not know about this site but im trying to ease her into the idea or looking into sites such as this :)Banquo wrote:
Good luck with your first denial! Does your GF know about milo? she might get lots of wicked ideas for you if she reads the teases / forums *chuckles*
And trust me, a chastity device doesn't make you feel any less horny.
and i would love to try it with a cage ! just so i wont have the urge to jerk when shes not around :/
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MarksMistress
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Re: first time denial...
Chastity is something that Mark, my husband of 12 years, and I have had an interest in for some time. It became an important part of our life five years ago. I work in the insurance industry and have to travel a lot. He often has to work long hours. We realized that our sexual life was fading away. After Mark gave me a strong nudge to consider using chastity for him, I decided it was worth looking into almost anything to put the spark back into our marriage. Since Mark was an executive at an engineering firm, I let him do the initial research on finding the right chastity device, while I put a lot of effort into researching how to make chastity work for us.
I have always felt that being well informed about something enables you to do it well. Whether you are reading this to help you do your own research on chastity or your partner gave this to you, one thing is apparent: you obviously have some sort of interest or you wouldn't be taking the time to read about the amazing concept of male chastity and its benefits.
There is a lot on the internet on chastity including a wonderful commentary by Marie which I took as a starting point, and there are several internet support groups and chat rooms which seem to startup and die down as people move around. I have communicated over the years with over two dozen wives who keep their husbands chaste. I have met several of them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There was a newspaper article a while back that stated that well over a million of the plastic CB2000/3000 type chastity devices have been sold. This just goes to show that male chastity is less bizarre than you probably thought and there is a lot of it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.
This document is a summary of what I have found out talking with many other women and practicing chastity with Mark for several years. I hope that it will help other wives considering a chastity lifestyle for their husbands.
Before you embark on considering putting your man in a chastity device, you need to ask yourself the following questions. Are you unhappy with how much attention he now pays to you? Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he is paying too much attention to pornography or other women? Has he admitted to you that he masturbates too much? Would you be willing to have less intercourse, if you got a lot more attention including a lot more oral sex? Do you recognize that you too have also let your relationship dwindle over time as he has grown more distant? Are you willing to take control and put in the effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way? If you said yes to even a couple of these, you should consider chastity for your husband.
To make chastity work you need to first develop a plan and then whole heartedly put it into action. I read a lot and communicated with many others and the strong consensus was that chastity to change your marriage has to be real and not a game. It has to be a 24/7 part of your relationship. 24/7 is the foundation; it is what changes men for the positive because they shouldn't have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is one of the areas that the goddess, lady, mistress, keyholder or whatever you prefer to be known as must have absolute control of. Although the woman remains in control it is very important to remember that you and he are still a couple in a relationship, he is still your husband and that shouldn't be forgotten, your relationship only changes once you close the bedroom door. Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. Your dominance should not interfere in other areas though you will find he will react differently, often positively, as his feelings and emotions change.
All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn't seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you. Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you're happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.
How to do it, that is an extremely important decision. Developing the correct plan, one that would work for my husband, was the most detailed part of the research process. By taking the advice of many other women, I was able to put a well informed plan together that I was confident that would be successful. I followed this plan from day one and still, do to this day. I have found it works. At least a dozen other ladies have also utilized variations on this plan successfully. We must always remember that sexually we are always in command and that first and foremost we will always be sexually satisfied. This is the cornerstone to happiness for both you and him. Keeping you sexually satisfied is your husband's job. Mark does so anywhere and anytime I say and by any means that I demand. His not being able to experience the pleasure of an orgasm only means that I experience many more than ever before.
You may think that this works only to your advantage and that is a common misconception. It is just as advantageous for him. He must keep you satisfied to eventually get his release and every time he satisfies you he is happy because he has made you happy. It is important to instill to him that his primary means of sexual gratification will be through yours. Eventually every time you experience an orgasm he will have a sense of sexual satisfaction. How you will accomplish this I will explain in a moment. What could be better, your being pleasured any way you like and experiencing wonderful sensations. He can not have an orgasm but he feels satisfied because you are and he will maintain a high libido. Although you're still equals outside of the home you are the queen of the bedroom. Except on especially cold nights, I insist Mark sleep naked. To enforce that you do have a certain amount of control it is important that he is forced to do and maintain a change in his appearance, something between you and he. This must be something that would be embarrassing for him when out in the general public so it should be concealed. Generally something under his clothes; replacing his underwear with ladies panties or requiring him to wear a girdle if he is overweight are popular examples. Some of the women think that a man's feet are best, easily covered or uncovered based on your orders and modifications could be removed when you feel it is necessary and reapplied when the time is suitable. In my case, Mark wears a gold ankle bracelet and I paint his nails with clear polish. With the exception of work and exercise he must wear whatever footwear I designate. High heels are a particular favorite since he likes these on me and he looks so funny when he tries to walk in them. I find this does absolutely nothing for me sexually but it re-enforces to him the fact that I am in control.
Achieving your desired results is easier than you might think. It is an empowering experience. Depending on your situation there will be differences but there are parameters that should be followed to achieve the greatest results. The most important step is always the first one. This is where he is made to understand that you control his sexual pleasure from this point forward. Most of the women I have talked with agree that it is best to lay out the terms of your new relationship with him in the strongest possible terms. Some favor a written contract, which I followed, so there is no room for confusion. My terms and the consensus advice from those women I talked with are that he agrees to having his penis locked in a chastity device of your choosing, that you alone have the power to grant him an orgasm and that you may decide never to allow him to have another one, that he agrees perform all services, domestic and sexual, that you request, that he agrees to being disciplined in any way you deem appropriate, and that because he is locked in a chastity device that you may need to find other people to meet some of your sexual needs. Anything less than these terms and he has not admitted that he has to give up total control of both his sexuality and yours to you.
Your having other sexual partners is a controversial issue. A couple of the women I communicated with had long had other partners in addition to their locked up hubby. A couple of bisexual women had female partners but only their hubby on the male side --- a nice arrangement if your proclivities run in that direction. A few of the women have had a fling or two and maybe their agreement with their husband made them more comfortable doing this. Most of the women I talked with, though, did not carry on with other sexual partners because once their hubbies were locked up they were getting all the sex and attention they could ever want. Some of them do tease their husbands about the possibility of seeing other men. Two of the women I talked with volunteered that if things had kept going like they had been in their marriages they would have sought out another man, meaning hubby's chastity stopped an affair.
It is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity for their male that initial enforcement of chastity should be at least three months of continuous wear without relief after you go through the break in period of getting a device that fits. Preventing him from having an orgasm for three month period may seem a bit harsh but it is paramount to your success as it allows his body and mind to adjust to the lack of masturbation and sexual pleasure as desired. Enforcing the first three month period will allow him to get in to the proper frame of mind and make him understand your desire and your commitment and your determination to his being chaste; it will also give you the chance to develop the strength to say "no". He should be made aware of the time frame immediately upon his being secured in his device, this allows for a clear understanding of the initial commitment of time. If he is at all uncooperative during this first three months, you should add additional time to his lock up. I gave Mark a one week extension as a warning about whining about getting out and a one month extension the second time he more bluntly told me he needed out. After that there were no more incidents but I was seriously considering three months for the next offense. I tend to agree with the more experienced women that I talked with that you can not be too strict with respect to the initial lockup period if you want to achieve the triple goals of getting yourself past feeling that it is your duty to give him orgasms, getting him focused on his new role of pleasing you, and your becoming comfortable with being in charge. If you haven't achieved these goals then lengthen the time. In retrospect, I think that I came down hard on Mark and added the extra month because I felt myself falling into the trap of feeling that I had to let him have an orgasm since I saw him so frustrated by the chastity device. I am glad that I did. When I finally let him out it was on my terms.
