Exit Stage Left, Lady X

[dix]

Wait... What...

Did Milovana just like die over night?

Oh dear.

Sad to see you go guys, but it's your choice at the end of the day and I hope it's for the best. Good luck in the future.

Dix.

[Lady X]

Good heaven’s people!!! Ya all couldn’t just say, goodbye, You will be missed??? *blushing and giggling*

I am going to reply but do so in a way that is unusual. I am going to reply to all of the posts at one time, so this thread doesn’t take on a whole life of its own. I mean, after all…it is supposed to be a goodbye thread. *lol* Geeeezzzeeeee!!!!!

Before I begin, I would like to share a quick story with you. Perhaps it will explain something to those of you who found it necessary to slam Me for the whole not being okay with men posting as women thing. And if I shared this in My Penetration thread…oops. *lol*

Before I returned to chatting, after a long hiatus, around May of 2007, something happened to Me online.
I was part of a journal community. I shared my thoughts about My life and read about other people’s lives. I made many friends over there. One of those friends was a male. I shall call him T.
I grew to love him, the love like one has for a brother.
He was always going through one crisis or another. I had joined MySpace and had him over there too.
He came down ill, again, and was hospitalized. There was a huge movement on MySpace to cheer him up. It was called “think pink”.
Anyway, he had a best friend named C. This best friend began to write to let everyone know what was going on with T. Money was collected, hours were spent on creating a quilt made of patches of fabric sent to one person from all of T’s friends.

Something was said by C, that made the timeline off a bit. I spent the middle of the night checking every hospital in a 50 mile radius of T’s home to see where he was. Yes, we were that close that I knew his full name and where he lived.
He was not in any of the hospitals. I spoke to C about it.

Life began to unravel. I was cursed at by C and as a week turned into two, it was found out that C and T were one in the same and that it was all a hoax. The exact words that were told to a friend of Mine is that he had the most fun with Me over the two years of knowing Me, because I was the most gullible person he had ever met.

I left the journal and started chatting in the chat rooms again.

I said all that to say this……I suppose that is why this whole male/female thing got to Me.
And no, I honestly didn’t know. Until Indy told Me, I looked at the titles of the teases, not who wrote them. I know, stupid Me, right?

Since that incident with T, I am on guard all the time…..it’s a shame…it sucks…..but it’s the way I am. Will it be different one day…..who knows. But for now…..I can’t help it that it unsettled Me. I can’t help it, that it made Me feel the way it did to find out.
Do I blame Indy for telling Me? HELL NO! We were just talking and it was brought out in casual conversation. I was stupid for not catching it, long before Indy's comment. Perhaps if I had, well, not perhaps, IF I had, then none of this would be happening….I would have done things different. But….can’t go back and change the past…now I just gotta move towards the future.

Okay, now on to responding……if I don’t respond to something you said…..perhaps I didn’t feel like responding to bullshit.

****

That is bad news :(.

Lady X I respect your decision, but I can't quite understand it.

This is a virtual platform, you can just stay here, and don't post for months, if you don't feel like... then, when life is treating you well again, you can just return... Why saying that you're gone for good.... because you may regret this decision at one point, and hm.. well maybe want to return then, but then you may feel the burden you put upon yourself through this thread.

Just some silly thoughts *-*.. .yup...

I will Miss you, Lady X.

Thanks for everything you did to me ( ) and for everything you did for the whole community.

Feel free to drop in from time to time =]....

And another thing... I do always see you replying to each and every forum post(directed at you) and taking anything quite personal... I think that’s another thing you would not have to do... I believe that anyone would understand if you just can't reply to each post.. because that would be .. at times.. quite time consuming.. and if you wouldnt have the mindset that you would have to reply, you would probably feel much more free and enjoy your time here more...

more silly thoughts *heehee* =)..

I'm wishing you all the best, for your reallife, and virtual life. *sends you bright blessings and hugs you softly*

Take good care, Lady X

~green~

None of your thoughts have ever been silly darlin. *smile*
There were some behind the scenes things going on and I felt that I had no choice but to exit the way I did. It was My original plan to do exactly what you mentioned…just stay in the background, with the exception of telling people I was going to do that. I could not just become silent, because that causes unnecessary worry and concern.

