Finding a Mistress

[ap and jp]

I have been looking for a mistress to tease me for a while now. I have a girlfriend and shes not really into t&d and thats fine with me, only she doesnt want me being teased by anyone in person so that means I can only try to find someone on the web. This is pretty tough and Im not sure where to look or what to do. If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated.

Jon

[SexualChoc]

My standered answer is to treat her as if she is already your mistress.
Being obediant and listening and doing denial until she:
1) Has sex with you (she should cum first) 2) Or gives you an orgasm (hand or oral)

However,
I am actually going to recomend something different
There are a few Mistress in Milovana
Either search for them
or ask around as to who they are.

In the mean time do at least One random tease a day
Look at forums such as:
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4192
And
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=3069

[Lindsey]

I have been looking for a mistress to tease me for a while now. I have a girlfriend and shes not really into t&d and thats fine with me, only she doesnt want me being teased by anyone in person so that means I can only try to find someone on the web. This is pretty tough and Im not sure where to look or what to do. If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated.

Jon

Have you thought about what affect it might have on your dynamic with your girlfriend when you start feeding the desires you can't fulfill with her, outside of the relationship?

I think the single biggest mistake I see guys making around here in similar situations is coming on far too strong. The environment here creates a distorted view of what most girls are interested in and comfortable with. You need to plant the idea in her head and let her discover it on her own.

Something as simple as, "It feels so good when you're on top and you pull yourself off me for a second...the sensation is so much stronger when i'm back inside you again" ...or, "My orgasms are so much stronger if we haven't had sex in a few days".

If you came at her with, "I want you to lock my cock up in a chastity device and make me clean your feet off with my tongue while wearing your panties" or something else a tad less subtle, it doesn't surprise me that she'd balk at it. 9 times out of 10, people are more willing to do something new if they believe they are the ones that thought out the idea.

Go slow with her before you abandon the idea and seek an outlet that will only create distance between you and possibly tension you're unaware of before it's too late to fix it.

My 2 cents.

-L

[denton]

Sounds like a piece of good advice from Lindsey. It might also help (and this is kind of what Lindsey also means, I guess) to not sound like you're just sexualizing low confidence or something. I think that only few women actually like cowards/wimps. And being submissive doesn't have to be about that. Being submissive can also be feeling strong enough to give someone else a certain amount of control, it can be an act of courage, I think.

(note: I never actually had a reallife relationship of that kind nor have I ever tried yet, so my advice might be totally wrong )

Also, if she is not into it and just tolerates you being submissive to some kind of online domme, will that really be satisfying? (not a rhetorical question)

[ap and jp]

Thanks for all the help and advice. Ive tried talking to her about teasing me, but not anything as serious as whats mentioned above. T&d just isnt her thing and I'm fine with that, but its a part of my sexuality that I want to explore. Anyway thanks for the help