After three months of being locked up your hubby would be willing to do almost anything for a release. Rather than pleasuring himself when he wants, he will become dedicated to pleasuring you when you want it and how you want it. You too also need to explore how make his chastity work best for you. I was counting the days until I could have intercourse with Mark again. You will start to experiment and think about how to train him to pleasure you without worrying about his having an orgasm. When you can do this it will have change the dynamic of your relationship in a way that set you and him on the path to long term happiness.
Upon completing his initial confinement period I assure you that you can give him an experience like he has never had before, this is a reward for the couple. You will have a sense of strength for enforcing it and him for getting thru it. You should make his orgasm a slow drawn out one with lots of teasing. It will be all too easy for him to cum very quickly. You may need to tie him down to keep him on edge but when you finally do let him cum it will be almost too much for his body to handle. Once you allow him his first release it is entirely up to you how many sexual experiences you allow, how they occur and how the ejaculate is disposed. Most of the wives I talked to agreed that feeding their husband his ejaculate was a strong display of their control over his sexuality.
A very important step during any release period is to ensure that you will get him right back in to his device. Some of the women do this by always tying him down before the device is removed. While this has its old school charms, there are lots of other options. Locking his hands behind his back in a pair of handcuffs is a quick way to keep him from grabbing his penis if you are teasing him. I also have a waist belt with a pair of leather cuffs attached which is easy and fun to use. You can get something similar for cuffing his hands to his thighs. A wonderful device called a Humbler works well if you want him to have use of his hands to pleasure you. If all you are doing is inspecting penis and making sure the device is cleaned then I just put the handcuffs on one of his wrists or ankles prior to removing his device. Before the cuff comes off he has to be secured back in his chastity tube. I am confident that he would not be willing to go to work with the dangling cuff. Several of the other women have tried this trick and found it works well. The less that you have to worry about his arguing that the device doesn't have to immediately go back on the more likely you are to take it off frequently which promotes both teasing and keeping the tube and his penis clean.
There were a number of different views about how often a male should be allowed to cum after the initial denial period. Some of the women with younger males let theirs have an orgasm about once a week. I suspect that they were masturbating a couple times a day before this so that once a week is a big reduction. Most of the women I talked to though thought that it was best to strike a balance between keeping them completely denied and giving them some hope of gaining a release. You will need to experiment and ultimately you will need to do what works best for you, recognizing that the less often for him the better. The most common belief was that it was not good to allow their male to achieve an orgasm more than once per month but most thought that his orgasm should not very often be withheld for more than three months unless there was a good reason for doing so. Several women who I have become friendly with though believe that once a year is the right number. Some of the women liked to think about how often hubby could have an orgasm as a small fraction of the number of orgasms they had. A hundred to one ratio was popular but you can pick the number to suit your needs and gets the time between releases just about right. This approach gives him a strong incentive to initiate sex. I suspect that Mark would be unbearable and unstoppable if this was the rule but you know yourself and your hubby and can always experiment.
Some of the other women like to set goals for their hubbies where they be allowed an orgasm earlier than scheduled if a big goal was met. One of the women I talked with wanted her husband to lose 40 pounds. After he completed the initial three month lock up, he was given a mind blowing orgasm that seemed to make all worthwhile to him. She brought him back down to earth by telling him that their relationship was so much better with him locked in his chastity tube that he would now get out only once a year for a release. She then told that she would let him out early one time during the year for each ten pounds that he lost and that for each five pounds he gained he would get three months added on to his lockup. She was thrilled with the results. He got fifty pounds off during the year and got five extra orgasms. Now, he is right where she wants him, fifty pounds lighter and locked on a one year interval with the threat that it will be over two years if he gains back even half the weight he lost.
Males who had cheated with other women rather than by being chronic masturbators usually got very harsher treatment meted out by their wives. The other wives are quick to talk a newcomer out of any thought of leniency for her husband if he had sex with another woman. Several of these males are locked up permanently in some very mean devices with no chance of release ever as a condition of not being divorced. I have told Mark that he is lucky that he is locked up and cannot stray because I now know what can be done to an adulterous husband to make him suffer evermore. He knows he would get the full treatment and then some.
I personally have found that a good baseline is to not allow double digit releases, meaning less than ten per year. You may find that you allow him to be released monthly and then decide that you would enjoy making him go for a longer period. It is alright to suddenly increase the time. He might ask why and you simply need to tell him "because I am in control of your sexual abilities and I enjoy denying you, the longer I deny you the more you become frustratingly horny and thus I feel a sense of satisfaction". Right now I am following the advice of several of the women I am friends with to have Mark go an entire year without an orgasm just to see how hard I can push him and how well he can handle it. We are eight months into it now and it has been wonderful. I have really stepped up the teasing and managing Mark takes more time and discipline. The payoff is that I have had more great sex than I have ever had and Mark has become sweeter and more devoted to trying to please me than I ever thought possible. He has done this without any whining since I told him that I would happily add on another year if he did.
The most common question women new to chastity ask is what type of device to put him in. The consensus advice, which now unfortunately now with too much experience I have to concur, is to prepare yourself for some frustrating trial and error to find the right device and the right fit. There is no right device for all males. It is a bit like finding the perfect pair of shoes. The chastity device needs to be custom fit. It has to be comfortable if he is going to live with it on 24/7 and it has to be completely secure and effective if you are going to be happy with it. There are two basic types of devices, chastity tubes and chastity belts. The chastity tubes usually have the tube attached to a ring that goes over his cock and behind his balls. The belts go around the waist. They also have a tube which is attached to the front shield part that forces the penis straight downward. With a narrow tube, a good belt is very effective at preventing erections. Some of belts come with attachment points so you can hook a dildo to the front shield for you to use or to insert a dildo into his anus. The main drawback with the chastity belts is that they are expensive, bulky and much less comfortable than the tube devices for many men to wear. They also need to be sent back for waist adjustments if his waist size goes up and down. Most of the women I have talked with use tube type devices but there are some women with custom made belts by Neosteel (neosteel.de) that love them. I have two chastity tube devices from Mistress Lori (http://www.chastitytube.com), a woman on a mission to put an end to male erections, masturbation, and cheating. I have her number 7 which is a short straight steel tube which has a ring that goes behind the balls for normal use, and an acrylic number 14, which I use on Mark when he travels and has to go through metal detectors.
Another thing you need in a chastity device is to get him in the smallest tube his penis will fit in while soft so he can not get an erection in the device. Males who are what is known as growers, their penis get much larger when excited, are much harder to fit than those who are showers, those whose penis gets hard but not much larger. If you get the tube too small his penis will get fluid retention which is called edema but otherwise, smaller is better. You want him completely dependent on you for getting an erection and a smaller tube will actually be more comfortable after he has adjusted to it. A loose tube can also allow enough growth from an erection that with sliding the tube up and down or using a vibrator on it some males can successfully masturbate.
The last thing is that the device needs to prevent him from rubbing his penis particularly the head. Many males if they can rub the head can cum although it is a pretty frustrating orgasm almost akin to milking and hence not much to worry about except that you want him completely under your control. Chastity belts work best on this account since they completely deny access to the penis.
