[Feedback] The Keyholder's Labyrinth

[eiendesu]

Apparently it seems that a lot of people disliked my first tease, do you have any suggestion on what to improve, ideas, and what will you want on the next tease?

[softspeak]

i am not one of the ones that didn't love the tease. i thought it is was very good. Thank you for your work and ideas. I am looking forward to a possible follow up tease. Thank you again!

[eiendesu]

i am not one of the ones that didn't love the tease. i thought it is was very good. Thank you for your work and ideas. I am looking forward to a possible follow up tease. Thank you again!

Thank you! I really appreciate it, do you have suggestions or ideas you want for the next tease?

[PlayfulGuy]

For what it's worth, I had a look at the tease to check it out, but didn't finish it, or rate it.
Please take what follows as constructive feedback, based on my experience.

I think the tease description could have been a little more descriptive of what to expect.
It says the tease is based on chastity, which is not really my thing, but I can work with it.
However the tease very quickly jumps into sph, and humiliation in general, which are most definitely not my thing.

Also, I didn't know the answer to the riddle at the start, and didn't care to think about it or google it, so I basically would have been punished for not getting it, and it was implied that I was stupid for not getting it, and I was again accused of having a "pathetic small dick", and "pathetic balls". All of that was in the first couple minutes, and that's where it ended for me.

No tease is going to be suitable for everyone, but from what I saw of it your implementation looked good, the writing/spelling/grammar was better than average.

I also appreciated that I could click through the dialog to read at a pace comfortable for me. So many teases lately have you waiting endlessly for no good reason.

I would suggest trying to find an image set that is more consistent. In this one the model is in different clothes in every image which for me is kind of disconcerting, or jarring. Not sure what word I'm looking for there.

Personally I like teases that focus more on control, controlling my stroking and edging, and keeping me addicted through pleasure.

Hope that helps,

PG

[shadows]

I cant be sure, but I think part of the low rating stems from having a Patreon attached to the tease, especially since it is your first tease and is relatively short. People can be prickly about things like that, even though I agree with creators being compensated for their work, and have supported multiple creators' Patreons personally. Don't get discouraged by the ratings. I thought your tease was well written and showed some good humor, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with next!

[eiendesu]

For what it's worth, I had a look at the tease to check it out, but didn't finish it, or rate it.
Please take what follows as constructive feedback, based on my experience.

I think the tease description could have been a little more descriptive of what to expect.
It says the tease is based on chastity, which is not really my thing, but I can work with it.
However the tease very quickly jumps into sph, and humiliation in general, which are most definitely not my thing.

Also, I didn't know the answer to the riddle at the start, and didn't care to think about it or google it, so I basically would have been punished for not getting it, and it was implied that I was stupid for not getting it, and I was again accused of having a "pathetic small dick", and "pathetic balls". All of that was in the first couple minutes, and that's where it ended for me.

No tease is going to be suitable for everyone, but from what I saw of it your implementation looked good, the writing/spelling/grammar was better than average.

I also appreciated that I could click through the dialog to read at a pace comfortable for me. So many teases lately have you waiting endlessly for no good reason.

I would suggest trying to find an image set that is more consistent. In this one the model is in different clothes in every image which for me is kind of disconcerting, or jarring. Not sure what word I'm looking for there.

Personally I like teases that focus more on control, controlling my stroking and edging, and keeping me addicted through pleasure.

Hope that helps,

PG

Yes, you're absolutely right, I think i'll edit the descriptions later and I'll think something about stroking and edging too. Thank you for your suggestions

[eiendesu]

I cant be sure, but I think part of the low rating stems from having a Patreon attached to the tease, especially since it is your first tease and is relatively short. People can be prickly about things like that, even though I agree with creators being compensated for their work, and have supported multiple creators' Patreons personally. Don't get discouraged by the ratings. I thought your tease was well written and showed some good humor, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with next!

I'm glad you liked it, well you're right, probably asking for a patreon was too much

[kerkersklave]

I've played your tease and rated it 4, because it is quite complex for a first tease and it had such a bad rating. Usually I would probably rate it 3. I think, the reason for the tease being rated so low are not in its quality, but in certain details. Many boring teases are rated quite highly even if they are quite boring as long as they allow you to easily look at a bunch of hot pictures. So don't focus too much on ratings anyway. The issues with your tease probably are:
- the riddle very early in the tease. The riddle barely makes sense (I didn't get it but looked at the solution), people might quit their or think they missed a lot of content with no chance of seeing it. I think hard challenges in teases are exciting, but it has to be possible to solve, and it is very hard to get this one on the first try or even at all because it barely makes sense. At hard tasks that block something should be repeatable and not right at the start.
- your title says it is a labyrinth. Labyrinths or mazes are very popular, but your tease does not contain that at all. So people might have been disappointed
- your tease is pure chastity, I think most people do prefer some teasing, I personally do not like it either
I don't think a patreon link behind some credits-button is a problem. As long as you do not restrict the content, people will not care. You probably won't make money either.

