Lady X thinks out loud...

[Lady X]

Sorry for the late reply, Lady X.

Well... the same things I see in myself. For one, she's very bossy and he's not. He's easily led, but only by strong women. He has a habit of testing himself against people when he gets to know them, and asserts himself as either above or beneath them... it's quite irritating actually. As for her, well she's extremely stubborn and really enjoys getting her way. ;)

It's more the way they interact together. Like my boss and her girl, their bedroom personas spread into their ordinary relationship. Sometimes they don't do much to cover it up (and why should they).

Well... I don't think this applies to all or maybe even most submissive people, but I'm just the same in real life. Not spineless - I stand up for something when I feel it's needed - but very quiet, polite. I hate to lead, and like listening, comforting, that sort of thing. And always looking to 'serve' or help out.
In my last relationship (not D/S) I found myself walking a touch behind her, for example. And when dating someone, I have a habit of getting besotted and worshipping the other person. This can be a real fault, actually.
I often wonder if it's my personality fuelling my interest in female domination / BDSM or the other way around. It's always made me wonder. I do worry that this side of me is going to make a 'vanilla' relationship very difficult, should I fall into another one. But I worry about a lot of things!

your reply was not late. *warm smile*

I enjoyed reading your response. I like the way you look at people, and the world.

Why do you think you worry so much? Do you know the cause of it?

[mastah007]

I have a lap top in my room that has all my porn.

Now if someone searched my room and found my fleshlight I would just die. I did enjoy going to the porn store to buy it, I was so nervous, but for someone to know I owned it. I would just die!

*gentle smile* Why?

That brings up something I have thought about. I would kind of like to try a Fleshlight too, see how good that feels, I've read some pretty good reviews of them.

But I'm wondering why today it is commonly accepted that women purchase vibrators and dildos but if a guy wants a Fleshlight it has to be hidden and he should feel shame about it. That's at least the case where I live. It's the same with a guy wanting a dildo or other anal toy. There is some sort of double standard where it's sexy and cool for women to buy sex toys but shameful and wrong for men to do the same. And I've kind of wondered why that is?

Hope it's ok that I said this, it could be seen as a little off topic.

[Lady X]

That brings up something I have thought about. I would kind of like to try a Fleshlight too, see how good that feels, I've read some pretty good reviews of them.

But I'm wondering why today it is commonly accepted that women purchase vibrators and dildos but if a guy wants a Fleshlight it has to be hidden and he should feel shame about it. That's at least the case where I live. It's the same with a guy wanting a dildo or other anal toy. There is some sort of double standard where it's sexy and cool for women to buy sex toys but shameful and wrong for men to do the same. And I've kind of wondered why that is?

Hope it's ok that I said this, it could be seen as a little off topic.

Of course it's okay!!! *bright smile*

I guess that is why I asked him why.

I was just at the adult store last weekend and I feel so comfortable looking through things and getting exactly what I want.
But there was this man that waited outside the store, until I left. His face was red and I could tell he was so embarrassed to be in there with Me.

It simply blows My mind the way the world has double standards.

And hell...I think a fleshlight is freaking awesome!!!! I will be honest that I had no idea what it was, so I Googled it. I think it looks like great and I might just have to look at one close up.....maybe get one of the hubbies one for Christmas. *giggle*

[Human]

I think it has a lot to do with stereotypes. I've thought heavily about that too, and it's more socially accepted for women to be seen sexually. Men are typically viewed as the "leaders" the "supporters" and the "Big, strong, tough guys". It's perfectly okay for women to wear makeup, get their nails done, sleep with other women, too. See a guy do that? He'd be crucified in short order.

Don't societal norms suck?

In this particular case, IMHO its more due to the fact that society thinks that women get sex anytime they want, so if they get a sex toy, its by choice, where as for guys, if they get sex toys, its because they are not being able to get the real thing, and hence they are losers.
"For women, sex is like garbage, they just need to put it outs, and it will autimatically be taken care of"

[Human]

I know that feeling. My guys, although they let Me try a little here and there on them...neither of them want the full treatment that I give one in this world.
So for Me, I will probably never really get to be who I am in here, in the outside world. But that's okay. *smile*

What full treatment are you referriing to ?

