[Feedback] Release of "Your Life in Chastity (Month 1 Week 1)" by NonJu

[NonJu]

Feel free to submit everything that comes to your mind about this tease. It is my first one and still under development.
Day 1 is finished and released.

NonJu

[perik43]

Hi,
Thank you for your start of your tease. I like that there is a story and based on Milovana. I maybe think that the text appear and disapear a tiny too fast, i got a litle stressed to read everything before next text come on the screen. Well maybe wait a few sec more when there are much text to read. The stroking and cum was very fast, but i guess this is a tease that goes over multiple days and you wanted us to start with an orgasm?
Finally im not a big fan of code things, because then i need to write it down until next day, but i understand why you do it.

[NonJu]

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that.

For me personally, I don't like the teases without a story. It's not immersive. I always needed a story in porn and without it it just feels empty. That's why I really like the teases from shattered, because they even follow each other, kinda. But yeah. I have an ambitious goal with this. I hope I don't give up .

More specifically, I thought a little bit more about it. When you get introduced to all characters, or in the meantime, maybe post who is your favourite and who is your least favourite character. So I can make more about it.


Fixes:
1. About the reading speed. Well, I based everything on my speed and put 1 second on top of it. I delayed now everything for additional 2 seconds. I hope that now it is better to read.
2. The cumming was intended to be short. But now i gave it a more "cohesive story".

Answers:
1. What I want is up to you. This has a few branches but a definitive of 2 endings for the second day. It is choice based, so no pressure to do something what you don't wanna do.
2. Ok ok. I can understand it. I have a folder for the Milovana codes myself . I like it, because that makes it a little bit more twisty, I would say.

Maybe help?:
My only grip is, that I don't get it, of how to do more codes into one code site. I am scratching my head. I have now 3 codes and on the "Codes"-site I still can only type-in one. Also, a reset code/button would be nice. But I don't know how to do it. It is my first time with something like that, so please be gentle.
*The code in code thing did I found out. Only the reset button would be nice .

[Daragorn]

The premise (and the chosen girl) are definitely intriguing and i am gonna keep an eye on this for sure when new chapters come out....sadly this one ended right when things were getting really interesting ahaha

[PandaDark8]

On one of the lines:

Spoiler: show

"Don't be scared. I am not judging you. Everyone has a certain fetish or fantasy. That is not the problem. The problem is only there if you harm someone with your action."

This line took over 30+ seconds (I think almost a full minute) for it to continue that I thought it was broken. I hit 'space', 'enter', and clicked around thinking I missed something or that the tease was broken. It feels a bit extreme for me to say this, but this line being so long to progress between lines nearly made me not want to continue playing the tease.

Overall, this tease has so much promise and I really want to like it, but the reading speed for me (personally) felt too slow for me to find it enjoyable.

Possible Suggestion:
Perhaps you can add the option where the user can click/hit space to move onto the next piece of dialogue, similar to how Shattered's teases allows you to hit spacebar to show the next line. This way, you can still keep the slower pacing that you originally intended, but still have flexibility to allow users to progress at their own pace.

[sub3604]

when is the next part the code doesn't seem to do anything ?

[schefflera0101]

Hey NonJu
Very nice tease. Nice story and concept.
I'm not a nativ english speaker and even for me it was a bit too slow.
Pacing is always a problem.
Everyone has a different reading speed. One finds it too fast, another too slow.
Why don't you set the timing to “pause” for longer texts without stroking or similar. That way, everyone can decide for themselves how fast or slow they want to read.
When it comes to "action" you can set timers there again to build up the tension.

Maybe help?:
My only grip is, that I don't get it, of how to do more codes into one code site. I am scratching my head. I have now 3 codes and on the "Codes"-site I still can only type-in one. Also, a reset code/button would be nice. But I don't know how to do it. It is my first time with something like that, so please be gentle.
*The code in code thing did I found out. Only the reset button would be nice .

The way you have done it should also work for more than just 3 codes. You can also use more than one prompt. code1, code2,... for example.
I see you don't use teaseStorage, so what do you mean with a reset button?

[NonJu]

Until now, thank you for all your comments. Feedback is really important for me.

But I have to say, I am really thankful and slightly shocked, that it was so well received, for just Day 1. I even got private messages about it. Thank you . Now I am definitely motivated for more .