From time to time you might find it necessary to punish him for what ever reason, he might refuse to provide you with sexual pleasure as instructed or he spoke to you in a negative and degrading way; there are certainly many possible infractions. An effective punishment is to increase his time of confinement; this should always be done in at least a week increment but you will probably find that additions of two weeks or a month will be more effective unless you like having him continually testing you which I don't. As an example let's say he was tired or in a bad mood and failed to enthusiastically provide oral sex to you one evening. If this happens it is imperative that you do what he would not. Masturbate yourself to as many orgasms as you like, he may then attempt to provide for you but you must not allow him to. After you have satisfied yourself let him know that his refusal requires that he be punished and that you have decided that an additional month will be added to the time that is already required. If he gives you any argument, add two or three months to his lock up time. You could also be creative by locking him up for one month for every time you orgasm and really go to town.
Prostate milking is a necessity if your male is locked up for over a month otherwise his prostate can get clogged up and his chance of getting prostate cancer increased. Milking causes a release of seminal fluid which clears out the prostrate but provides none of the satisfaction of an orgasm. Prostate milking is a wonderful thing to do and it is hard to over do. The semen drooling out will reduce the male's testosterone level though so he will be more mellow and docile after the milking. If you think that he is getting testy just put him on the milking stand and pump it out. Milking is a great way of reinforcing your complete control over his sexuality. Milking also helps to prevent nocturnal or spontaneous orgasms which can happen if he is locked up long enough without being milked or allowed to cum. You can look at prostate milking as a necessary procedure, a form of punishment or just fun. As long as there's no urine mixed with Mark's semen, which happens sometimes, then he “recycles” everything that is milked out.
There are a number of ways to do it and milking is psychological more effective if done with the chastity device on. Some of the women use a rubber glove or anal probe specially designed for the purpose. This works but is slow and tedious. Using a strap-on, also called pegging, and taking your man anally also works well if you go at it long enough and figure how to stimulate his prostrate. There are two models, the feeldoe and nexus that were designed by women that will give you great stimulation while allowing you to take him anally. The Tickleberry and Good Vibration's http://www.goodvibes.com/main.jhtml websites are good places to look. This is a favorite of many of the women I have talked with. They find it most amusing to orgasm themselves while forcing the semen to drool out of hubby's chastity device with each in-and-out thrust. I give it a go every so often particularly when I want to remind Mark that I control every part of his body, not just his penis.
The milking session usually lasts between 10 - 20 minutes, and is a pleasurable gentle massage of the prostate, after about 10 minutes hubby will begin to release fluid which Mark says has a sensation similar to slow urinating. After continued massage the fluid flows out freely, and can be collected as it drops in a cup or saucer for hubby's consumption. There are good milking manuals online. One is here http://malechastitytrainingforcouples.t ... ing-manual
I don't limit pegging Mark to just milking though, it can also be useful for keeping him humble, or anytime I wish for my own pleasure! A couple's relationship dynamics will change a bit once he's underneath you and you take him anally with a strap-on. Mark is more submissive, more sensitive to my needs, wishes and whims.
One you begin pegging your hubby, it is important that you take him regularly during the first months of strap-on training, in my opinion, 2-3 times a week. While he's getting used to have something inside his ass make him use a butt-plug as well. Daily wear of the plug will make it easier for his anus to accept your strap-on.
What you are doing is changing his pleasure area. He will have to learn to transfer all the pleasure he thinks he has only in his genitals, to his anus. After a while, you will make anal pleasure a primary way for him to get sexual satisfaction. And in exchange of the pleasure he will get from your strap-on, he will feel the need to give you all the pleasure you may want, and will do anything to make you happy. He will be “programmed” to satisfy you.
With Mark I did this in such a way that he never knew when I would do it: before he fell asleep, or early in the morning, before he left for work, after work, even in the middle of the night, and most of all, each time I felt like it! His body must get used to the new sensations. Take your time in order to stimulate his prostate when you are milking him, it will be very pleasant for him, even if also incredibly humbling. Any resistance, mental or physical, will diminish over time.
When he receives your strap-on regularly, his body and mind adjust to the new situation, and he experiences some physical and psychological changes. Fucking him turns into a “normal” experience. This happens because you succeeded to change is erogenous zone, by ignoring and caging his penis and by constantly stimulating his prostate through his anus, your hubby will associate anal penetration with your pleasure and orgasms.
Sharing his situation with your girlfriends is an effective treatment for keeping him humble and more docile. Every wife I have talked with has shared their husbands chastity with at least one friend. Some take the step of allowing a girlfriend to share in keyholder duties. Many have gone the extra step of showing their hubby's tube, locked in place, to a girlfriend, either to introduce and encourage chastity, or to chastise or humble him. Mark is polite, helpful and quiet around each of the handful of my friends who know about our arrangement, and all of them are allowed to inspect his predicament up close and personal on request.
Different from failing to do something is a sort of agitation that many males including mine sometimes get when they are in chastity as a result of their sexual frustration. Most of the time this finds a positive outlet in terms of showering you with attention, but sometimes your hubby will just need to be toned down. Good old fashion discipline in the form of corporal punishment – spanking, is what many of us have found works well. Almost all the women I have talked with know their husbands are submissive to them but they are not wimps. In other parts of their life they tend to be dominant A-personalities types who exert lots of authority and are often high strung. Many have masochist tendencies as well.
I use to think that disciplining my hubby was a chore. Now when I beat him long and hard, though, he sometimes just melts under my cane and breaks down and cries. Afterward, I hold him tight in my arms for a long time and then have him go down on me. The feeling I get is hard to describe. It is almost magical. I now feel sorry that most wives will never experience moments of this intense closeness with their husband.
Since most wives insist hubby keep his genitals shaved smooth, taking him for a brazilian wax is a way to both humble and disciple him.
You can beat them yourself or it is easy to find a professional dominatrix who will do it for you. If you decided on the latter option, pro-doms are easy to find in most major cities and advertise openly on the internet. Look for a no-nonsense disciplinarian type rather than a sensuous or man hating type.
There are times when Mark does something that really makes me mad. When he does I send him to a great pro-dom I found. She usually starts with milking him, because when this happens he always gets at least a month added to his lock up. She really works over and he is always on his best behavior for quite a while after he comes back. I recommend this strategy for any woman who wants to separate out the loving discipline that their husband occasionally needs from them and the serious punishment he sometimes richly deserves, which can be contracted out to a merciless third party.
The disciplinarian types almost all believe that all married men should be locked up in chastity devices and know that if they deliver a well whipped hubby back to you that they will have a long term client. This has become an increasing part of their business as the number of chastity devices sold increases since some wives no longer fear that the dominatrix would have sex with their husband if he is sent to be disciplined locked up. This is probably the last thing you need to worry about though since the last thing a well established pro-dom wants to do is have sex with a client.
A professional dominatrix is also usually happy to milk hubby if you don't want to and corporal punishment administered after a milking is more effective.
If you think you might be tempted to let your hubby out early have the pro-dom hold the keys until the anniversary of his lockup and tell her to talk you out of earlier relief when you have those thoughts. You can always pick up the key from her for a scheduled teasing or inspection. You can also send him to the pro-dom to have his tube and penis inspected if he complains that he is having problems with his tube. Having her administer severe punishment if the request is not justified should nip this type of behavior in the bud before it gets started.
You can also have a girlfriend you trust hold the keys. If you think a little extra humbling would do him some good, send him over to clean her house and let her increase his lockup time for less than perfect work. If you keep the key, keep it close at all times. There might be an emergency, but you want hubby to know you have the key and the control. A long necklace will keep it between your breasts. For me, a belly chain leaves it dangling a lot lower - an added pleasure! Bracelets and anklets are popular too, but you're more likely to get questions from friends or co-workers if the key is visible.
