Feedback for Hello Mister Penis
Feedback for Hello Mister Penis
Just to show you what constructive criticism can do, I decided to a tease with fewer pictures and more writing. Let me know what you think.
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Marke
- Explorer At Heart
- Posts: 163
- Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 7:37 pm
- Gender: Male
- Sexual Orientation: Lesbian
- I am a: Submissive
- Location: Australia
I thought the use of the pictures was great.
Dialogue was excellent - but I think need to be broken up a bit more - by that I mean less on the page. I suppose that means slightly changing the picture for the next screen to give the feeling of movement.
The Kelly Lane pics were great, but the logo was sometimes a distraction. Maybe an up front dedication to the source and then try and remove them?
But the story line was great, the pace fantastic and the feeling of denial was heavenly.
Thank your for this tease.
Dialogue was excellent - but I think need to be broken up a bit more - by that I mean less on the page. I suppose that means slightly changing the picture for the next screen to give the feeling of movement.
The Kelly Lane pics were great, but the logo was sometimes a distraction. Maybe an up front dedication to the source and then try and remove them?
But the story line was great, the pace fantastic and the feeling of denial was heavenly.
Thank your for this tease.