So, about your posts:

PandaDark8:
That line with over 30 seconds+ was sadly a slip on my part. I accidently marked it with 113 seconds, instead of 13 seconds . I don't know how that happened. But I saw that for myself I think at 1 a.m. and fixed it.

Don't give up on me, just because of the reading speed or the slip . That's why feedback is important. I based it a little bit about real life to, because not everyone speaks like a rocket. But your suggestion about the skip button is a good idea, for people who likes it a bit more fast. I will implement it, not on every page, but I will do it, when Day 2 comes out, as a fix.


sub3604:
Yeah, the codes do not function, because they are for Day 2 and Day 2 isn't out yet. In the tease there is message that for now only Day 1 is finished (without the skip button fix). Day 2 will come out this week, if my work does not come into my freetime.


schefflera:
I am not an english native speaker myself. I am from germany. I think you too? Because in "Rocksy's Toy" you can change the language to german.

So if I am doing on one page two prompts, then there would still just one line appear to write and the "If" still does everything for both prompts?
And how the hell do you see, if I am using the "TeaseStorage" or not? If I activate it, than everything like the "name" will be saved, right? So for Day 2 the "name" should be transferred. I hope so .
With the reset button/code I mean, when you want to start from fresh and delete everything saved. So you can do a reboot try.

But something else. I am a big fan of your work. It wouldn't come to my mind, that YOU would like something I did, even though I didn't do that much. Heck, even that you would write me. I am quite overwhelmed because of this.
I really liked "Teaching you a lesson". Very well written. "Rocksy's Toy" was a nice tease, but too hard for me to finish. But my favourite was "edge slave training". I even finished it. I was so proud of myself, because edging is not my biggest strength .
I will always look forward for your teases. Keep up your good work .

[Shattered]

I recommend auto-play with Allow user to skip the wait personally. Milovana does a pretty good job at estimating how long you need to read something but letting you skip lets fast readers skip ahead - and make sure each page ends with a continue button so slower readers can catch up.

Good luck with it

[schefflera0101]

I recommend auto-play with Allow user to skip the wait personally. Milovana does a pretty good job at estimating how long you need to read something but letting you skip lets fast readers skip ahead - and make sure each page ends with a continue button so slower readers can catch up.

Good luck with it

I totally agree with that.

So if I am doing on one page two prompts, then there would still just one line appear to write and the "If" still does everything for both prompts?
And how the hell do you see, if I am using the "TeaseStorage" or not? If I activate it, than everything like the "name" will be saved, right? So for Day 2 the "name" should be transferred. I hope so .
With the reset button/code I mean, when you want to start from fresh and delete everything saved. So you can do a reboot try.

Well, you can do as many prompts as you want. Just be sure to name them differently. And the prompts can only be set one after another. (not two or more in one line)
If you use one prompt (for example a code), just use different "if's" in a row (without an "else"). At the end of the page you can write the "else".

You can look "behind the scenes" of every tease you want:

Spoiler: show

https://milovana.com/eos/editor/xxxxx/edit
type the Webtease number instead of the xxxxx. You're welcome to look at mine. (For example Rocksy's toy:) https://milovana.com/eos/editor/57971/edit

Usually variables will not be saved. If you want one (e.g. the name) to be saved you need to write the eval teaseStorage.setItem("name", name)
In the init script you have to tell the program to load that variable:
name = teaseStorage.getItem("name") || "Chris"

I'm looking forward to see more from you.

[LexiTV]

You could improve the grammar... there are quite a few mistakes.
The text is WAY too slow. The game is tiny and the amount of text is very low... by making the user wait 20 seconds to wait a 5 word sentence may make your gamer longer... but also WAY WORSE. Really hard to even finish this time game.
The first introductory mistress acts and talks like a schoolgirl and not like a mistress... Really unfitting character & overall bad writing. I am 1000% sure that such a classy mistress would not talk like you wrote... for example "hihi"....

I liked the overall idea though... but the execution and writing is very bad imo.
Try to improve the prologue instead of going for new content first.

[NonJu]

Thanks for the replies guys.

First of all schefflera:
Thank you very much for the help! It worked. Just for the record, I am an absolute noob in programming/coding, so I will still have my struggle, but these tips helped my problem definitely. So thank you very much .