And you are right, green, I do respond to every post made. It is part of who I am. I see everything from this world to be so real…I see these as conversations taking place. If someone says something to Me, to not respond…well, it just seems rude. Can’t change some of My spots….even if it were better that I did. Because you are right…it is very time consuming…yet another reason I simply couldn’t stay. I have to maintain My balance between this world and the outside world. I thought I was ready to do that…but I wasn’t.

I gladly accept all of your gratitude, sweet blessings and warm hugs….and kiss your cheek warmly* *bright smile*

****

First, and foremost, I need to make something abundantly clear. I was the one who told Lady X that most folks on the site are guys, who write the teases from a female perspective. If there are those of you that are upset about that, you may feel free to direct your animosity my direction.

Second, and I want to make this *painfully* clear. This is a site that is about exploration, yes. It is also a site that revolves around the idea of suspension of reality. This means that the reader, the author, or the casual viewer can come here, leave reality at the door for a bit, and enjoy a bit of something that may bring them some pleasure, sexually or otherwise, and not feel guilty, burdened, ashamed, or embarrassed by it. They can safely explore what it is that turns them on, and then leave here, and go on about their lives.

Lady X apparently can't handle that bit of reality ... I pity her for that. But the rest of the site members should *not* be burdened with her leaving because she can't abide that there are those of you (and indeed, at one point, myself) that author these works for the rest of us, under the guise of writing from a female perspective. It's a pity, yes, but sometimes change comes from the loss of something ... or some one.

With that in mind ... I think I will be taking my leave of you all, as well. As Human mentioned, and some others are aware, I've had some rough times lately ... truth is, ... the past year has taken a toll on me. I just can't keep it up anymore. I'm sorry to those I've let down, and even more sorry to those of you I call friends ... whom I won't be around for.

I leave with one final thought ...

Peace will come ... but whether borne of harmony, or entropy, who can tell?

Goodbye ...

I totally agree with you Indy, when you said, “This is a site that is about exploration, yes. It is also a site that revolves around the idea of suspension of reality. This means that the reader, the author, or the casual viewer can come here, leave reality at the door for a bit, and enjoy a bit of something that may bring them some pleasure, sexually or otherwise, and not feel guilty, burdened, ashamed, or embarrassed by it. They can safely explore what it is that turns them on, and then leave here, and go on about their lives.”

I tried to express that in My goodbye speech, but obviously was not successful. Just because I have issue with something does not make it wrong. I don’t judge anyone for writing or reading or….*grin*….having orgasms, to Teases. I simply had to add that last part. *giggle*

You and I are privately discussing the other comments made….so I won’t go into them here.

As for you leaving………don’t make Anna tie you up, so that you can’t go. *chuckle*
Seriously though, you have to do what is best for you. Leaving because I’m a pain in the ass, simply isn’t a good reason. But if you have other reasons, then go because of them.
I am not accepting the responsibility of your leaving at the same time as Me….so there! *sticks My tongue out at you and then smiles*

The crazy thing is Indy….that life will go on here, just as it always has…whether we are here or not……of course it won’t be as wonderful…as sexually charged……as grand……*laughing*…………..okay, okay……I’ll stop.

Life goes on…………..and that’s what everyone has to come to terms with…..whether you are here, whether I am…..life goes on…….and it always will. *gentle smile*

*****

*goes to cry in the corner*

Now come on, lovely lady……*takes your hand and leads you out of the corner and into the light, where an angel such as yourself should be* *gentle smile* *places a Kleenex to your nose* Blow! *waits*
Okay…..now……you have a job young lady…..give Indy, bunches of bunches of attention and in no time, all will be just fine……honesty….I kid you not…that is what kind of effect you have on him. *wink*

Everything is going to be okay. *gentle smile* *hugs you gently and kisses your cheek*

*****

Oooh, I seem to have a knack for getting to know people who leave just a few days later :(

Lady X, from what I read of yours you are very smart, sensual, warm and honest. It's sad that you're leaving this place, not only because there won't be any further tasks.