There may be times where you feel you have to unlock him to use his penis. Fortunately, there is a way to do this without letting him orgasm by using elamax numbing creme and a several condoms. This usually works but there is always a small risk that he will cum especially if he has been locked for a long time. There are also a number double sided penis gags that you can use to ride his face and there is even a dildo you can strap around his thigh. The most fiendish devices are those that fit over his penis. Lori sells a dildo sleeve that fits over her tubes. He will be a wreck as there is no way the Lori's tube will let him get erect but his mind and body will just keep on trying. Somewhat better for your pleasure is a new device called Her Delight from the keptforher.com company that makes an insert to help prevent males from pulling out of their CB3000. This device uses the CB3000 teste ring to anchor a dildo that slides over hubby's penis.This dildo is harder than Lori's sleeve, but not too hard. Although he can get reasonably hard in it, he will get very little in the way of stimulation that might lead to an orgasm. You on the other hand can keep at it as long you want with no worries that he will cum at all, much less too soon. His chastity tube itself does not have quite the right shape so it is not the most comfortable ride for you, but if you really want to get to him on the tease side it is hard to beat.
Every so often I and many of the women I have talked with want the real thing. To make these rare opportunities for him to have intercourse with you work for both of you, you need to recognize that after being locked up for a long time he will cum with a hair trigger. He is also unlikely to get as large as he did before long term chastity unless you take him out of the tube and get him hard on a frequent basis, which is what I do with Mark. You can avoid disappointment if you stimulate him to orgasm in some way other than intercourse when you first let him out of the tube. After he cums give him a Viagra and wait an hour or so before you use him for up. It is good for about three hours or you can give him a Cialis if you want to do an all day thing. Once he has cum the first time and recovered by the time the erection drug takes effect, he will not orgasm nearly as easily and either of the two drugs will get and keep him really hard even if he has another orgasm. Some of the women use their hubbies for intercourse for several days in a row treating the whole event as a single release period before they lock him back up for a prolonged duration. When I'm using Mark's penis for my pleasure instead of his mouth, I always fill his mouth with a pair of my panties to keep his mind on what his mouth is for, finally removing them so he can clean me up after sex.
The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself. The two can be one and the same thing. Having him perform cunnalingus on you while locked up is almost guaranteed to drive to the edge. Fortunately, for you the chastity device will keep him from going over. Just think the more sex you get without letting him cum the more he wants you. If more women knew this secret there would be a lot more locked up husbands and boyfriends.
Remember you have all the time in the world to train him to do the way you want without any need to worry about getting him off. Once locked all he does is fantasize about you. You will need to decide if you want to be the one that initiates sex or whether you want him to. My usual rule with Mark is that I will tell him when and how I want to be pleasured and he is expected to drop everything when this happens. This is clearly a control issue for me but your tastes may differ. The bliss point is when you get your hubby to the place he gets pleasure purely from your pleasure without thinking about his cock. Mark is not quite there yet but he is getting there.
There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him. There is the classic tie him down to the bed, take off the tube and work over his cock for hours. Every time you feel him close to an orgasm stop and straddle his face and have one or more yourself. Stay with it as long as you can and you will leave him a marshmallow. You may find that you have to ice down is penis to get back in the tube. Dress up in the way that drives him crazy and stand him at attention nude in his chastity tube while you softly stroke him all over except for ignoring his cock. He will struggle to stand tall as his cock struggles to grow in the chastity tube. Every woman needs to develop her own style. You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a lot of work but he will shower you with attention.
During the day and evening, give his chastity device a quick squeeze when you're at home, in the car, or a semi-private place like an elevator. In public brush up against him in a less noticable way, but one that he'll unmistakably feel. Show him the key, whisper how turned on you are. Give him a strip tease or masturbate in front of him. Mark likes to know I'm thinking about his chastity too, and teasing is one way to show it.
While it is hard to do too much physical teasing, conversation, by far, plays the bigger part. It takes very little energy and allows you to increase his frustration without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has done to become a better spouse, partner, friend and lover. Let him know how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle thru sexual frustration entertains you let him know. Maybe you enjoy his not being able to touch himself, whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all of those things that use to drive you crazy like porn and ogling pretty young things can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that the chastity tube is really biting as his favorite eye candy passes by. The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is always working for you. It stimulates him at the first sign of arousal and then quickly constraining the budding erection. You should never miss an opportunity to point things that might arouse him. I like watching adult films made with women in mind and reading erotica out loud with Mark, both keep him constantly on edge.
It is understandable that there may be days that you want to ignore his situation. It is alright to not care that all the time that he is not no longer in control of his manhood and you can let him know that you don't. Still you should not let this go more than a few days without making positive comments about his being locked up for you. The main thing if you are going to lock him up is that you need to make a commitment to yourself and him to make this work. I have told women who were thinking about chastity that if they were not willing to take control of the teasing, discipline and the frequency with which they had sex and the effort this entails that they might be better off in their old relationship where he ignored you and you ignored him. There is a way to get what you want but it will not happen by itself. He cannot change himself, but a chastity device and a lot of hard work on your part can mold him into the husband you have always dreamed about.
If he doesn't already, he will want to worship you after you have locked him up for a while. This initially bothered some of the women I talked with who felt their hubby's new found attention to be artificial. It is driven partially by his newly increased testosterone level but that is what also drove his courting of you. Most often he has agreed to being locked up because he desperately wants to want you that badly again. You need to reciprocate by demanding that he worship you as a goddess but you also need to figure out how to channel his attention in directions that are good and work for you. Those may be very different from his ideas of how he should worship you, but this is an area where your desires come first and you need to maintain strict control if you are going to be happy with the chastity arrangement.
As the endeavor in to chastity continues you will be able to add ideas and musings to your relationship that you find works well. Remembering the basic principles of how to keep your hubby under your spell will let you, and him, discover chastity's amazing rewards. Always maintain the upper hand, do those things to show both you and him that your requests are nothing less than a requirement for him.
Whether this is something that he initiated, the two of you mutually agreed upon or something that you requested from him -- one thing is a necessity, there needs to be something for him to gain. He is giving up something that is a very important part of a male's life, his sexual abilities -- and for that you need to realize that he should be rewarded as you will be, but obviously in a much different way. You know the things that he likes, that arouse him and put a smile on his face. Often times we find that these are things that really do not interest us but considering the sacrifice that he is making you too can make sacrifices. Once I saw the lengths he was willing to go to please me, I willingly and lovingly offered Mark my rear end, something that was previously off limts. Like marriage, chastity needs mutual rewards and often you will find those things that you reward him with will lead to an increase in his being aroused and enhancing his over all demeanor. It could be giving massages or trying sexual things that he likes but you never desired to try. You know how to dress to turn him on and you need to find out his fetishes if you don't know them already and indulge them. All of this will heighten his happiness and arousal. He is making a substantial change in his lifestyle and you too may need to make some major adjustments so that he feels things are fair.
The combination of chastity, corporal punishment and pegging will make your man a new creature, unselfish and kind. He will soon understand that he does not control anything _not even his penis_ he will not be able to have something as private as an erection without your consent. He will realize he can’t have what he wants, when he wants it, without your approval.
You will never want to let things revert back to his self "lack of" control again. Believe me, the routine is effective and over the long term you'll not regret it even though at times it seems like a lot of work. I think some of the husbands would given a choice go back to their old ways, but none of the wives would. I think that deep down the men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his. I know the wives, who stuck it out through the trials and tribulations of finding a chastity device that worked and figuring out how change their mindset from a need to give him orgasms to one of deserving all the orgasms they could ever want, are all much happier.
I have always felt that being well informed about something enables you to do it well. Whether you are reading this to help you do your own research on chastity or your partner gave this to you, one thing is apparent: you obviously have some sort of interest or you wouldn't be taking the time to read about the amazing concept of male chastity and its benefits.
