When you don't have a Mistress in real life.

[Foxhawke]

Hi all,

I've been visiting this site on and off for at least half a year now but just recently got myself a forum account. I really appreciate all the hard work that goes into making these great teases.

Teases are great and all, but what I really want is to meet a Mistress for real, making it a bit more personal and I think a Mistress with a strap-on is quite the different thing from riding a dildo. There's just so many things you cannot do on your own.

I've been unsuccessful in finding someone but recently I came across an ad from a lady Mistress who does paid sessions. Judging from her website she seems like a call-girl who also does domination and such (she even got a CB-3000 that you can rent for extended periods of time!). The call-girl bit doesn't really bother me (I'm considering it a forced donation to be honored with her precense) but the problem is that I myself have to specify what would happen during a session which feels a bit confusing. Especially since it's up to me to pick activities that will or won't result in orgasm for me.

Has anyone here done anything similar? Or does anyone have any recommendations for how to find a Mistress? Even just an online Mistress to email with to get a bit more personal touch to it could be interesting, but in the long run I still think I'm looking for something "real".

[Alison]

Hi all,

I've been visiting this site on and off for at least half a year now but just recently got myself a forum account. I really appreciate all the hard work that goes into making these great teases.

Teases are great and all, but what I really want is to meet a Mistress for real, making it a bit more personal and I think a Mistress with a strap-on is quite the different thing from riding a dildo. There's just so many things you cannot do on your own.

I've been unsuccessful in finding someone but recently I came across an ad from a lady Mistress who does paid sessions. Judging from her website she seems like a call-girl who also does domination and such (she even got a CB-3000 that you can rent for extended periods of time!). The call-girl bit doesn't really bother me (I'm considering it a forced donation to be honored with her precense) but the problem is that I myself have to specify what would happen during a session which feels a bit confusing. Especially since it's up to me to pick activities that will or won't result in orgasm for me.

Has anyone here done anything similar? Or does anyone have any recommendations for how to find a Mistress? Even just an online Mistress to email with to get a bit more personal touch to it could be interesting, but in the long run I still think I'm looking for something "real".

When you are seeking a professional to see in real life- go to Max Fisch. http://www.maxfisch.com. That's an amazing site for finding a prodommes regardless of where you are.

When you contact the prodomme, tell her the following: "I want to put myself in your hands. If you deem me worthy, consider the following activities _________________ (then list things you would love to happen). My hard limits are _________________ (then list the things which are out of your comfort zone). Please make all decisions for me regarding this session."

Hope that helps.
Alison

[ShySubMale]

I think the advice from Alison is perfect. I am no expert but have been to four professional "dommes". I use quotes because the first two were certainly not dominant - but simply worked through a script.

It really is worth researching the right person for you first - and there are several good sites to help you, maybe you should join "Informed Consent" aswell?

Good luck in your search!

[4real995]

I think you should order a chastity device and lock yourself up in it and send Alisonx both keys. When she feels you have earned a real time session she can send the keys to a maxfisch domme in your area and leave you at their mercy. This all assumes she is willing to give you an opportunity to earn your way into her good graces.

Allisonx, I hope this doesnt sound to forward of me to include you in this I am just trying to help a guy out and thought you could/ might enjoy having some control.

Hope this help you out fox.

[Salt]

The only advice I know is: Try not to fall in love with someone that you aren't in a relationship with. I guess that sounds completely out of the blue, but when you change from in your head to in real life, things happen, and sex is very emotional.

Damn I'm off topic lol, just seemed to smack of "I want more then a scene" and that brings back bad memories.

I like the suggestion from Alisonx for scenes, seems very tidy and not to mention humiliating (if thats your thing) to submit a list of all the limits you are willing to explore at the Domme's discretion. Use common sense as well, "anything" is a bad choice of words for her to work with.

[dark]

I think there is a big difference. You can have fun and learn new things about yourself if you make online experiences, for example with Alison. But what you really like in a real session you have to find out in a real session. A pro domme has a lot of experiences, also with newbies. She can see better what is satisfying you and what turns you on, because she can see immediately how you react if she is doing something. For the first session I would recommend an older domme who is in the biz for a long time. She will read you very fast, if she is one of the good dommes.

An online experience can be fun and you can also learn a lot, but there is nothing what gives you the certainty what you really like in a real session, except of a real experience with a domme of your choice.

I don't know a lot about Alison, but I think she is good and experienced in her occupation to dominate men online. If you want to make online experiences first, I think she would be a good choice. I personal tried this out with another domme, she didn't want money for that and she was not very experienced. This experience was not bad but after a short time it bored me a lot. After a short period I canceled. It can be very unsatisfying if you serve someone who you never see. But maybe it works for you, that's just my personal experience.

I hope you find someone

One last hint and this is also just my personal opinion: If you combine sexuality and money, this can cause problems. For example a pro domme who only is doing it for the money can break your heart or abuse her position as the top. This would not be the first time. I heard a lot bad things about dom-prostitution. You should really try to see a relationship with a pro domme with a big distance. Don't fall in love with her and don't go to far. See it as a deal, a service, not more.

Again, this is just my personal opinion

edit: lol Salt you were faster Good to see that I am not the only one who sees that there can be problems with professional sex

[Foxhawke]

A lot of good information here. Thank you everyone. Reading through my post again now it feels quite incoherent and slightly random. It's hard for me to put these things into words/text, but I don't really have anywhere else to go.

Maybe I should take alison up on Her suggestion, but I've tried similar things in the past where things didn't really turn out that good, either what they offered didn't really seem to match what I desired or they would respond less and less frequently. Nothing against you alison, of course, I don't judge based on my bad experiences, but I'm just a bit hesitant about spending money due to it.