All the best to you, and to Indigo as well. A place like milovana shouldn't make anyone feel bad or overburdened :(

You, sweet Denton, are a blessing. And yes, I admit it….you are gonna be missed. *bright smile*
Thank you for all that you have shared with Me, in this short time we have shared together. *hugs you warmly and kisses your cheek*

*****

LadyX,
i hope you are doing what You want to do.

Not just because You feel You should/must with reluctance.

Its Your life do Your best to enjoy it.

With Love
_____

i have always thought of Milovana
As a place to be able to act out our dreams
For those of us who have not the opportunity to live them.
_____

It wasn't that i did not like it.
i did enjoy it.

As i pushed myself i realised in my case
my body's defences where compromised,

And i could seriously damage myself without knowing it.

i knew you did/would not want that.

loadsa
les

I can’t say I am doing totally what I want to do, but I can say from My heart that I am doing what I think I should. *gentle smile*

I agree that is how I saw Milovana when I came here, as a place where dreams could be acted out. I still see it that way….always will. *smile*
I am glad you enjoyed things and of course you are right, I NEVER want someone hurting themselves from something I am asking of them.
Hopefully you can take away from this situation knowledge and you will not find yourself in a similar situation of unwanted pain again, darlin. *gentle smile*

*softly kissing your cheek and wrapping you up in a tender embrace*

*****

Well... fuck. That pretty much sums it up.

Lady X - I wish you all the best.

*shrugs*

*shakes head*

I don't know what else to say. Just... damn.

I guess I'm off to have an orgasm.

Thanks for the brief times you gave me your attention. I'll cherish them.

Okay, I know I wasn’t supposed to giggle when I read this…but I couldn’t help Myself.
Fuck sums it up huh? *giggling* Every time I read that….I just smile and giggle.

You made a sad and difficult situation a little easier on Me, Thank you, sweet boy……*bright smile*

*warmly hugging you and gently kissing that warm flesh, just below your belly button* *wink*

*****

I may not have knowen you long but I will miss you, you have an elegance in your writting style that encoraged creativity in others and the fact that you care what happens to a submissive when other domme's that I have had the misfortune of meeting would not have cared of anyone was hurt or not speaks volumes about your compassion. I understand about wanting to be happy and I hope that your life is filled with bliss. Indigo I hope that things get better for you, and if anyone blames you for lady x's leaving to pursue her happiness I think its safe to say that we will take up a collection and buy him a clue. for what it worth lady x I never lied in my posts I do have a bad leg and I did have a bad experince with a domme that has convinced me that I am not a switch or a sub anymore. you have a chance to be truly happy don't let it pass you by go after it and be happy. you and Indigo will all ways have friends here.catchs a kiss and waves goodbye*sad smile*

Ya know what, dear doctor…….well, some of what I want to say, I would like to say privately if I may???? I will check back to see if permission is granted. *warm smile*

I found you to be trustworthy, from the get go darlin…….and………….well….enough on that subject for now… *smile*
And I agree, if anyone blames Indy for My leaving………I am taking a switch to their ass. *does this deep growl to show I mean it*

Until…….I hear back from you….*a soft kiss is placed upon your cheek*

*****

Lady X: The fact you're leaving is our loss.

I'm trying to figure out how a heterosexual male sub's T&D fantasies could be crafted as a web tease any other way and be better. I mean... it's not like we want to pretend to be women, it's that we want to read hot stories and currently there aren't enough women doing it. I find it painfully ironic to think that the solution reinforces the problem. We don't have more women teasing because there aren't enough women teasing?

Speaking for myself, my target audience is myself... or that part of myself that is submissive and into being teased. If I were to write a tease, with a target audience of dominant females, THEN I might write from the submissive male's perspective.

I wonder... if there was a webtease site that only allowed teases to be written by dominants, if that would attract more people like Lady X.

I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this……..and honestly, it did help a bit. *soft smile*

Thank you for………..your words and the thoughts behind them. *smile*

*gentle hugs*

*****

OK, I can understand the site not fulfilling your expectations. I can also understand wanting to devote your time exclusively to your sub.

Anyway, good luck in your future endeavors.

As you noticed, I didn’t add to your quote all that you said. I addressed it above. *smile*

Thank you for your well wishes. *Smile*

*****

Wait... What...