There is a lot on the internet on chastity including a wonderful commentary by Marie which I took as a starting point, and there are several internet support groups and chat rooms which seem to startup and die down as people move around. I have communicated over the years with over two dozen wives who keep their husbands chaste. I have met several of them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There was a newspaper article a while back that stated that well over a million of the plastic CB2000/3000 type chastity devices have been sold. This just goes to show that male chastity is less bizarre than you probably thought and there is a lot of it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.
This document is a summary of what I have found out talking with many other women and practicing chastity with Mark for several years. I hope that it will help other wives considering a chastity lifestyle for their husbands.
Before you embark on considering putting your man in a chastity device, you need to ask yourself the following questions. Are you unhappy with how much attention he now pays to you? Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he is paying too much attention to pornography or other women? Has he admitted to you that he masturbates too much? Would you be willing to have less intercourse, if you got a lot more attention including a lot more oral sex? Do you recognize that you too have also let your relationship dwindle over time as he has grown more distant? Are you willing to take control and put in the effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way? If you said yes to even a couple of these, you should consider chastity for your husband.
To make chastity work you need to first develop a plan and then whole heartedly put it into action. I read a lot and communicated with many others and the strong consensus was that chastity to change your marriage has to be real and not a game. It has to be a 24/7 part of your relationship. 24/7 is the foundation; it is what changes men for the positive because they shouldn't have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is one of the areas that the goddess, lady, mistress, keyholder or whatever you prefer to be known as must have absolute control of. Although the woman remains in control it is very important to remember that you and he are still a couple in a relationship, he is still your husband and that shouldn't be forgotten, your relationship only changes once you close the bedroom door. Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. Your dominance should not interfere in other areas though you will find he will react differently, often positively, as his feelings and emotions change.
All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn't seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you. Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you're happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.
How to do it, that is an extremely important decision. Developing the correct plan, one that would work for my husband, was the most detailed part of the research process. By taking the advice of many other women, I was able to put a well informed plan together that I was confident that would be successful. I followed this plan from day one and still, do to this day. I have found it works. At least a dozen other ladies have also utilized variations on this plan successfully. We must always remember that sexually we are always in command and that first and foremost we will always be sexually satisfied. This is the cornerstone to happiness for both you and him. Keeping you sexually satisfied is your husband's job. Mark does so anywhere and anytime I say and by any means that I demand. His not being able to experience the pleasure of an orgasm only means that I experience many more than ever before.
You may think that this works only to your advantage and that is a common misconception. It is just as advantageous for him. He must keep you satisfied to eventually get his release and every time he satisfies you he is happy because he has made you happy. It is important to instill to him that his primary means of sexual gratification will be through yours. Eventually every time you experience an orgasm he will have a sense of sexual satisfaction. How you will accomplish this I will explain in a moment. What could be better, your being pleasured any way you like and experiencing wonderful sensations. He can not have an orgasm but he feels satisfied because you are and he will maintain a high libido. Although you're still equals outside of the home you are the queen of the bedroom. Except on especially cold nights, I insist Mark sleep naked. To enforce that you do have a certain amount of control it is important that he is forced to do and maintain a change in his appearance, something between you and he. This must be something that would be embarrassing for him when out in the general public so it should be concealed. Generally something under his clothes; replacing his underwear with ladies panties or requiring him to wear a girdle if he is overweight are popular examples. Some of the women think that a man's feet are best, easily covered or uncovered based on your orders and modifications could be removed when you feel it is necessary and reapplied when the time is suitable. In my case, Mark wears a gold ankle bracelet and I paint his nails with clear polish. With the exception of work and exercise he must wear whatever footwear I designate. High heels are a particular favorite since he likes these on me and he looks so funny when he tries to walk in them. I find this does absolutely nothing for me sexually but it re-enforces to him the fact that I am in control.
Achieving your desired results is easier than you might think. It is an empowering experience. Depending on your situation there will be differences but there are parameters that should be followed to achieve the greatest results. The most important step is always the first one. This is where he is made to understand that you control his sexual pleasure from this point forward. Most of the women I have talked with agree that it is best to lay out the terms of your new relationship with him in the strongest possible terms. Some favor a written contract, which I followed, so there is no room for confusion. My terms and the consensus advice from those women I talked with are that he agrees to having his penis locked in a chastity device of your choosing, that you alone have the power to grant him an orgasm and that you may decide never to allow him to have another one, that he agrees perform all services, domestic and sexual, that you request, that he agrees to being disciplined in any way you deem appropriate, and that because he is locked in a chastity device that you may need to find other people to meet some of your sexual needs. Anything less than these terms and he has not admitted that he has to give up total control of both his sexuality and yours to you.
Your having other sexual partners is a controversial issue. A couple of the women I communicated with had long had other partners in addition to their locked up hubby. A couple of bisexual women had female partners but only their hubby on the male side --- a nice arrangement if your proclivities run in that direction. A few of the women have had a fling or two and maybe their agreement with their husband made them more comfortable doing this. Most of the women I talked with, though, did not carry on with other sexual partners because once their hubbies were locked up they were getting all the sex and attention they could ever want. Some of them do tease their husbands about the possibility of seeing other men. Two of the women I talked with volunteered that if things had kept going like they had been in their marriages they would have sought out another man, meaning hubby's chastity stopped an affair.
It is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity for their male that initial enforcement of chastity should be at least three months of continuous wear without relief after you go through the break in period of getting a device that fits. Preventing him from having an orgasm for three month period may seem a bit harsh but it is paramount to your success as it allows his body and mind to adjust to the lack of masturbation and sexual pleasure as desired. Enforcing the first three month period will allow him to get in to the proper frame of mind and make him understand your desire and your commitment and your determination to his being chaste; it will also give you the chance to develop the strength to say "no". He should be made aware of the time frame immediately upon his being secured in his device, this allows for a clear understanding of the initial commitment of time. If he is at all uncooperative during this first three months, you should add additional time to his lock up. I gave Mark a one week extension as a warning about whining about getting out and a one month extension the second time he more bluntly told me he needed out. After that there were no more incidents but I was seriously considering three months for the next offense. I tend to agree with the more experienced women that I talked with that you can not be too strict with respect to the initial lockup period if you want to achieve the triple goals of getting yourself past feeling that it is your duty to give him orgasms, getting him focused on his new role of pleasing you, and your becoming comfortable with being in charge. If you haven't achieved these goals then lengthen the time. In retrospect, I think that I came down hard on Mark and added the extra month because I felt myself falling into the trap of feeling that I had to let him have an orgasm since I saw him so frustrated by the chastity device. I am glad that I did. When I finally let him out it was on my terms.
After three months of being locked up your hubby would be willing to do almost anything for a release. Rather than pleasuring himself when he wants, he will become dedicated to pleasuring you when you want it and how you want it. You too also need to explore how make his chastity work best for you. I was counting the days until I could have intercourse with Mark again. You will start to experiment and think about how to train him to pleasure you without worrying about his having an orgasm. When you can do this it will have change the dynamic of your relationship in a way that set you and him on the path to long term happiness.
Upon completing his initial confinement period I assure you that you can give him an experience like he has never had before, this is a reward for the couple. You will have a sense of strength for enforcing it and him for getting thru it. You should make his orgasm a slow drawn out one with lots of teasing. It will be all too easy for him to cum very quickly. You may need to tie him down to keep him on edge but when you finally do let him cum it will be almost too much for his body to handle. Once you allow him his first release it is entirely up to you how many sexual experiences you allow, how they occur and how the ejaculate is disposed. Most of the wives I talked to agreed that feeding their husband his ejaculate was a strong display of their control over his sexuality.
