An Open Letter to the Milovana Community

submatt · Post by **submatt** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:18 am

Hello. You all know me as the guy who writes lots of teases. I wanted to let folks know why I won't be around anymore. And this is meant not to be preachy, but just as an explanation.

I have a problem. I look at pornography compulsively. For me, it is an addiction, just as much as some folks are addicted to alcohol or smoking. And it's not healthy. For me. I spend so much time looking at porn and pleasuring myself (which is how I've done so many teases!), that other parts of my life suffer. I should be working on a screenplay instead of writing teases. I should be out with friends instead of holing up in front of the computer.

So, I'm going to take another stab at quitting. Several years ago I found a group called Sexaholics Anonymous, and with their help I was able to quit for a year. And I've started attending again.

I'm also writing this to let you know why my teases are disappearing. I'm taking them down. Perhaps some of you can enjoy pornography without it being habit forming. I cannot. And I suspect many others cannot either. And it bothers me and makes me feel creepy to think that I may have caused others to stumble. So I'm taking them down. My apologies to those of you who enjoy them. And my apologies to anyone they have helped to hook into the same bad patterns that I tend get sucked into.

Another reason is that I know if they're there, I'll be tempted to come back to the site and check on their ratings or see if people have commented, and I need to cut that string. It's similar to an alcoholic deciding he shouldn't hang out in a bar.

So, that's about it. Again, this is not trying to sound preachy. But I know some other folks have up and left this community without any explanation, and I didn't want to do that. And I hope you will wish me well as I try to beat my addiction.

Take care,

Matt

Tobias23 · Post by **Tobias23** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:35 am

Why is every great Artist going crazy ...

If feels like od.com going down, and the shock of loosing so much good work. If feels like a big pile of books (webteases) just burned down ... great work wasted to heat the air.

I'm sorry for you and your addiction, and i hope you'll get better. But i can't understand your reason to burn down your legacy. It's like a great Artist will be forgotten, because there is no clue left of his work, only in our memory.

Wish you well.

tobias

Kenneth · Post by **Kenneth** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:51 am

I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving. You're one of the best tease authors around here and you will definitely be missed.

I understand your point though, and I hope you succeed in whatever you wish to do. Thanks a lot for all the joy you brought to the community!

It's a shame though to remove your work.
Perhaps you could consider to allow Seraph0x to make a backup, that you can't reach and that is invisible to the public, so at least your hard work doesn't just get lost?

diddums · Post by **diddums** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:15 pm

Thanks for many very good teases. No thanks for taking them away!

I'm very skeptical about your use of the term "addiction".
I do not mean to tell you that you have no problem. But I think your understanding of it is not helped by distorted language.
If you have no access to porn., for example on holiday, do you become ill?
I assume not. I rather think you feel a bit strange because you are suddenly living somewhat differently for a while.
"Addiction", I think, means a physical reliance on something, to the extent that you *must* have it, even in the knowledge that it may/ will kill you.
Refer to the life of George Best, footballer turned alcoholic, for a prime example.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Best

I rather think you have a strong *preference* for porn. It may feel better to you than much else in life. But it's not killing you, and you can live without it.
If you want to deprive yourself of a great pleasure, go ahead. But if I were you, I'd try be a bit clearer about why.

P.S. I'd also, personally, be very wary of any 12- step program of the "XYZ Anonymous" type. These are based on the principle of replacing one habit (the XYZ) with another (attending meetings, etc). And have a highly superstitious and religious "faith" architecture of thought behind them.

P.P.S. If you just want to stop thinking about porn for a while, self- hypnosis can be useful:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnosis#Self-hypnosis
as can autogenic training
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autogenic_training

Jaberwocky · Post by **Jaberwocky** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:17 pm

It feels like an icon is leaving $:\'-($
Goodbye and goodluck submatt!

Griffyn · Post by **Griffyn** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:26 pm

I hope you get your life back into shape. But I join the other voices in hoping you'll rethink your decision to take down your teases.

Temptation will always be there, regardless of whether it's free thumbnail sites, bittorrent porn, sex chat rooms, or your audience on this site. Nobody will understand your choice to take away so much from those who appreciate you, for such a seemingly small help to your own cause.

The stronger the temptation, the stronger the person who resists it. If you tore down every possible way for you to access anything pornographic, would you have defeated your addiction?

Find the strength to moderate your access to porn. See it as going on a diet, and consuming only healthy levels. But don't burn down the deli you helped build.

Best of luck with your battle. I hope we see you again when you feel you've got yourself under control.

Crocko · Post by **Crocko** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:01 pm

Best of luck mate.

submun · Post by **submun** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:19 pm

I TO WILL MISSYOU SUBMATT,THANK'S AGAIN FOR YOUR WRITING'S, THEY ALWAY'S GOT ME CRAZY.GOOD LUCK.

Post by **dark** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:01 pm

Bad news. Of course also for the Milovana community, but I think the bigger problem is your own problem with your addiction. In the todays world addiction has a lot of faces and a lot of people are addicted to any kind of things. I always wondered how you submatt can write so much teases with so unique and creative content. Maybe an addiction could explain that, but I still miss the point why this is so bad. For me the meaning of addiction is something that damages the body psychological or physical. I never expected that sexuality can be "dangerous". I mean I heard some things about "sex addiction" or "porn addiction" but I never thought it's such a serious problem.

If you feel you have to change your lifestyle and to remove the teases helps you with that, then I am supporting that in every way. It's your life and the goal always should be to get happy and satisfied. If you think you have a problem with sex, masturbation or whatever you should try to solve the problem maybe with help from a third person.

I am not sex addicted so I can't understand your problem in detail but I believe you and I wish you all the best to manage your life in a way that you are happy with.

Good luck, mate and thanks for all your creative input.

Executive Angel · Post by **Executive Angel** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:33 pm

Submatt: Good Luck to you. I admire your strength, and thank you for your honesty. You'll always be in thoughts. Best of luck. Follow your heart.

The crazy female here..

quorr777 · Post by **quorr777** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:49 pm

I will miss your imagination and flair for erotic situations. Porn is like alcohol I think. A little is part of a healthy life. Too much is destructive.
I find it a great way to turn off stress and loose myself in a different world for a while. But I do sometimes overdo it!
All the best with your resolution, shame you have to take down your work but I can understand and respect your decision.

slavechylde · Post by **slavechylde** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:55 pm

I am really sorry that you'll be leaving. You've done some really good work, and I will hate to see it go away.

But, I understand your need to take care of yourself. I wish you only the best.

-slavechylde

Elle · Post by **Elle** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:22 pm

Matt,
That so many will miss your teases is a testimony to your writing skill and inventive mind. Your courteous exit note showed good integrity. Please do well in your future endeavors.
I've only joined recently but it is clear that you have contributed much. So for what its worth I don't think that you should feel that you owe anything more to the community. Perhaps the rest of us will rise to occasion that your absence presents.

Thanks for everything

someone43 · Post by **someone43** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:29 pm

i was just about to convert all your teases to cybermistress!! DOOOHHHHHHH!!!

Quazwierdcev283 · Post by **Quazwierdcev283** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:46 pm

Matt,
I found myself on the brink of addiction to this site myself so I can somewhat understand your plight. While I agree that losing your teases will be a great loss to this site I also think that you should do whatever you think is best. Sorry to see you go, but best of luck.