Feedback: Leaning Over The Edge

[cal]

Hey Everyone,

This is my first tease. Please let me know what you think. I would like to do more so tell me what I could improve on. I plan on a sequel give me suggestions for that also if you want.

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=7758

Thanks,

Cal

[Chico]

Excellent tease - this is just the sort I like. Quite long with plenty of variation
and really difficult and demanding. Well done and thanks a lot.

[cal]

Thank you for the review.

I really enjoyed making his tease. It did take a while but was so fun that the time passed very quickly. Once I am better at edging I will try it out for myself. I got really worked up just writting it I can only guess that participating in it will be awesome.

Cal

[vor]

Cal,
Great work! This is a really good tease, and i especially appreciate that it is literate, and that the tease story is well constructed. For me, that makes most if not all of the difference between the really good teases, and the ones that just don't work. Mood and pacing are critical, and you've used both very well.
To be honest, this was too much for me last night and i had to quit somewhere in the middle (i have no idea how much i missed). i was pretty excited though by the time i finally gave it up.
Please keep at this. You do an excellent tease, and we need more excellent tease here!

vor

[cal]

Thank you Vor for the encouragment. I'm planning on writting another tease this weekend. I have already picked out the pictures and have an outline of the basic story.

If you don't mind me asking what scene did you have to stop on? Was the tease too difficult? I hope you try again because the end is the best part IMO.

Cal