A very important step during any release period is to ensure that you will get him right back in to his device. Some of the women do this by always tying him down before the device is removed. While this has its old school charms, there are lots of other options. Locking his hands behind his back in a pair of handcuffs is a quick way to keep him from grabbing his penis if you are teasing him. I also have a waist belt with a pair of leather cuffs attached which is easy and fun to use. You can get something similar for cuffing his hands to his thighs. A wonderful device called a Humbler works well if you want him to have use of his hands to pleasure you. If all you are doing is inspecting penis and making sure the device is cleaned then I just put the handcuffs on one of his wrists or ankles prior to removing his device. Before the cuff comes off he has to be secured back in his chastity tube. I am confident that he would not be willing to go to work with the dangling cuff. Several of the other women have tried this trick and found it works well. The less that you have to worry about his arguing that the device doesn't have to immediately go back on the more likely you are to take it off frequently which promotes both teasing and keeping the tube and his penis clean.
There were a number of different views about how often a male should be allowed to cum after the initial denial period. Some of the women with younger males let theirs have an orgasm about once a week. I suspect that they were masturbating a couple times a day before this so that once a week is a big reduction. Most of the women I talked to though thought that it was best to strike a balance between keeping them completely denied and giving them some hope of gaining a release. You will need to experiment and ultimately you will need to do what works best for you, recognizing that the less often for him the better. The most common belief was that it was not good to allow their male to achieve an orgasm more than once per month but most thought that his orgasm should not very often be withheld for more than three months unless there was a good reason for doing so. Several women who I have become friendly with though believe that once a year is the right number. Some of the women liked to think about how often hubby could have an orgasm as a small fraction of the number of orgasms they had. A hundred to one ratio was popular but you can pick the number to suit your needs and gets the time between releases just about right. This approach gives him a strong incentive to initiate sex. I suspect that Mark would be unbearable and unstoppable if this was the rule but you know yourself and your hubby and can always experiment.
Some of the other women like to set goals for their hubbies where they be allowed an orgasm earlier than scheduled if a big goal was met. One of the women I talked with wanted her husband to lose 40 pounds. After he completed the initial three month lock up, he was given a mind blowing orgasm that seemed to make all worthwhile to him. She brought him back down to earth by telling him that their relationship was so much better with him locked in his chastity tube that he would now get out only once a year for a release. She then told that she would let him out early one time during the year for each ten pounds that he lost and that for each five pounds he gained he would get three months added on to his lockup. She was thrilled with the results. He got fifty pounds off during the year and got five extra orgasms. Now, he is right where she wants him, fifty pounds lighter and locked on a one year interval with the threat that it will be over two years if he gains back even half the weight he lost.
Males who had cheated with other women rather than by being chronic masturbators usually got very harsher treatment meted out by their wives. The other wives are quick to talk a newcomer out of any thought of leniency for her husband if he had sex with another woman. Several of these males are locked up permanently in some very mean devices with no chance of release ever as a condition of not being divorced. I have told Mark that he is lucky that he is locked up and cannot stray because I now know what can be done to an adulterous husband to make him suffer evermore. He knows he would get the full treatment and then some.
I personally have found that a good baseline is to not allow double digit releases, meaning less than ten per year. You may find that you allow him to be released monthly and then decide that you would enjoy making him go for a longer period. It is alright to suddenly increase the time. He might ask why and you simply need to tell him "because I am in control of your sexual abilities and I enjoy denying you, the longer I deny you the more you become frustratingly horny and thus I feel a sense of satisfaction". Right now I am following the advice of several of the women I am friends with to have Mark go an entire year without an orgasm just to see how hard I can push him and how well he can handle it. We are eight months into it now and it has been wonderful. I have really stepped up the teasing and managing Mark takes more time and discipline. The payoff is that I have had more great sex than I have ever had and Mark has become sweeter and more devoted to trying to please me than I ever thought possible. He has done this without any whining since I told him that I would happily add on another year if he did.
The most common question women new to chastity ask is what type of device to put him in. The consensus advice, which now unfortunately now with too much experience I have to concur, is to prepare yourself for some frustrating trial and error to find the right device and the right fit. There is no right device for all males. It is a bit like finding the perfect pair of shoes. The chastity device needs to be custom fit. It has to be comfortable if he is going to live with it on 24/7 and it has to be completely secure and effective if you are going to be happy with it. There are two basic types of devices, chastity tubes and chastity belts. The chastity tubes usually have the tube attached to a ring that goes over his cock and behind his balls. The belts go around the waist. They also have a tube which is attached to the front shield part that forces the penis straight downward. With a narrow tube, a good belt is very effective at preventing erections. Some of belts come with attachment points so you can hook a dildo to the front shield for you to use or to insert a dildo into his anus. The main drawback with the chastity belts is that they are expensive, bulky and much less comfortable than the tube devices for many men to wear. They also need to be sent back for waist adjustments if his waist size goes up and down. Most of the women I have talked with use tube type devices but there are some women with custom made belts by Neosteel (neosteel.de) that love them. I have two chastity tube devices from Mistress Lori (http://www.chastitytube.com), a woman on a mission to put an end to male erections, masturbation, and cheating. I have her number 7 which is a short straight steel tube which has a ring that goes behind the balls for normal use, and an acrylic number 14, which I use on Mark when he travels and has to go through metal detectors.
Another thing you need in a chastity device is to get him in the smallest tube his penis will fit in while soft so he can not get an erection in the device. Males who are what is known as growers, their penis get much larger when excited, are much harder to fit than those who are showers, those whose penis gets hard but not much larger. If you get the tube too small his penis will get fluid retention which is called edema but otherwise, smaller is better. You want him completely dependent on you for getting an erection and a smaller tube will actually be more comfortable after he has adjusted to it. A loose tube can also allow enough growth from an erection that with sliding the tube up and down or using a vibrator on it some males can successfully masturbate.
The last thing is that the device needs to prevent him from rubbing his penis particularly the head. Many males if they can rub the head can cum although it is a pretty frustrating orgasm almost akin to milking and hence not much to worry about except that you want him completely under your control. Chastity belts work best on this account since they completely deny access to the penis.
From time to time you might find it necessary to punish him for what ever reason, he might refuse to provide you with sexual pleasure as instructed or he spoke to you in a negative and degrading way; there are certainly many possible infractions. An effective punishment is to increase his time of confinement; this should always be done in at least a week increment but you will probably find that additions of two weeks or a month will be more effective unless you like having him continually testing you which I don't. As an example let's say he was tired or in a bad mood and failed to enthusiastically provide oral sex to you one evening. If this happens it is imperative that you do what he would not. Masturbate yourself to as many orgasms as you like, he may then attempt to provide for you but you must not allow him to. After you have satisfied yourself let him know that his refusal requires that he be punished and that you have decided that an additional month will be added to the time that is already required. If he gives you any argument, add two or three months to his lock up time. You could also be creative by locking him up for one month for every time you orgasm and really go to town.
Prostate milking is a necessity if your male is locked up for over a month otherwise his prostate can get clogged up and his chance of getting prostate cancer increased. Milking causes a release of seminal fluid which clears out the prostrate but provides none of the satisfaction of an orgasm. Prostate milking is a wonderful thing to do and it is hard to over do. The semen drooling out will reduce the male's testosterone level though so he will be more mellow and docile after the milking. If you think that he is getting testy just put him on the milking stand and pump it out. Milking is a great way of reinforcing your complete control over his sexuality. Milking also helps to prevent nocturnal or spontaneous orgasms which can happen if he is locked up long enough without being milked or allowed to cum. You can look at prostate milking as a necessary procedure, a form of punishment or just fun. As long as there's no urine mixed with Mark's semen, which happens sometimes, then he “recycles” everything that is milked out.