[Lady X]

I know that feeling. My guys, although they let Me try a little here and there on them...neither of them want the full treatment that I give one in this world.
So for Me, I will probably never really get to be who I am in here, in the outside world. But that's okay. *smile*

What full treatment are you referriing to ?

I mean, that they do not want spankings, or things like tying up thier balls and doing wicked things to those jewels.
They are okay with mild, very mild play...but not all that I would do, if they showed interest.

[wanker]

I know that feeling. My guys, although they let Me try a little here and there on them...neither of them want the full treatment that I give one in this world.
So for Me, I will probably never really get to be who I am in here, in the outside world. But that's okay. *smile*

What full treatment are you referriing to ?

I mean, that they do not want spankings, or things like tying up thier balls and doing wicked things to those jewels.
They are okay with mild, very mild play...but not all that I would do, if they showed interest.

Deny them orgasms for a week/month/ten times their norm and they will do anything you ask^^

[wanker]

I think it has a lot to do with stereotypes. I've thought heavily about that too, and it's more socially accepted for women to be seen sexually. Men are typically viewed as the "leaders" the "supporters" and the "Big, strong, tough guys". It's perfectly okay for women to wear makeup, get their nails done, sleep with other women, too. See a guy do that? He'd be crucified in short order.

Don't societal norms suck?

I think it's the opposite but yes, conventions in this regard suck. But knowing is half the battle right?

[CheerfullyInsane]

Man, I'm too busy to visit for a few days, and all sorts of interesting threads crop up.
Which either means that I should visit more often to follow the threads.....
Or alternatively stay away, since that seems to be conducive to the posting.....
Hmmm...Something to ponder
But I digress.

I think it has a lot to do with stereotypes. I've thought heavily about that too, and it's more socially accepted for women to be seen sexually. Men are typically viewed as the "leaders" the "supporters" and the "Big, strong, tough guys". It's perfectly okay for women to wear makeup, get their nails done, sleep with other women, too. See a guy do that? He'd be crucified in short order.

Don't societal norms suck?

Actually, I think it's okay for guys to sleep with women too.
However, while women may be more liable to be viewed as sexual objects, and thus be 'allowed' the preening involved, there's a line that can't be crossed.
Come on too slutty, and people will flee screaming.

As to whether social norms suck...... Well, I suppose they do to a point.
On the other hand, social norms are what define the society we live in. As mentioned by several others in this thread, people want to fit in. Sometimes that means they change, other times it means they seek out like-minded persons.
But one way to look at these norms is this; instead of thinking 'Man, I can't do that because society won't allow it'...... Stop to think that if you actually *could* do whatever it is, would you really want to?

Now, getting back to the subject matter do I ever wonder about other people and their sexual lives/roles?
Nope. For the simple reason that everytime I've done so, I have later on found out that I've been dead wrong.
Trying to figure people out just by looking at them and their actions is an exercise in futility as far as I'm concerned. It's about as easy as figuring out their taste in music by looking at their shoes.
Besides, if it's someone I know, it tends to get weird very quickly.
Take my brother for example. He has a wife and two kids so presumably they've had sex at least twice, and for all I know they could have a garage full of leather, spikeheels, floggers and a wooden horse.
Which is fine. But given a choice, I'd rather not know.

Final thing is a quote from Nancy Friday:
"When you see a woman in the subway with a dreamy look, and imagine her dreaming about her knight on a white stallion.....Consider that she may just be dreaming about the stallion."

CheerfullyInsane

[cal]

Lady X, you asked why I would be embarrased if some one found my fleshlight well it would be a friend or family. Call me either a private person, or shy, or a chicken but I don't want them to know about my sexual life. I enjoy sharing with you all here but there is no risk of meeting you nor would you judge me if I did.

Now as for those who have thought about getting one I say do it now they are awesome. You'll never use your hand again. A fleshlight will make completing web teases much more difficult.