Did Milovana just like die over night?

Oh dear. :'-(

Sad to see you go guys, but it's your choice at the end of the day and I hope it's for the best. Good luck in the future.

Dix.

*gentle smile* Nope…..nothing died….everything will be okay….you’ll see.

*softly kisses your cheek* Take care darlin.

*****

Okay, that sums things up. *smile* I will lurk for a bit....and try like the dickens not to get lured back in, by you adorable people. *giggle*

[denton]

as a week turned into two, it was found out that C and T were one in the same and that it was all a hoax.

Wow. What a cruel (and not in the good way) and despicable thing to do to someone.. I don't know how you manage to be this open, honest and warm despite something like that happening.

Here's to hoping that you will be lured back

[Heathcliff]

it was found out that C and T were one in the same and that it was all a hoax. The exact words that were told to a friend of Mine is that he had the most fun with Me over the two years of knowing Me, because I was the most gullible person he had ever met.

What a cad. It's always rough when you find an emotional investment was based on nothing (even if it only online-it still matters. It's just different.) Especially since you seem to really try to connect to those you're talking to.

Do you ever find yourself around Fetlife.com? If not, you may want to check it out. It's like a Fetish myspace. (as opposed to fetish classifieds like collarme.) Seems like it might be up your alley. (Assuming you have free time away from your new beau. )

[dr.d]

[quote="Lady X"]

Ya know what, dear doctor…….well, some of what I want to say, I would like to say privately if I may???? I will check back to see if permission is granted. *warm smile*

I found you to be trustworthy, from the get go darlin…….and………….well….enough on that subject for now… *smile*
And I agree, if anyone blames Indy for My leaving………I am taking a switch to their ass. *does this deep growl to show I mean it*

Until…….I hear back from you….*a soft kiss is placed upon your cheek*

*****

you have my permission, you did not need to ask it ,but thank you for asking * he ponders on what she wishes to say*

[les]

To my young Lady X
A couple of my observations.

In the main :
The teases on Milovana are written for subs by subs and are free.
The teases by Dommes are on pay sites.

Most people will do what
They think they can get away with,
That's lying/cheating/conning/conniving.

So with this knowledge.

i have eight email addresses for different genres.
i do/have not post/ed my real full name ever.
i have a complete false profile if needed.
I use a "pay as you go credit card."

i also use
http://10minutemail.com/10MinuteMail/index.html
to register anonymously.

I am Les M this is true and as close as it gets.

On Milovana I am Lesub.
Also Lady X you you are registered as my friend.

I must make clear your tease requested tasks that in no way hurt.
A little uncomfortable maybe but no real pain.

That is when i realised the implications of my medications.

Please stay and watch and read with us for the sake of your boys.
i believe you mentioned you tried some of our ideas on "hubby"


Please be a happy "lurker".

i hope to correspond again in the future.
If i do not so long as you are happy i will be also for you.

And yes you will be sadly missed.

*on his knees *

les

[camel]

Geeezee AND wowzers. That was one marathon of a response. You, Lady X, are a class act. Thank you.

[tdrules]

First and foremost I am thankful for Milovana.com and OD.com before it for all the great content and good times as well. These sites have made me realize what I want to do in life and that is write. Until I wrote some teases over the years I didn't exactly know what I wanted to do.

I enjoy reading the stories and webteases almost as much as actually doing them. Even though I've been around as a lurker for years. I remember the orginal OD.com when they had 5 teases, maybe. I was looking forward to each one to see when a author would post the newest tease. It didn't and still doesn't matter to me that most of the authors are male. I see it as any other novel. The writer is portraying a character. I mean most romance novel writers are female and they sometimes write what a male is thinking and how they would react. Would every male react the way portrayed in the romance novel? One simple answer NO because we are all different. So in my opinion a man writing as a dom is exactly like a woman writing what a man would want in this month's cosmo.

For some this site is merely a fantasy. It's something that makes us intrigued, the ones that may do that are the ones that may love the tease but not the denial. Tease and release I think I've heard it called before.

Others may still see it as a fantasy but are more "into" doing (just about)everything a tease says. But it may still be a 2nd life that they wouldn't dare tell someone outside of the site.