There are a number of ways to do it and milking is psychological more effective if done with the chastity device on. Some of the women use a rubber glove or anal probe specially designed for the purpose. This works but is slow and tedious. Using a strap-on, also called pegging, and taking your man anally also works well if you go at it long enough and figure how to stimulate his prostrate. There are two models, the feeldoe and nexus that were designed by women that will give you great stimulation while allowing you to take him anally. The Tickleberry and Good Vibration's http://www.goodvibes.com/main.jhtml websites are good places to look. This is a favorite of many of the women I have talked with. They find it most amusing to orgasm themselves while forcing the semen to drool out of hubby's chastity device with each in-and-out thrust. I give it a go every so often particularly when I want to remind Mark that I control every part of his body, not just his penis.
The milking session usually lasts between 10 - 20 minutes, and is a pleasurable gentle massage of the prostate, after about 10 minutes hubby will begin to release fluid which Mark says has a sensation similar to slow urinating. After continued massage the fluid flows out freely, and can be collected as it drops in a cup or saucer for hubby's consumption. There are good milking manuals online. One is here http://malechastitytrainingforcouples.t ... ing-manual
I don't limit pegging Mark to just milking though, it can also be useful for keeping him humble, or anytime I wish for my own pleasure! A couple's relationship dynamics will change a bit once he's underneath you and you take him anally with a strap-on. Mark is more submissive, more sensitive to my needs, wishes and whims.
One you begin pegging your hubby, it is important that you take him regularly during the first months of strap-on training, in my opinion, 2-3 times a week. While he's getting used to have something inside his ass make him use a butt-plug as well. Daily wear of the plug will make it easier for his anus to accept your strap-on.
What you are doing is changing his pleasure area. He will have to learn to transfer all the pleasure he thinks he has only in his genitals, to his anus. After a while, you will make anal pleasure a primary way for him to get sexual satisfaction. And in exchange of the pleasure he will get from your strap-on, he will feel the need to give you all the pleasure you may want, and will do anything to make you happy. He will be “programmed” to satisfy you.
With Mark I did this in such a way that he never knew when I would do it: before he fell asleep, or early in the morning, before he left for work, after work, even in the middle of the night, and most of all, each time I felt like it! His body must get used to the new sensations. Take your time in order to stimulate his prostate when you are milking him, it will be very pleasant for him, even if also incredibly humbling. Any resistance, mental or physical, will diminish over time.
When he receives your strap-on regularly, his body and mind adjust to the new situation, and he experiences some physical and psychological changes. Fucking him turns into a “normal” experience. This happens because you succeeded to change is erogenous zone, by ignoring and caging his penis and by constantly stimulating his prostate through his anus, your hubby will associate anal penetration with your pleasure and orgasms.
Sharing his situation with your girlfriends is an effective treatment for keeping him humble and more docile. Every wife I have talked with has shared their husbands chastity with at least one friend. Some take the step of allowing a girlfriend to share in keyholder duties. Many have gone the extra step of showing their hubby's tube, locked in place, to a girlfriend, either to introduce and encourage chastity, or to chastise or humble him. Mark is polite, helpful and quiet around each of the handful of my friends who know about our arrangement, and all of them are allowed to inspect his predicament up close and personal on request.
Different from failing to do something is a sort of agitation that many males including mine sometimes get when they are in chastity as a result of their sexual frustration. Most of the time this finds a positive outlet in terms of showering you with attention, but sometimes your hubby will just need to be toned down. Good old fashion discipline in the form of corporal punishment – spanking, is what many of us have found works well. Almost all the women I have talked with know their husbands are submissive to them but they are not wimps. In other parts of their life they tend to be dominant A-personalities types who exert lots of authority and are often high strung. Many have masochist tendencies as well.
I use to think that disciplining my hubby was a chore. Now when I beat him long and hard, though, he sometimes just melts under my cane and breaks down and cries. Afterward, I hold him tight in my arms for a long time and then have him go down on me. The feeling I get is hard to describe. It is almost magical. I now feel sorry that most wives will never experience moments of this intense closeness with their husband.
Since most wives insist hubby keep his genitals shaved smooth, taking him for a brazilian wax is a way to both humble and disciple him.
You can beat them yourself or it is easy to find a professional dominatrix who will do it for you. If you decided on the latter option, pro-doms are easy to find in most major cities and advertise openly on the internet. Look for a no-nonsense disciplinarian type rather than a sensuous or man hating type.
There are times when Mark does something that really makes me mad. When he does I send him to a great pro-dom I found. She usually starts with milking him, because when this happens he always gets at least a month added to his lock up. She really works over and he is always on his best behavior for quite a while after he comes back. I recommend this strategy for any woman who wants to separate out the loving discipline that their husband occasionally needs from them and the serious punishment he sometimes richly deserves, which can be contracted out to a merciless third party.
The disciplinarian types almost all believe that all married men should be locked up in chastity devices and know that if they deliver a well whipped hubby back to you that they will have a long term client. This has become an increasing part of their business as the number of chastity devices sold increases since some wives no longer fear that the dominatrix would have sex with their husband if he is sent to be disciplined locked up. This is probably the last thing you need to worry about though since the last thing a well established pro-dom wants to do is have sex with a client.
A professional dominatrix is also usually happy to milk hubby if you don't want to and corporal punishment administered after a milking is more effective.
If you think you might be tempted to let your hubby out early have the pro-dom hold the keys until the anniversary of his lockup and tell her to talk you out of earlier relief when you have those thoughts. You can always pick up the key from her for a scheduled teasing or inspection. You can also send him to the pro-dom to have his tube and penis inspected if he complains that he is having problems with his tube. Having her administer severe punishment if the request is not justified should nip this type of behavior in the bud before it gets started.
You can also have a girlfriend you trust hold the keys. If you think a little extra humbling would do him some good, send him over to clean her house and let her increase his lockup time for less than perfect work. If you keep the key, keep it close at all times. There might be an emergency, but you want hubby to know you have the key and the control. A long necklace will keep it between your breasts. For me, a belly chain leaves it dangling a lot lower - an added pleasure! Bracelets and anklets are popular too, but you're more likely to get questions from friends or co-workers if the key is visible.
There may be times where you feel you have to unlock him to use his penis. Fortunately, there is a way to do this without letting him orgasm by using elamax numbing creme and a several condoms. This usually works but there is always a small risk that he will cum especially if he has been locked for a long time. There are also a number double sided penis gags that you can use to ride his face and there is even a dildo you can strap around his thigh. The most fiendish devices are those that fit over his penis. Lori sells a dildo sleeve that fits over her tubes. He will be a wreck as there is no way the Lori's tube will let him get erect but his mind and body will just keep on trying. Somewhat better for your pleasure is a new device called Her Delight from the keptforher.com company that makes an insert to help prevent males from pulling out of their CB3000. This device uses the CB3000 teste ring to anchor a dildo that slides over hubby's penis.This dildo is harder than Lori's sleeve, but not too hard. Although he can get reasonably hard in it, he will get very little in the way of stimulation that might lead to an orgasm. You on the other hand can keep at it as long you want with no worries that he will cum at all, much less too soon. His chastity tube itself does not have quite the right shape so it is not the most comfortable ride for you, but if you really want to get to him on the tease side it is hard to beat.