That with the "behind-the-scenes-editor" is kinda nice, but spoilery too. It has pro's and con's. But good to know that. I checked a few teases out with this, which helped me too and got me confused even more . I will find my way and I will try my best.


shattered:
Damn, I didn't think that my biggest idol here would reply in this tease. I feel honored. I really like so many of your teases, especially the first Bokki Tease Club (that I properly finished) and Faux Choices. I replayed so many over and over again. You definitely found your passion.

After you are the second to write that, about the skip, with schefflera's backup call now too, I will definitely implement it with the release of Day 2.


LexiTV:
Damn, your comment did hurt a little, but that's valide. Critisism is important and I take note of that. I will make it a little faster now again, like it was at the beginning.

With the "talking like a schoolgirl", I don't know about that. I am in the BDSM scene and there are many different types of mistresses and doms. And most of them are actually very "normal" or more like "sweetly protective", not "classy". It may breake the fantasy, but for what I witnessed, that's the reality. I was shocked about that too... . It depends on the person, but sure, they play the character of the dominant personality if needed or when it's the time. But everyone is different. I saw in my lifetime 2 doms who where very brutal, one of them like scarily brutal.

About the "hihi". That is actually a big debate in the writing community. On one hand, people hate it and only want descriptive sentences about the status. Other's really like it and put in a "haha", "hihi", "heh", "huh" etc. Just to make it a little more lively. Onomatopoeia is not everyones thing, because it can sound like a fictional piece of art, like a comic. Kōhei Horikoshi in Boku no Hero Academia use that alot, as well as J.K. Rowling for the Wizarding World. Eiichirō Oda use one unique and distinctive laugh for almost each individual character in One Piece. It's a trademark of his work. So, it depends.

But that is my tease and I will definitely not change that, but I will not overuse it, because I am not the biggest fan of it. I want to spice just the things more up, so not everything sounds like the same and with that I can give my characters more depth.
Except the critisism about that goes overboard, than I will consider it to change that.

But because you didn't like that, I will change that about her and cut the "hihi" out. You want her more classy, maybe she will be.
But, is she reallys classy? We don't know yet .

I would have really liked to check one of your teases, so I can see how you would write things, but sadly you don't have one. Do one. I would really like to check it out!

Ah, and please tell me the grammar mistakes, so I can fix them. English is not my native language, like I stated earlier.

When Day 2 comes out you can decide if you will like it or not. That's on you. I am not a fan of every tease here about chastity myself. I don't like many, because of the writing. Everyone is different and not everyone likes everything. I'll hope I can get you to like it with Day 2. I will try my best!


Greetings, NonJu.

[sub3604]

Hi can I add as this tease is taking a long time (which is fine) perhaps it would be better if you removed it from public view so when it reappears we know it is finished as It seems only day one is available and because it is there we keep having to check

[NonJu]

Hi, thanks for your reply.
I know what you mean and it is totally fine, but I am not gonna do that. It isn't finished, so per se the marketing is quite not right, that's true, but I have a certain plan for this and that's why I want to do it from day to day.
There are many teases who are not finished here, sadly, but so be it.

I'm on it, I swear. But I am just a normal guy, with a normal job and sadly a normal life and that's why I don't have the time to do everything fast at once. It was "just" Day 1 and the critic was almost positive, which for me is overwhelming, because I didn't see that coming, but it gives me a boost to do it for real. It will just take time. Sorry about that part....

You don't have to check "every day", if it is finished. Just look at the front page in the tease or more so just the surface of the tease list. There is the text for the tease and a note: "This is a longer tease about 2 C's: Chastity and Choices. It is my first tease. So feedback will be appreciated. Have fun! *Day 1 got fixed on more certain things."

The marked part is a thing in which I mark something important. I will write there with an * when Day 2 is finished. And I will change the surface a little bit so, so it does not get confusing anymore. Sorry for the problems . That was my responsibility.

So just check the surface on the list, if there is a new note with a *.

Greetings, NonJu.

[NonJu]

Hello guys.
I am still working on Day 2, but in the meantime I fixed the problem with the speed. It is faster now.
Also, certain parts in the story can be skipped/clicked. So it is not always automatic.

NonJu