Reading through all the information here I first of all realized that I neglected one (perhaps crucial) piece of information, namely where I live. Being in the northern parts of Europe there is quite a bit of travel to do to reach any of the really majoy cities here and even though English usually works well the language can definitively become a barrier in something like this. Looking through maxfisch and informed consent I could find maybe a handful sort-of-local on the first site and none on the second and none of those seemed to be looking for someone like me.

Adding to the problems with finding someone is the local laws, which state that any form of payment for anything sexual is forbidden (in person at least, because sex phone lines, porn sites and movies are all legal, it's all a bit confusing honestly), which leaves me with either seeking outside the country or find my way into a mutual enjoyment relationship where money or gifts wouldn't have to change owner.

And now I'm ranting again...

Maybe what I really need to do is sign up for alison's Submissive Challenge to have Her help me figure out what it really is I want or something. Because the more I ponder about it the less I feel like I actually know this.

And thanks again for lending me your ears. :)

[neo36]

Hello Foxhawke,

A few days ago I was in your shoes, I strongly endorse Alison's suggestion. I have been to her site and have exchange E-mails with her.

Her submissive challenge might be for you or not, but you will find out and she will give you an honest answer I can assure you.

She is very nice and understanding, she made me feel comfortable and was really dead honest and knowledgeable.

Feel free to pm me if you want.

Neo

[Foxhawke]

Thank you for considering The Submissive Challenge. Before you sign up, spend some time on my site. http://www.alisonx.sensualwriter.com The site is free to look through and read about it. Read the challenges, the details, and the mental images, and my journal.

I rearranged a lot of my site in the last 24 hours, including putting up a lot more photos of me as well as a lot of information about me and how I view the world.

If you just have a question, I'll answer it for free of course (if I can). Feel free to e-mail me: [email protected].

Hug.

Alison

Thank YOU Alison, for offering something like this. Something that which is, as far as I have seen, a very unique thing here on the internet. :)

I've been reading some on your site and it's all good stuff to read. I do have one question though that I figured I'd ask here in case others are interested, if you want to reply in private send me a PM:

Since I live in Europe, which is 6-10 hours ahead of you (depending on where in the US you live, daylight savings and such), will I have to be up all night to ever catch you online on GTalk? Or are you online even in the mornings at times?

Oh, and I love your pictures, those combined with the fact that you use GTalk is really sexy, in my opinion. :)

[Alison]

Since I live in Europe, which is 6-10 hours ahead of you (depending on where in the US you live, daylight savings and such), will I have to be up all night to ever catch you online on GTalk? Or are you online even in the mornings at times?

Oh, and I love your pictures, those combined with the fact that you use GTalk is really sexy, in my opinion. :)

Thank you for the compliments...

Actually, There are a couple of people in Europe who are doing The Challenge and it works well for them.

I get the challenge out the night before (lately it's been as late as 2 pm, which is 9 am GMT, but I'm trying for 10 pm.) So generally before 10 am, you get the challenge. Many nights, I'm on for a bit late at night- and so I talk to people in Europe as they just wake up.

Then I sleep... and they work. About 7-8 hours later... I wake up. And I chat for a bit before my morning run/walk. This means it's afternoon in Europe, and in some cases, the challenge has been done, or in other cases the challenge is going to be done. Depends on the person and the Challenge.

Then over the course of the late afternoon (and evening and late evening), I'm here... off an on. And the conversations go, which leads to my creating scenarios and images and so it goes.

What makes this possible is that I do this many hours a day-(like 8-10) but it's not a straight 8 hour day. I may take a few hours off to go do something.. But I'm on early in the morning, late at night, and off and on in between...

Does that make sense?

Alison

[Foxhawke]

Does that make sense?

Yes, very much so. :) Thanks for the thorough answer!

[neo36]

If I may add something without breaking any of the forum's rules....

Let me share with you some of my experiences so far with Alison.....

I must admit I am doing Alison's challenge since a few days and she is online a lot. She is very available and so far I am very pleased of Alison's services, she always takes time to answer the many questions I asked her, and trust me guys I have asked many.

So if you are worried about her being available, she is on at many different time of the day, I live in EST and I've seen her on around between 10:00 am and when I left around 2:00 am my time she was still on. Although she was on and off during the day.

Another thing I can say is that when she is not online you can E-Mail her, you can expect a quick answer..... (from my experience it was within the same day always).

.... this is what I have experienced so far with her and I am in no way implying that she will guarantee to be always available and fast in responding you..... I am just sharing what I have experienced so far.

So far all I can say is I have been "Alisonyzed"...... resistance was futile.


Feel free to PM me if you want more feedback from a Challenge participant.

Neo

[Bonkgr]

I don't have any personal experience with them, but I've looked at a considerable number of web sites and services, and the most appealing one that I've found is http://www.badpenis.com.

One of these days I may even contact them or post here for advice myself...good luck Foxhawke...

[neo36]

I don't have any personal experience with them, but I've looked at a considerable number of web sites and services, and the most appealing one that I've found is http://www.badpenis.com.

One of these days I may even contact them or post here for advice myself...good luck Foxhawke...

Funny coincidence..... I bought my CB2k from Jenny at Badpenis.com 3 years ago. And the pictures there are exactly the same except for the new CB devices.

From an after sales aspect she was top notch, and even replied to the e-mails I sent her with regards to fitting. She provided valuable advice on how to uses these things. At that time when you bought a device from her you would get a 1 month free membership to one of her alternate site. Ladyforce.com (for sissification fetish) or 4dom.com for femdom.

She seems to still be offering key holding services but the 2 other sites seem closed, you get a link sending you back to badpenis.com.

If you are looking to buy a CB and expect to have a good communication with someone who knows her stuff then Jenny is the one.


Neo