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Joan was interested in conversation, in wit, in exploration.
But instead, the halfwits who signed into the chat room always immediately pm'd her, wanting to talk sex without any connection, without any buttons for her to push.
Oh, and she liked buttons to push. She loved that feeling. She once saw a documentary on portia spiders... how they hunted other spiders, trying different tactics... sometimes bouncing lazily, producing vibrations on their prey's webs that "sounds" like wind to their prey until it was too late... sometimes plucking at their prey's webs to sound like a trapped insect, or a potential mate, calling the prey to rush out and meet their doom... figuring out what makes them tick, what draws them in... and Joan knew this was her calling.
But all she was getting was the occasional stranger that said "ASL? wanna dirty chat? What do you like?" the same way that fast food employees can ask "do you want fries with that?" and make it sound like a single word.
But tonight was going to be different. She was going to lack any finesse, on purpose, just to fuck with them and see what happens. She created a new account with a name of "TeaseMistress", laughing to herself how it was so godawfully blunt that nobody had taken it already.
Then she signed into chat, and got ready to go full throttle, to outdo even the most immature "please tease me" wanker.
FirstGuy joined the chat, and before he could even say hi, she typed "Hi FirstGuy. Edge for me, smack your balls 10 times, then thank me when you're done! Now!"
Needless to say, confronted with this, the guys didn't take it well. Some got the joke, some were annoyed, some said "uhh... ok", and some wanted to ask her questions, but she'd have none of it, replying with "are you going to do it or not?!?" and giggling to herself, thinking "Me Hulkstress. Me smash smash smash!"
