easing my gf into BDSM

[lucci1120]

Hey I'm relatively new to milovana but i love the teases and i have been experimenting with BDSM for a while now and I'm a huge supporter. Nearly every girl i've ever been in a relationship with i taught about BDSM in general and helped them experiment with it in the hopes that they'd enjoy it as much as I do. Without going in depth on the lifestyle as a whole i've started to experiment with my current girlfriend and so far she loves it specifically being choked and being tied up and she's hungry for more to say the least. Im simply looking for things to try with her that are toned down versions of bigger fetishes to feel out what she likes and doesnt like (i.e. i tied her hands together with a belt loose enough that if she really wanted to she could get out but tight enough that she couldnt slip right out). I've thought about tying her up for real, i've been slowly experimenting with torturing her clit and lips which she likes so far, i've tried some tease and denial scenario's, and i've somewhat successfully gotten her into punishing my balls. If anyone has any suggestions on things to try with her to ease her into BDSM they would be greatly appreciated thanks!

[camel]

Try role playing. Buy handcuffs. When you're alone with her, put them on her (gently?), and then suddenly over-act asking "Who sent you?"

When she looks confused, get slightly rough (grab her chin, or nipple) and give her a challenging smile. "I know someone sent you to spy on me! We have all night, you're helpless, you'll talk sooner or later."

and you're off. The great thing about this is that it's self-tuning. When she's had enough, she'll 'confess'.

- -
Separately, not sure if this is a good suggestion or not... it might be too 'logical' and rules-based, but you could try this game to see which of you lasts the longest:

1) No masturbation.
2) Take turns tying and teasing the other up to an hour. (If your night was last night, hers is tonight, etc.)
3) The game stops when one person needs to cum so badly that he/she admits defeat.
4) You cannot admit defeat while tied. (i.e. no admitting defeat under duress)
5) Communication! Anything too painful, etc, has to be stopped immediately, but the remainder of the hour can continue. (Being uncomfortably aroused does not qualify, we're talking "biting too hard", that sort of thing.)
6) If you attempt to lighten the stakes or call it a draw, the other one gets an extra turn. (i.e. two nights in a row)
(Optional) While tied, you must warn your partner if you are on the edge.

Decide the stakes of the game. I recommend something fun, light, and fast, rather than, say, a month of slavery or anything that might cause the winner to be apprehensive. It does need to be something you're ok with doing if you lose, but more importantly it has to be something you're comfortable with if you win!

I played a game like this with a girlfriend once. We had bet on a month of slavery, including doing the other's laundry, etc. I won, but regret to report that I let her off the hook, which turned out to be a dumb move for several reasons. The main reason I let her off the hook was because I was new with this stuff too and _I_ was apprehensive about ordering her around. If we had bet a weekend of slavery instead, we would have had a lot more fun.

[lucci1120]

thanks for the help that game sounds really interesting and im definitely gonna try an adaption of that with my girl maybe alternating hours of teasing each other in the same night back to back but instead of admitting defeat being asking to cum asking for the tease to end and just to have sex.

im also looking for specific things to try with her to feel out what she likes and doesnt so if anyone has suggestions on that (i.e. pinching her clit, ice, nipple play), i know she doesnt like anything with piss or shit or any extreme pain but she loves playing with my cum so im trying to think of more i can do with that

any and all ideas greatly appreciated

[les]

I feel you have a load of Ideas of your own,
But have you both just sat down and bounced ideas off each other.

You absolutely must also have a safe word for each other,
Even if it is just "SAFE WORD" !!

Keep it safe, sane, and consensual,
Have fun, and keep the love in it.
Les

[caphalor42]

I would recommend doing a nice tease, for example the business trip tease I think it has some interesting parts, at least there was some nice feedback (http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4935).

*end of advertisement*

[lucci1120]

I feel you have a load of Ideas of your own,
But have you both just sat down and bounced ideas off each other.

I have some ideas yeah but they all need perfecting and i was just looking for the creative genius of others who enjoy this as much as i do and im starting to bounce ideas off her but i also want to perfect things before i discuss them too much and more ideas would be helpful even if it just helps me bounce ideas off of her. Thanks for the support though i feel the same way safe, sane, and conventional and there's a lot of love in it.

[les]

I feel you have a load of Ideas of your own,
But have you both just sat down and bounced ideas off each other.

I have some ideas yeah but they all need perfecting and i was just looking for the creative genius of others who enjoy this as much as i do and im starting to bounce ideas off her but i also want to perfect things before i discuss them too much and more ideas would be helpful even if it just helps me bounce ideas off of her. Thanks for the support though i feel the same way safe, sane, and conventional and there's a lot of love in it.

Build on you thoughts as the thoughts of others may lead you down the wrong path.
But later you will be able to use those thoughts as diversions.