Adult Virgin - Feedback

[subhubby]

Having spotted the keywords "chastity" and "virgin" in the description of the recent tease titled "Adult Virgin", I locked the door to my office, removed my belt, lowered my pants and assumed a comfortable, semi-reclined position next to my box of Kleenex for what I only assumed would be a rousing bout of self-degradation leading to climax. Now, reflecting on the experience, I am immediately seized with a feeling of disappointment over lost opportunity.

Here you have all of the elements in place for a great tease... the rich adult virgin, the beautiful prostitute. What fertile grounds for great storytelling. And, just as the elements are in place, the story ends abruptly - as though the author's wife suddenly showed up, and he needed to turn off his computer in a hurry.

Just imagine: The prostitute uses our protagonist's virginity against him, coaxing him into ever greater sacrifices in the name of ever more elusive opportunities to experience sex. Eventually, of course, he is coaxed into wearing a chastity belt, then signing over his fortune for her safekeeping, and begins a lifetime of labor for her bemusement - destined always to remain a virgin. Maybe he is reduced to the role of "fluffer", if that's your thing.

I mean, come on... throw a dart at a storyline - you can't miss!
Alas, I am unfulfilled.

[jayjaysub]

Ditto Subhubby's comments

[the saved]

I honestly feel I have nothing to add, you covered it all there.

[prematurejac]

Hi guys, I'm really sorry nobody here liked my story. Don't I at least get some extra points for it being a true story? I don't know. I was surprised I scored a 2.9. That means either most people voted around 3, or some voted either 1 and 5. (Maybe some people really liked it.)

Truth is, I didn't really like that story either. I really thought I was finally going to get some pussy after 3 decades of involuntary celibacy, but I literally blew it with my escort. I hate being so inadequate. Now that I'm rich, the only thing keeping me from getting laid is my unusual lack of sexual stamina. Again, I am really sorry about how the story turned out. I wish I could tell you that Jessica made me a man, but I couldn't seal the deal. I'm not really throwing darts at a story board, or trying to write the best story. I'm just reporting the facts. I will try to do better next time, because I plan on finding another prostitute this weekend. After it's all said and done, I will tell you all how it went in the sequel. Hopefully I will be able to at least achieve penetration.

Oh, and subhubby, it's probably a good thing my material didn't get you off. You shouldn't be jacking off at work anyway. I fired a guy for that once.

That's all for now. Wish me luck this weekend!!!

[subhubby]

Prematurejac:

We appreciate the effort. You're better than me, if only because you've posted a story.

Now, go get 'em...