FB: Young Flatmate

[MartinC]

Interested in any and all feedback on the webtease I just wrote. Thanks to all.

[androgyme]

I wouldn't really call it a tease, but I did enjoy reading it. Perhaps you could expand and use it as a basis for another tease, one with actual instructions, rather than just a story. Just a thought. Still, as I said, I liked it.

[subhubby]

MartinC,

I don't see it like Pissy-boy does. He's entitled to his opinion, of course - and he politely encourages your work. So, all respect to him...

However, my favorite "teases" are "stories" such as this one. Frankly, I find the instruction-based teases boring. Maybe it's just me, but I don't get off having a woman tell me to tie a shoelace around my balls and stick the ends up my ass while licking the floor. (There's something I don't write every day). No, I prefer a more subtle, psychological aspect to tease - the demure prodding girl that coaxes me into submission, chastity, humiliation - against my better judgment. Give me the young coed that taunts her professor into jeopardizing his career... the wife that slowly nurtures her husband's acceptance of his cuckolding... the newlywed bride that finds reason after reason to deny her desperate husband the consummation he craves.

You're a good writer. Judging by your writing (and your correct use of grammar), I'd guess that you're educated. Here you have succeeded in crafting a very sexy story. Subjectively, it fired a lot of my triggers. Objectively, it's well-written. In fact, I thought this tease was so good, I looked for others you've written (this one is the better, I feel). I tagged this as a favorite. I don't do that often.

You're talented. Now go put that creative energy toward something more productive... and hopefully return to write more here. Thanks!
SH

[real-webjunky]

like it ;)

short, no direct instructions - but got me quite excited
feeling helpless and getting horny
what else can it be if not a tease?

thanks and hoping for more
best regards,
webjunky

[joewanker]

Loved it! It was fantastic. Would love to see similar ones like this from you.

[MartinC]

Thanks a lot for the feedback, everyone, it's extremely useful.

pissy-boy, your comment was extremely illuminating. For a long time I have had the impression that there are two distinct types of readers of this site, the ones who prefer the "instruction-based" teases and the ones who prefer less direct teases. I'm one of the latter, whereas you are clearly one of the former. As you can see from some of the responses below, there are others like me.

Nothing wrong with that, plenty of room for both types, but obviously I tend to lean more toward the ones that don't have direct instructions in them. I have to admit some of those ones that start with a big list of all the toys and equipment you will need and then go on to "50 slow strokes ... then 50 with the other hand ... then 50 while patting the top of your head etc.etc." strike me as a kind of cross between a recipe and an aerobics class for the sexually dysfunctional. I find them very dull, but judging by the ratings there are people out there who disagree.

subhubby, all the scenarios you describe are ones that I enjoy too. I like the mind-games side of things much more than the instructional ones. Some of submatt's were my favourite Milovana teases, but then he withdrew them for some reason. I'm inspired more by ptathuk's captioned pics (if you haven't seen them, Google) than by any teases I think.

I'm going to try to write one tease a month from here on; it was a long break since the last one! I've got some text ready for the next one, but have to find a good set of photos to team it with. I tend to write the scenario first, then find pics to match, then tailor the text to fit the pics more exactly.

real-webjunky and joewanker, thanks for the thumbs ups, will be hopefully delivering more soon.

PS. It might surprise you all to find that Young Flatmate was actually very loosely based on a true story. Ah, memories!

[MotoMike]

MartinC: I enjoyed that tease very much. For one thing, the model was gorgeous, even for this site. And the scenario was really nice and kind of - dare I say it? - almost understated. But it was also very well-written. Please... more?