Every so often I and many of the women I have talked with want the real thing. To make these rare opportunities for him to have intercourse with you work for both of you, you need to recognize that after being locked up for a long time he will cum with a hair trigger. He is also unlikely to get as large as he did before long term chastity unless you take him out of the tube and get him hard on a frequent basis, which is what I do with Mark. You can avoid disappointment if you stimulate him to orgasm in some way other than intercourse when you first let him out of the tube. After he cums give him a Viagra and wait an hour or so before you use him for up. It is good for about three hours or you can give him a Cialis if you want to do an all day thing. Once he has cum the first time and recovered by the time the erection drug takes effect, he will not orgasm nearly as easily and either of the two drugs will get and keep him really hard even if he has another orgasm. Some of the women use their hubbies for intercourse for several days in a row treating the whole event as a single release period before they lock him back up for a prolonged duration. When I'm using Mark's penis for my pleasure instead of his mouth, I always fill his mouth with a pair of my panties to keep his mind on what his mouth is for, finally removing them so he can clean me up after sex.
The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself. The two can be one and the same thing. Having him perform cunnalingus on you while locked up is almost guaranteed to drive to the edge. Fortunately, for you the chastity device will keep him from going over. Just think the more sex you get without letting him cum the more he wants you. If more women knew this secret there would be a lot more locked up husbands and boyfriends.
Remember you have all the time in the world to train him to do the way you want without any need to worry about getting him off. Once locked all he does is fantasize about you. You will need to decide if you want to be the one that initiates sex or whether you want him to. My usual rule with Mark is that I will tell him when and how I want to be pleasured and he is expected to drop everything when this happens. This is clearly a control issue for me but your tastes may differ. The bliss point is when you get your hubby to the place he gets pleasure purely from your pleasure without thinking about his cock. Mark is not quite there yet but he is getting there.
There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him. There is the classic tie him down to the bed, take off the tube and work over his cock for hours. Every time you feel him close to an orgasm stop and straddle his face and have one or more yourself. Stay with it as long as you can and you will leave him a marshmallow. You may find that you have to ice down is penis to get back in the tube. Dress up in the way that drives him crazy and stand him at attention nude in his chastity tube while you softly stroke him all over except for ignoring his cock. He will struggle to stand tall as his cock struggles to grow in the chastity tube. Every woman needs to develop her own style. You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a lot of work but he will shower you with attention.
During the day and evening, give his chastity device a quick squeeze when you're at home, in the car, or a semi-private place like an elevator. In public brush up against him in a less noticable way, but one that he'll unmistakably feel. Show him the key, whisper how turned on you are. Give him a strip tease or masturbate in front of him. Mark likes to know I'm thinking about his chastity too, and teasing is one way to show it.
While it is hard to do too much physical teasing, conversation, by far, plays the bigger part. It takes very little energy and allows you to increase his frustration without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has done to become a better spouse, partner, friend and lover. Let him know how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle thru sexual frustration entertains you let him know. Maybe you enjoy his not being able to touch himself, whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all of those things that use to drive you crazy like porn and ogling pretty young things can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that the chastity tube is really biting as his favorite eye candy passes by. The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is always working for you. It stimulates him at the first sign of arousal and then quickly constraining the budding erection. You should never miss an opportunity to point things that might arouse him. I like watching adult films made with women in mind and reading erotica out loud with Mark, both keep him constantly on edge.
It is understandable that there may be days that you want to ignore his situation. It is alright to not care that all the time that he is not no longer in control of his manhood and you can let him know that you don't. Still you should not let this go more than a few days without making positive comments about his being locked up for you. The main thing if you are going to lock him up is that you need to make a commitment to yourself and him to make this work. I have told women who were thinking about chastity that if they were not willing to take control of the teasing, discipline and the frequency with which they had sex and the effort this entails that they might be better off in their old relationship where he ignored you and you ignored him. There is a way to get what you want but it will not happen by itself. He cannot change himself, but a chastity device and a lot of hard work on your part can mold him into the husband you have always dreamed about.
If he doesn't already, he will want to worship you after you have locked him up for a while. This initially bothered some of the women I talked with who felt their hubby's new found attention to be artificial. It is driven partially by his newly increased testosterone level but that is what also drove his courting of you. Most often he has agreed to being locked up because he desperately wants to want you that badly again. You need to reciprocate by demanding that he worship you as a goddess but you also need to figure out how to channel his attention in directions that are good and work for you. Those may be very different from his ideas of how he should worship you, but this is an area where your desires come first and you need to maintain strict control if you are going to be happy with the chastity arrangement.
As the endeavor in to chastity continues you will be able to add ideas and musings to your relationship that you find works well. Remembering the basic principles of how to keep your hubby under your spell will let you, and him, discover chastity's amazing rewards. Always maintain the upper hand, do those things to show both you and him that your requests are nothing less than a requirement for him.
Whether this is something that he initiated, the two of you mutually agreed upon or something that you requested from him -- one thing is a necessity, there needs to be something for him to gain. He is giving up something that is a very important part of a male's life, his sexual abilities -- and for that you need to realize that he should be rewarded as you will be, but obviously in a much different way. You know the things that he likes, that arouse him and put a smile on his face. Often times we find that these are things that really do not interest us but considering the sacrifice that he is making you too can make sacrifices. Once I saw the lengths he was willing to go to please me, I willingly and lovingly offered Mark my rear end, something that was previously off limts. Like marriage, chastity needs mutual rewards and often you will find those things that you reward him with will lead to an increase in his being aroused and enhancing his over all demeanor. It could be giving massages or trying sexual things that he likes but you never desired to try. You know how to dress to turn him on and you need to find out his fetishes if you don't know them already and indulge them. All of this will heighten his happiness and arousal. He is making a substantial change in his lifestyle and you too may need to make some major adjustments so that he feels things are fair.
The combination of chastity, corporal punishment and pegging will make your man a new creature, unselfish and kind. He will soon understand that he does not control anything _not even his penis_ he will not be able to have something as private as an erection without your consent. He will realize he can’t have what he wants, when he wants it, without your approval.
You will never want to let things revert back to his self "lack of" control again. Believe me, the routine is effective and over the long term you'll not regret it even though at times it seems like a lot of work. I think some of the husbands would given a choice go back to their old ways, but none of the wives would. I think that deep down the men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his. I know the wives, who stuck it out through the trials and tribulations of finding a chastity device that worked and figuring out how change their mindset from a need to give him orgasms to one of deserving all the orgasms they could ever want, are all much happier.
Re: first time denial...
A PERFECT post Marksmistress! a TURN ON to read and close enough to my marriage that it could have been written by me.
One of my favorite activities is to put my husband on his back and climb on top in the 69 position. His Birdlocked chastity device takes his balls that would other wise hang together loosly and makes them taut and spread to the sides. they are constantly stimulated and keep him dripping all day!
I gently caress and lick those full aching balls while he licks my (VERY clean, I don't want him to get sick) asshole. It is a PHENOMANOL feeling for me and serves the purpose of both teasing him while humbling him at the same time. I cannot think of a bettter way to take charge...it is the PERFECT activity for a man in chastity and his keyholder!!
One of my favorite activities is to put my husband on his back and climb on top in the 69 position. His Birdlocked chastity device takes his balls that would other wise hang together loosly and makes them taut and spread to the sides. they are constantly stimulated and keep him dripping all day!
I gently caress and lick those full aching balls while he licks my (VERY clean, I don't want him to get sick) asshole. It is a PHENOMANOL feeling for me and serves the purpose of both teasing him while humbling him at the same time. I cannot think of a bettter way to take charge...it is the PERFECT activity for a man in chastity and his keyholder!!
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Shattered
- Experimentor
- Posts: 1394
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:41 pm
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- Location: United Kingdom
Re: first time denial...
Your post is highly appreciated MarksMistress. You should probably save it and post it in a few places, was a good read.
Salutations, Stranger.
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Try my teases on Milovana!