My wife found my porn for the first time before we were married. Back then it was just naked pictures, nothing really deviant. She was extremely upset and outraged. I promised not to do it again and she still married me. Since then I've tried to keep it hidden, not always successfully.
If anyone else I know ever found out I would probably get a new job and move.
Am I the only person on this entire board who finds and dates sex-positive women? Maybe it's just a generational thing, since I'm 24 and have dated girls who are now 26, 23 and 22. But... porn has never been a problem for me or anyone I know. My considerable collection of porn, most of it kinky, lives right on my desktop in a folder marked "porn", next to the folders "music" and "funny internet pictures". My closest male friends have browsed my porn collection, which includes all sorts of foot fetish, illustrated tentacle rape, BDSM and other ridiculous subjects. The worst I have ever gotten is: "Dude, that is completely not sexy to me," and "... feet? Really? Huh, okay." My last girlfriend and I regularly traded porn. My previous girlfriends didn't look at porn themselves, but knew about my collection and my occasional porn-viewing habits. I have watched or swapped porn at least once with every girl I've ever dated, and several girls who I'm friends with. When I'm dating someone, my porn collection has always included pictures of them, created during mutually enjoyable photo shoots.
An important caveat: I have never turned down sex and then subsequently gone off on a porn binge. Porn has never replaced my desire for sex.
"Submission, like apology, is often mistaken for a sign of weakness."
I've never had any problems with that. I live in one of the kinkiest cities in the world, and I'd have to agree with neloangelo that the younger generations are a lot more open-minded.
Now tell me, what would be the point of my hypothetical divorced wife telling everyone about my kinks? Most of the people she might talk to around here would be too busy strapping on leather harnesses and lathering themselves and their 15-inch dildos in oil to care.
My wife is well aware that I look at porn and masturbate. She does not get turned on by images, she prefers to get her fantasy material from books such as Nancy Friday's 'Secret Garden.'
She does not mind my looking at porn just likes me to keep it off the screen when she is around.
I have lost at least 1 relationship through my addiction to masturbation.
I don't fully agree with the characterization of everyone who has a problem with their significant other using porn as closed minded or not sex-positive (although I'm sure that's often the case). I think if something squicks you, it's legit to want your partner not to do it, or at least to keep it hidden. Porn is kinda gross, hey lots of the porn here is based on exploring the idea that looking at porn is gross.
wonderbo wrote:My wife found my porn for the first time before we were married. Back then it was just naked pictures, nothing really deviant. She was extremely upset and outraged. I promised not to do it again and she still married me. Since then I've tried to keep it hidden, not always successfully.
If anyone else I know ever found out I would probably get a new job and move.
After your wife found porn, before marriage, did you decide to quite porn or decided to hide it better ?
Its good that people are finding porn-open women; but there are a lot of women out there who are not open to it.
I have both hidden porn and had online mistresses etc.. and I have also shared porn and been somewhat kinky with my SO. It seems that there is a sort of thrill in keeping everything hidden. Kinda like if I am "playing" with another woman or something and I know the wife will be home at 5 and its 445 now it kinda gives you a rush. Kinda like a girl dating a boy because her parents hate him. I would suggest keeping an open conversation about this kind of stuff, find out what SHE wants, most of us want to serve and be slaves right?
a topic near and dear to my heart foe many years. My wife knows that men look at porn. he primary concern for many years was that it was illegal and that we go to jail. For a number of years when we shared a family computer, i used to always say..jeez i don"t know how that got there...must be our sons..She figured that teenage boys needed porn to keep them from getting pimples or something so she never bothered him about it. Then there was my daughter but those problems only came up when we got a web cam. Not the kids are gone 9mostly) but we have his and hers computers so other then the cleaning lady finding my gooey laptop i am safe. Sometimes i sneak on to hers at night but the in private features of modern browsers do a ood job, Only forgot Milovana was on once..She laughed at the subtitle..I often think that many women do not really mind but feel that they can not admit it.., i have seen her peeking from the door way when i am watching the porn channel at night and pretending to be asleep.she seems to like the girl on girl stuff, but then who does'nt
I recomend
feeling out how your partner feels about porn
before you even have sex with them.
Because I believe in several dates
it's just a good idea with STD's.
I was suprised that my girlfriend, now wife had no problems
with porn when I talked to her about it I did it this way
"I have been trying really hard to quit..."
"I wanted to be open and honest with you..."
Now I am married to a woman who know exactly how kinky I am.
Now, We have tried bringing porn into the bedroom
but honestly, I find it distracting.
I want to focus on my partner, but that's just me.
neloangelo1227 wrote:Am I the only person on this entire board who finds and dates sex-positive women? Maybe it's just a generational thing, since I'm 24 and have dated girls who are now 26, 23 and 22. But... porn has never been a problem for me or anyone I know.
I must admit I am a bit boggled too - or just very fortunate.
I choose to believe most girlfriends/wives are upset by finding porn mainly because they indeed FIND it rather than having been included in the first place. No wonder that triggers doubts.
I talk openly about everything with my partner - and I mean everything. A partner I somehow feel I cannot be open with, or which turns out to be scared off by anything I do or say, is not a partner I care to have a relationship with anyway.
