Breaking Point part 3: A Friendly Tease-FEEDBACK

[sherlockbones]

Hey everybody. I'm gonna open myself to some critiques of my Breaking Point teases. I released Part 3 today after a long hiatus. Let me know what you think. Thanks

[Trusfrated]

Personally, I love the series. I'm glad you've continued it.

Lyla is such a bitch, but I love her too!

Now that she's actually seen him masturbating in front of her, I think all bets are off. She's going to be especially teasing and cruel now. I like the virgin humiliation, too. I think it would be great if down the road, she sabotages his attempt at losing it (if he ever gets his life back on track and meets another girl to take his mind off of Lyla).

Actually, my fantasy with her would be that, now that we're "friends," she would pretend to pity him and offer to give him a "charity fuck." ("Don't tell your father.") But of course it would all be a big setup and right before the moment of penetration she calls it off. Lyla would lie to his father about it and frame him for attempted rape (or just being a perv), causing his father to kick him out of the house or something.

Of course it's your story and that was just the first thing that came to mind. I can't wait to see where you take the next chapter! You're a great writer and I really like your style.

[waiting]

Personally, I'm surprised at the lower ratings that the tease has been getting. I think it is my favorite series on the site. Sure, it's not as epic as some of the higher ranked ones, but it's a lot more plausible in my opinion. I love some of cactusman's or 1885's teases, and both of those teasemakers are doing work infinitely better than what I would. But I never feel like those teases could actually happen. Breaking point, on the other hand, I can see happening, and that makes it incredible in my book. Lyla didn't strip down on page three; she didn't have the reader in a belt by page 6; it's only at the end of tease three that she finally controls his cock.

My feedback would just be to keep doing what you are doing. A slow, teasing buildup to the "breakdown." You're doing great.

[kevan1957]

Hello to YOU!

The series is fantastic and you have chosen a great model to play Lyla. I wonder if you have contacted the model for some of her input to your story, i.e. her fantasties. The story is great and is very much worth waiting for.

Sincerely yours,

Kevan.

[kevan1957]

Hello to YOU!

The series is fantastic and you have chosen a great model to play Lyla. I wonder if you have contacted the model for some of her input to your story, i.e. her fantasies. The story is great and is very much worth waiting for.

Sincerely yours,

Kevan.

[kevan1957]

Hello to YOU!

Could you tell me who the model is that you have chosen to play Lyla? Thank you.

Sincerely yours,

Kevan.

[kevan1957]

Hello to YOU!

After a little research, the model's name is Karlie Montana. You have many, many, many wonderful photos to use to complete your stories. Again, I look forward to your next offering.

Sincerely yours,

Kevan.

[Trusfrated]

I had the same question as you, kevan1957. I had fun looking through Karlie's Twitter photos and Vine videos. She's a real vixen!

Here's a sampling of some of the racier ones:

http://seenive.com/v/980487085016686592

http://seenive.com/v/994132189061025792

http://seenive.com/v/994138098562666496

http://seenive.com/v/994780549267034112

http://seenive.com/v/974527391605358592

http://seenive.com/v/973416293694889984

http://seenive.com/v/974526896685875200

http://seenive.com/v/969787714528501760

http://seenive.com/v/969489304462225408

http://seenive.com/v/966477089526132736

http://seenive.com/v/963923413477494784

http://seenive.com/v/960674356672008192

http://seenive.com/v/959024424961605632

http://seenive.com/v/951677146890432512

http://seenive.com/v/947614999839428608


Sorry, there's more but I better stop.

[sherlockbones]

Yeah, she's really hot. I got a ton of pics left so i will probably do 4 or 5 more parts. Im sure the ratings would be better if I broke down the 4th wall and told the reader to insert something in his asshole, but that's not my style.

[hornbound]

I'm also surprised this tease is not rated at 4 stars or better. It's been weeks since I last looked at Milovana, which meant I had several pages of new teases to browse. This is the only one that did much for me. Like the poster above said I like how the situation is plausible, and how the plot focuses on actual TEASING instead of jumping quickly to things that are better described as domination or bondage.

I could do without the "I'm so fat and pathetic" theme, probly cause it doesn't apply to my body, but all around this is a great tease and I for one gave it 5 stars!

[kawasaki650]

Hi
Just wanted to let you know that the Breaking Point series is excellent. I am also surprised that they are not rated higher. Very very good story line which as has been mentioned really focuses on teasing. Does it for me every time!

Good to know your continuing with the tease as I thought you had abandoned the idea.

Thanks and I look forward to the next installment.