FB: Maria Pavlova Interview, Part 1

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:18 am

I just published a new original tease:

"The Maria Pavlova Interview, Part 1": http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=9655

Feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

mod_factor · Post by **mod_factor** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:02 am

Okay, I almost never post, but I have to say I just don't get it. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I mean no disrespect to Cactusman, I know he must put a ton of work into this and I know many people love his work since his teases are always very highly rated, but I have no idea why. They're just illustrated stories. They're not webteases. Just long-ass illustrated stories. This one is over 300 pages longs. Who the hell has the time, energy, or interest to sit and read 300 pages? What am I missing?

camel · Post by **camel** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:36 am

Cactusman,

This wasn't one of your best, meaning I only gave it a 4.

First, it could have been split up. the interview at the end was great, and if it was it's own tease I would have enjoyed it, but by then the tease was way too long.

Also, while I have clinical hospital fantasies they were too removed. They were his fantasies, that he told her about, that she was recounting in an interview, that was being published in a magazine. It's hard to get swept away from a story when I'm that many levels away from it.

But, all in all, thanks for the great work. I love how your stories lead the characters deeper and deeper into T&D.

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:21 am

mod_factor wrote:Okay, I almost never post, but I have to say I just don't get it. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I mean no disrespect to Cactusman, I know he must put a ton of work into this and I know many people love his work since his teases are always very highly rated, but I have no idea why. They're just illustrated stories. They're not webteases. Just long-ass illustrated stories. This one is over 300 pages longs. Who the hell has the time, energy, or interest to sit and read 300 pages? What am I missing?

The general idea is to put yourself in the place of the husband in this story.

It's masturbatory material. Sorry if it's not working for you... and if so you are welcome to ignore it.

Other writers here have done similar things, and perhaps better, this one is a kind of warm up to later parts that I hope will be better...

Camel, I was trying a new technique in this one that maybe isn't working well, so it's interesting to hear your reaction to it. I think some of my earlier works may be more exciting and involving, as they use a different technique.

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:03 pm

camel wrote:Cactusman,

This wasn't one of your best, meaning I only gave it a 4.

First, it could have been split up. the interview at the end was great, and if it was it's own tease I would have enjoyed it, but by then the tease was way too long.

Also, while I have clinical hospital fantasies they were too removed. They were his fantasies, that he told her about, that she was recounting in an interview, that was being published in a magazine. It's hard to get swept away from a story when I'm that many levels away from it.

But, all in all, thanks for the great work. I love how your stories lead the characters deeper and deeper into T&D.

Thanks for the constructive critical; this is useful to me...

les · Post by **les** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:08 pm

This tease should have been split in two maybe three
There seemed to be natural breaks for that
as the plot twisted and turned

Your good writing kept me to the end but is was a struggle and way too long.

les

whacker44 · Post by **whacker44** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:10 pm

It is quite a good story, but i do agree that it should have been broken up into a few chapters

pbchillin · Post by **pbchillin** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 9:12 pm

For a webtease it is quite long, however as a story it is quite wonderful!

The story is stunning, and I really enjoyed reading it like most of your work.

Perhaps if you labeled them as stories rather than teases then it may rid a little of the criticism you receive for that?

However if it were down to me I'd rather you keep making your teases in this format. :)

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:29 pm

whacker44 wrote:It is quite a good story, but i do agree that it should have been broken up into a few chapters

Thanks to lesub and wacker44 for your thoughts. I always find it hard to break up a tease at the right places. I wish that the standard editor had a feature to split a tease into parts, but as it is that is very painful...

littlewhiston · Post by **littlewhiston** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:07 pm

I absolutely loved it! One of the best items on the website for a long long time!

P.S My post count shows how rarely I have posted in the time I have been a member on here. That's how impressed I was

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:33 pm

pbchillin wrote:For a webtease it is quite long, however as a story it is quite wonderful!

The story is stunning, and I really enjoyed reading it like most of your work.

Perhaps if you labeled them as stories rather than teases then it may rid a little of the criticism you receive for that?

However if it were down to me I'd rather you keep making your teases in this format. :)

Thanks for the very nice comments. Actually I have written longer webteases...

It doesn't bother me that a few people are vocal about what they think is a web tease; they are welcome to their opinion. But I'm pleased to see that several other authors are also making (and have made before me) webteases with some kind of story. There are even flash teases like that, such as the Bermuda Triangle series... As I have said before, that's what I like...

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:38 pm

littlewhiston wrote:I absolutely loved it! One of the best items on the website for a long long time!

P.S My post count shows how rarely I have posted in the time I have been a member on here. That's how impressed I was

Thanks much for the kind words. Actually I am working, in the time I have to spare for this, on rewriting it, as camel's comments gave me some stylistic ideas that seem to make it better, so having someone who really liked this version pits me in a bit of a quandry, so I'll be interested about what you think of the new version if and when it arrives...

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:25 am

camel wrote:Cactusman,

This wasn't one of your best, meaning I only gave it a 4.

First, it could have been split up. the interview at the end was great, and if it was it's own tease I would have enjoyed it, but by then the tease was way too long.

Also, while I have clinical hospital fantasies they were too removed. They were his fantasies, that he told her about, that she was recounting in an interview, that was being published in a magazine. It's hard to get swept away from a story when I'm that many levels away from it.

But, all in all, thanks for the great work. I love how your stories lead the characters deeper and deeper into T&D.

Taking your advice to heart, I have started a project of rewriting this tease. I've pulled back the long version, and am now releasing it in (what will be) 4 parts.

I've also modified my technique in the writing to make it be more immediate, thanks very much for pointing that out. Let me know if you feel it's more immediate and less removed now.

Also, I have borrowed your idea of letting the woman take control of the guy's hands from your tease "Want More Stamina?" that I really liked. Hope you don't mind that.

The new versions of these teases should be available from
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showt ... ova-series

Enjoy, and feedback is very welcome. If someone really wants the old version back, it's not deleted, so it would be possible, but I think the new version is a big improvement, and thank camel and the others that commented for their help.

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:06 am

I have finally published the 4th part of the revised "Maria Pavlova" series, which is available at:

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=9778

This completes the publication of the revised version. There is more to come in the series, which you can find at

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showt ... ova-series

However, I think that this 4th part is the best of the bunch so far. After the editor's preface (which sternly advises the presumably women readers of JISSIHM to not let men masturbate to this interview!), I think you'll find far fewer words and more of a classic cactusman feel to the tease/story, despite my continuing use of a new writing technique.

In any case, enjoy.

cactusman · Post by **cactusman** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:35 pm

Part 5 of the Maria Pavlova Series is now available at:

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=9782

Also part 4 has been completely revised.

Enjoy all the parts of this series, and comments are welcome.

FB: Maria Pavlova Interview, Part 1

FB: Maria Pavlova Interview, Part 1

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FB: Maria Pavlova Interview, Parts 1 and 2

FB: Maria Pavlova, Part 4

Re: FB: Maria Pavlova Interview, Part 1