Buy it from an adult store too. Going along with the original post you can dream up what all the other people are thinking. Is that woman watching me make the purchase think I'm a perv or is she going to ask for a demonstration.

My first tease and denial revolved around a Dom trying to get me to go to an adult toy store.

Cal

[Bindo]

your reply was not late. *warm smile*

I enjoyed reading your response. I like the way you look at people, and the world.

Thanks! That really made me smile - thank you. If I'm going to recieve a compliment, I'd like it to be for my viewpoint or observations. That's very important to me.

And likewise - I do enjoy reading your posts, even the completely not-dirty ones. I get the same impression - you're calm and attentive. It's always been good talking, is what I'm getting at.

Why do you think you worry so much? Do you know the cause of it?

Now that's a question I've been trying to answer for years. I was always a serious worrier, and deathly afraid of everything. My memories of childhood are coloured by the various fears and obstacles, and my personality is made up of ways I combated it. I am still a worrier and lapse into very low self-confidence. As for how it started, I don't really know. But I seem to have (finally) gotten over most of it now, so perhaps it's not important.


...

And now I'm afraid my hour is up!

[Lady X]

Deny them orgasms for a week/month/ten times their norm and they will do anything you ask^^

Well....I found another way.......just get them...well Hubby1, anyway, really hard.....and start asking him to call Me, Mistress and....well.....*grin*..............things worked out pretty freaking great.....for the first time. *wicked smile* Can't wait to see what next time brings.

[Lady X]

Now, getting back to the subject matter do I ever wonder about other people and their sexual lives/roles?
Nope. For the simple reason that everytime I've done so, I have later on found out that I've been dead wrong.
Trying to figure people out just by looking at them and their actions is an exercise in futility as far as I'm concerned. It's about as easy as figuring out their taste in music by looking at their shoes.
Besides, if it's someone I know, it tends to get weird very quickly.
Take my brother for example. He has a wife and two kids so presumably they've had sex at least twice, and for all I know they could have a garage full of leather, spikeheels, floggers and a wooden horse.
Which is fine. But given a choice, I'd rather not know.

Final thing is a quote from Nancy Friday:
"When you see a woman in the subway with a dreamy look, and imagine her dreaming about her knight on a white stallion.....Consider that she may just be dreaming about the stallion."

CheerfullyInsane

*hands on hips* Now what's wrong with dreaming about a sta........ohhhhhhhh............never mind....*blushing* *giggling*

I am much different than you.......I would LOVE to know........I hate closet doors and what they hide behind them. *grin*

[Lady X]

Lady X, you asked why I would be embarrased if some one found my fleshlight well it would be a friend or family. Call me either a private person, or shy, or a chicken but I don't want them to know about my sexual life. I enjoy sharing with you all here but there is no risk of meeting you nor would you judge me if I did.

Now as for those who have thought about getting one I say do it now they are awesome. You'll never use your hand again. A fleshlight will make completing web teases much more difficult.

Buy it from an adult store too. Going along with the original post you can dream up what all the other people are thinking. Is that woman watching me make the purchase think I'm a perv or is she going to ask for a demonstration.

My first tease and denial revolved around a Dom trying to get me to go to an adult toy store.

Cal

I think I choose to call you a private person. *soft smile* And how do you KNOW there is no risk of meeting Me. Perhaps I already know you...perhaps you live right down the street from Me. Perhaps you are the person I smile at, at Walmart......the man I make blush every time... *grin* Never know!

[Lady X]

Now that's a question I've been trying to answer for years. I was always a serious worrier, and deathly afraid of everything. My memories of childhood are coloured by the various fears and obstacles, and my personality is made up of ways I combated it. I am still a worrier and lapse into very low self-confidence. As for how it started, I don't really know. But I seem to have (finally) gotten over most of it now, so perhaps it's not important.
...
And now I'm afraid my hour is up!

Yes, it is.....now that will be $100.00 or 3 edges and a ruined orgasm please. *wicked smile*

And I disagree...it is important......even if you are finding ways to cope and find a way to put the fears and low self confidence behind you.......it's still a part of you...and always will be.....so it's important. *smile*