Then there are the select few that are live and breath this site and/or have a full time or even part time mistress. That may tell him to do a webtease when she is away or something. Or that uses it hand in hand. Few and far between but they are out there.

Personally I'm in the middle. Like I am with about everything. I'm a tease and delay. I have gone a month without orgasm and it was intense. But I'm very sexual of a person. Would I date or have a relationship with a dom? Maybe but only as a part time. Like I said I'm a tease and delay. I'd want something to look forward to. Like "If you hold out all week on Saturday night we'll screw like rabbits." Or a woman giving me a long bj or even hj. I really don't know. In theory I may be able to withhold with a real person but I've not tried it either. Where I'm from even doggie style is considered almost taboo. lol.

I get almost teased a lot at my job by women. Always rubbing on me, hugging, and even almost playing with my butt. So by the time I get home I'm bout ready to explode. I finish myself off and go to bed. Usually with a tease, a vid I downloaded or pc mistress. I've not had internet at home for a while. So I've had to resort to downloading vids and trying them.

As of this post I have DSL at home and I may start posting new material. It all depends on how well received my newest one will be.

I am currently writing a novel so if I do write some webteases it will be during my "down time" of the novel. It will be tempting since I'll have net again. I've got about a 100 series of pics on my pc so ya never know.

People come and people go. I commend anyone that has taken this site to another level, which includes both genders. I'm a author so I'm not going to down a male for writing webteases or stories. That wouldn't make any sense. lol.

Any questions or comments welcome I'm not the type to blast anyone. I listen to both sides of a story before I asses a opinion.

Have fun everyone and be safe.

[dix]

Just read you story and all I can say is that, that's life I'm afraid.

People suck and they're out to use you for their own ends most of the time.

It's a sad world, and it's one that I have very little faith left in.

Dix.

[camel]

...This best friend began to write to let everyone know what was going on with T. Money was collected, hours were spent on creating a quilt made of patches of fabric sent to one person from all of T’s friends.

This goes beyond the pale, and it's fraud. I recommend pressing charges. Seriously. It would mean an extra bit of closure to you to know that he hasn't gone unpunished and, if caught doing it again, has it on record that it isn't his first time. Being vindictive or spiteful has nothing to do with this, it's simply the right thing to do if you feel up to it.

[SomeOne]

I won't get into detail - just some good wishes for you Lady X, for all the life you can find out there

[Incubo]

Can't say that I really know you all that well Lady X. Don't think we've ever conversed so I can't really say "I'll miss you" either, but as a member of the community here, I can say, I understand and wish you the best of luck. Like anything else in the world, this site isn't for everyone. Some like what they find here, some don't. When you explore new things, sometimes you find out they're not for you. Nothing wrong with that. Just makes you human. *shrugs* Good bye and good luck.

...and Good bye and good luck to Indy as well if you're indeed leaving as well.

[Dickletdrippy]

I remember how thrilled I was when I first discovered Milovana. I was addicted to the teases. I felt comfortable enough to express myself here, I usually keep one eye on the forum. There's a lot of potential, but I think there's often a lot of pain and disappointment. When you open yourself up there's always the risk of being hurt or feeling foolish. I think I've done some foolish things in the course of trying to get the experiences that I wanted. And actually, the people that have helped me the most with my fetishes are people that I've met completely at random, not on mil. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I guess that's how I feel at the moment.

As far as the teases are concerned, if you think about it for one second you will realize that 99% of them are written by men. The dominant women in the community are very few in comparison to the submissive men.

Concerning the dominant women leaving, there can be a lot of pressure associated with putting yourself out there and assuming the role of domme on the forum. Sooner or later something is going to strike a chord, or it simply becomes too stressful. It is unfortunate.

I sincerely hope this site will continue to grow and that the community will grow and mature. There's nothing out there quite like Milovana.

Don't give up on the site guys, just take a breath and continue on.

[Yanker]

Life is too short to mess around with stuff that doesn't make you happy. Goodbye Lady X. You will be fondly remembered and deeply missed.

[les]

Dear Lady X
i was taught to thank guests for coming to visit.

So thank You for coming to visit

Perhaps in Your case.

i should say thank You for letting me cum.


les