Introducing my girlfriend

[nevercum]

Hello Everebody!

It´s very nice to know that i´m not alone in this world with my kinky desires! In Milovana, I foud a place to ready and learn.

I discover T&D about 5 years ago, and when I fist read a tease I foud what I was looking for.

The first site i foud about T&D was orgasmdenial.com, but looks like they had problems with the galeries and I stop acessing the site.

I´m in a long term relation and one year ago I start to introce my g/f in T&D. The thing we most do is long hand/blowjobs were I tell her when I edging, and she stops. She says she likes to see me going crazy, but sometimes I think she is not really into T&D. Seems to me she does not get excited to be in control.

I always try to bring things that I think she will like, things that will give her pleasure and orgasms, and keep me in denial.

I recently ready the series "How to get your man crazy" and I have even sent her the link to the tease. She will probably read it today.

If anyone could give tips and advices to games and other ways to increase her interest in this I would really apreciate!!!

In time! Neither of us like the humiliation scene. We are more into playfull control and tease and denial stuff.

Congratulations for this GREAT GREAT site and thanks for the oportunity!

(i´m sorry if my english is not good, it´s not my first language)

[darkstar]

ultimatly, if she isnt thjat into it its the way it will remain. she may do it because she does like you and wants to please you.
and she may enjoy it occasinaly. and forcing the issue will possibly piss her off.


but instead of forcing what is basicaly porn at her, unless she is very open minded i find most women HATE porn and especialy there blokes looking at it, sit down and have a chat.


and find out what she wants the most, its give n take.

[Nezhul]

you should face the fact that most women are submissive, not dominant. The fact that she does it for you says a lot tho. You shouldn't worry that she's pushing herself - you have a good chance of that she enjoys giving you things that you enjoy. But you should prepare for the fact that she isn't into it. Maybe she wants to be dommed by you sometimes? Try introducing her to the other side of a coin, taking control over her sometimes. Maybe not t&d, something else. What I'm trying to say, that if it's what she needs, and you give her what she truly needs and wants, she'll be more eager in return, maybe she'll even start thinking of ways to improve her dominance.

What you really shouldn't do, is make it one-sided. As you are already into kinky stuff, it should be easy for you to suggest changing places. Try different things, discover what she likes and dislikes, and what drives her mad (in a good or bad ways). But try doing it full-heartidly. If you are going to dominate her, feel it.
Maybe my experience will help you a little. You see, I'm dominant myself. But I like it not because i like power over someone, or like being in charge. No. My motivation is something other. You see, it really turns me on thinking, of what my girl feels when I do this or that. And it really turns me on imagining me on her place, and I think a lot of how good (mentally of physically) something I do feels. Maybe this will be easyer if you have more sub in you.

Anyway, even if it's not dominance. Things work pretty simple. The more pleasure and satisfaction you get, the more you want to give in return. So if you find her kink and fulfill it (and everyone has kinks), she'll be more willing to give you what you want. The approach of concentrating on partner's pleasure has only good sides, IMO. It simply backfires you in a good way. And the more you do - the more you get.

i find most women HATE porn

that's not true. They are the same as us, men. Some are kinky, some may blow the whole place if you ask of something other than doggie style.

[nevercum]

That makes sense!

In the end, I´m the one who is taking charge. I tell her what I want and she try to do.

Yesterday I told her I want to be teased but I only what to cum in the Sunday. And that´s what´s hapening. We made love, she has cum and I didn´t. But not because she whant´s me to hold back.

Next weekend I will think off a very diferent game for us to play!

thank´s for ideia!

[nevercum]

I woul like to have some advice from the women.

I would like to know how the dommes discover T&D and what made then try it!

Thanks a lot!

[Nezhul]

by the way, a little warning. Don't be too harsh with such things. Don't dive straight into something complicated. And as you are into T&D, just try suggesting her like "want to change places from time to time?" - like you just want her to experience it. T&D that is. If she's doing it to you, she wouldn't refuse experiencing it herself. She may not like it tho (as every one of us may not like something) - well, simply fimd something else. If you have a strong vibrator, you may force a few orgasms from her (don't take away the vibe from a clit, even if she struggles away). Or suggest some bondage.
Just have her agreement. That's the basis of BDSM - that even if something not necessary pleasent is done - it's done not just all of a sudden, but the sub agreed to it.

And oof course talking is very important. Very good idea is to talk about each other sexual fantasies (a good time to do it is after sex, when you lie together in bed. Start yourself, even your weirdest ones. Point out, that that's just fantasies, and you don't really need them to come true (and some of them you probably don't even want to come true. Like almost every many from time to time may fantasize of raping a girl against her will, but even if we are, a rare one want's to do it, even if he could go without any consequences). Keep a limit tho.
And have her telling you her's. Even if you can't fulfill it to the line, it will give you the hint to her most supressed desires and interests. Don't be afraid of fantasies like "having sex with a black stranger" - you know, it's fantasies, and they often stand pretty far from real life. And don't wait something too private from her (she'll probably won't tell you some of the most censored things). But you can go back to this from time to time.

Also, if you found her kink, say, it's bondage - it's a good idea to watch some video. You'll have some ideas, get the whole spirit. And again - go from the very simple things.

good luck