How do you deal with an attention whore?

Sett · Post by **Sett** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:23 am

I'll put that question in context later, but for now i'd like it to be answered as it is... So, how?

Post by **Banquo** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:29 am

You would thinking ignoring them would work, but it won't this person has a need for your attention, if you value them, give them positive attention for positive behaviour.

Nezhul · Post by **Nezhul** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:46 pm

what do you meen by that? Is it some kind of girls who always need a lot of attention? I guess you either live with it and provide them the needed attention, or try to distance yourself from people like that entirely.

Atmon · Post by **Atmon** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:57 pm

Buy her a teddy bear.

Sett · Post by **Sett** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 4:35 pm

We're talking about my girlfriend of course.

She goes to school in my town now, so she moved in with me (hey, why not?). But:
She's an only child and it's basically her first time away from parents.
I love being with her and all, but before her i was a lonely man, and seeing other people once a week was completely acceptable for me. I mean is it that selfish of me to want some time for myself every once in a while? How do i tell her "i want to be alone right now" without her translating it into: "i don't want to be with you any more"? (Notice the difference...).

Incubo · Post by **Incubo** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:25 pm

Well, now that you've put it into context for us...my advice is:

Talk to her.
Obviously she has one expectation and you have another. Problems like that never go away by themselves and if you sit idle and hope they do, one or the other of you will start hating the other one.

Just explain it to her as best you can. Otherwise, she's likely to start thinking that it's something about her. Which of course will only make matters worse if you don't address it now.

les · Post by **les** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:33 pm

Do you think she is trying too hard to be very nice?

Well what is it you want to do when you are on your own?

Are you at school or ??

Nezhul · Post by **Nezhul** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:01 am

Only thing you can do, is simply talk to her. And explain her that as everyone needs sleep, some people need to be alone from time to time.

Again, that's actually a hard thing to advice something as I don't know the extent of her needing attention and you needing rest. If you need to be alone for like 5-6 hours a week that's fine. If you need 10-20 hours a week to be alone (i.e. Every day you need a few hours alone + work, and you leave her very short time to be with you) - the problem is in you. It's natural for a young girl to require attention and want to be with her guy all the time possible. It's good for girls to be spoiled. You either can take this particular girl or you can't.

Also, how much time do you live together? I'm sure that after a few weeks she'll get less annoying to you.
And another thing - I believe that a good partner is the one you don't need to rest from. A good partner is the one who's company is as relaxing to you as being alone, or even MORE relaxing. Think about it.

someone43 · Post by **someone43** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 9:22 am

Good girls get spanked, bad girls get sent home.

les · Post by **les** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:24 pm

Is she a lodger or are you sharing a bed?

Sit down and write a pros and cons list
then you can see what needs changing or adapting.

But whatever happens do not let it fester.

You can pm me if you want

My persona as Uncle Les has helped many milovanians.

LittleElfBoy · Post by **LittleElfBoy** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:33 pm

Go 4chan:

Tits or GTFO

FicklePickleTickle · Post by **FicklePickleTickle** » Mon Jan 14, 2013 2:39 am

Sit down with her and be firm about it. Seriously. Just tell her the positive things that you feel/like about her, and tell her that you also need some peace and quiet as well.

Most likely she's not one of those people who do need quiet time, from what you've described, so you're going to have to make it understood that there are times that she needs to give you that for yourself, even if she doesn't need it for herself.

Not being firm with her is going to cause her to push the boundaries. She needs that constant attention and will try to get it all of the time unless you tell her that it's not acceptable.

Reinforce the positive things, but make sure that she understands that she can't hang on you 24/7 either. There has to be a middle ground between what she think she needs and what you need.

Sett · Post by **Sett** » Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:20 pm

Thanks guys, you've helped a lot. Well, most of you

Guess i know what i have to do

How do you deal with an attention whore?

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