I like that you tried to put a lot of different ideas into the tease. For me to be exciting it would have to focus on teasing instead of chastity, be much longer and a bit more polished. But you seem to have EOS figured out, so it is a good start.

[ValhallaDrengr]

Is there an answer to the riddle, or is just an auto fail? Otherwise, the tease is great. Wonderful first try at this.

[eiendesu]

I've played your tease and rated it 4, because it is quite complex for a first tease and it had such a bad rating. Usually I would probably rate it 3. I think, the reason for the tease being rated so low are not in its quality, but in certain details. Many boring teases are rated quite highly even if they are quite boring as long as they allow you to easily look at a bunch of hot pictures. So don't focus too much on ratings anyway. The issues with your tease probably are:
- the riddle very early in the tease. The riddle barely makes sense (I didn't get it but looked at the solution), people might quit their or think they missed a lot of content with no chance of seeing it. I think hard challenges in teases are exciting, but it has to be possible to solve, and it is very hard to get this one on the first try or even at all because it barely makes sense. At hard tasks that block something should be repeatable and not right at the start.
- your title says it is a labyrinth. Labyrinths or mazes are very popular, but your tease does not contain that at all. So people might have been disappointed
- your tease is pure chastity, I think most people do prefer some teasing, I personally do not like it either
I don't think a patreon link behind some credits-button is a problem. As long as you do not restrict the content, people will not care. You probably won't make money either.

I like that you tried to put a lot of different ideas into the tease. For me to be exciting it would have to focus on teasing instead of chastity, be much longer and a bit more polished. But you seem to have EOS figured out, so it is a good start.

I'll try better next time to add some teasing

[eiendesu]

Is there an answer to the riddle, or is just an auto fail? Otherwise, the tease is great. Wonderful first try at this.

The answer is "password"

[imtoosexy]

Wonderful first try. I side with Playfulguy on most comments.


Also I thought the video with sound was very good and it was a generally good story.

You could try gaining support by:

description

Spoiler: show

A description setting expectations better, like your mistress expecting your best behavior if you want to watch her while she has her boyfriend over.

Riddle

Spoiler: show

The password could be too much of a wall and could use a button for not knowing in the same page.

Typing game

Spoiler: show

Keeping the typing game inside the tease. With not not everyone being open to links outside of milovana, especially from a new account and a first upload.

Image set

Spoiler: show

Copy paste your tease to another set of images and having a choice of mistress as not everyone likes Chinese girls

Adding more codes

Spoiler: show

Also moving forward on the tease even if codes or passwords are wrong, currently the say thank you page routes back to itsself unless you type it correctly. By adding more codes, or routing wrong answers forward even after failing a few times. The thank you could use some more codes, like
"thank you, misstress"
"Thank you, mistress"
"Thank you, goddess"
"Thank You Mistress"
"Thank you Mistress!"
" thank you, misstres"
"TY mistress"
or just
"Thank you" which could lead to another route where she corrects you and routes to the punishing page after.

For some reason I only passed the page when I copy pasted it,

If you don't like the multiple passwords for passing a page, you could also route it to a copy paste of the password page, but pass the second one even if the answer was wrong, just so you keep the flow forward in your tease.

for example

Spoiler: show

page 1
say thank you
< wrong answer [go to page2]
< right answer [go to page 5]

page 2
punishment
[go to page 3]

page 3
say thank you
< wrong answer [go to page4]
< right answer [go to page 5]

page 4
punishment
[go to page 5]

page 5
continue story

[Tury]

I gave it a 3. Not because it wan't creative, but because it was kinda short and univolved. I think you could have spent some more time with the intro. Her intentions, her reasoning, what to expect from failure. Just a few more pages to set the scene. Also, the sections are brief. I'm sure that the animated sex was hell to do, but after getting the riddle correct, and then doing the typing task fairly quickly, it felt like not much happened, and then it ended.

I love the ideas you used, and the interactivity was fun. As well, I love the idea of the animations. I didn't think it COULD be done. It's a good first attempt but "more" needs to happen.

[Sissy Lucas]

Hi. I did the writeforme task 3 times and didnt got the fucking code! Could you give it to me and the others that didnt got the code? I gave you feedback on writeforme as tech!