[Discussion] Turned off by boy/girl as a straight male

[Dips]

I wanted to open a conversation about something that I've learnt about my own sexuality specifically when it comes to porn.
As a straight male (23m) I don't watch any porn where there is a another guy involved. Just something about another dude fucking a girl is a big turn-off for me, maybe its my jealousy taking over. I do enjoy the typical POV type stuff where the woman use a dildo but not if it is the POV from a male actor. From what I can tell this is not something most guys experience, not that I have asked around much which is why I'm giving it a shot here out of my own curiosity. It doesn't really cause me any problems in life other than limiting what porn I'm into Specifically gotten into cock heroes lately but there are very few that feature girls only that isn't completely non-nude softcore. Anyway.

So my question is, does anyone else experience the same? If so have you given it any thought as to what specific mentality would cause this? Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

PS; This is my first post here and English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake or if this is not the place to share this.

[SlenderSissyNewbie]

So my question is, does anyone else experience the same? If so have you given it any thought as to what specific mentality would cause this? Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

I know the feeling, but for me it is especialy true with man, that I don't find attractive. I often fantasize about beeing the girl in any given porn, so I think your motivation might be different. I hate male privilege, so it's especialy problematic, if I don't consider a guy worthy. Why can't there be more yummy well-groomed man more on the feminine side in porn.

Anyway for me the solution was trans porn (often referred as shemale, but that's a bit offensive term). Why don't you give it a try, I especially love trans-women fucking men (if they look good[see above]) or cis-women.

But my experience may differ since I'm pansexual. I'd do the right guy or let him do me.

Just my grain of thoughts.

By the way: Your English is fine.

[Augustulus]

Hey and welcome

I wanted to open a conversation about something that I've learnt about my own sexuality specifically when it comes to porn.
As a straight male (23m) I don't watch any porn where there is a another guy involved. Just something about another dude fucking a girl is a big turn-off for me, maybe its my jealousy taking over. I do enjoy the typical POV type stuff where the woman use a dildo but not if it is the POV from a male actor. From what I can tell this is not something most guys experience, not that I have asked around much which is why I'm giving it a shot here out of my own curiosity. It doesn't really cause me any problems in life other than limiting what porn I'm into Specifically gotten into cock heroes lately but there are very few that feature girls only that isn't completely non-nude softcore. Anyway.

So my question is, does anyone else experience the same? If so have you given it any thought as to what specific mentality would cause this? Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

PS; This is my first post here and English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake or if this is not the place to share this.

you're definitely not alone with this. I was watching only porn including girls for a really long time. At some point I got into BBC fetish and this changed my behavior a little bit, but I still mostly enjoy solo videos of girls. Over the years I narrowed down what it is for me that lets me enjoy male on female scenes less. Surprisingly it is not the depiction of "normal" sex or other men being around, no, it is simply muscular persons. For me it's just a big turn off if someone, male or female, shows off a very muscular body.
And regarding mentality: I think this is the wrong approach. It's more about your fetishes than any "mental state" in my opinion.
Additionally I know of some other people that also enjoy mostly females only porn, we're definitely not alone with this.
So, what I can tell you from my experience is the following: If you feel fine with your "limitations", then just keep enjoying it, don't let yourself influence from someone calling your preferences "not normal" and if you feel curious about trying out something new, it's always possible to "train" yourself to a new fetish and learn to enjoy it even if you feel unsure about it at first.

Now, regarding cock heroes: I don't know what "softcore" for you is exactly as it's kind of a blurry term, but I would recommend you the RedLightGreenLight series from digitalparkinglot as they are mostly solo girls or girl on girl and if there are men involved they are mostly in a pov perspective, so at most the cock is visible. There is still a lot of nudity in them, but of course they are more sensual held overall, so often referred to as softcore.
Here is a link to one of them: viewtopic.php?t=21442
You should be able to find the other ones here at the forum, too.

Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

This is of course also true for me, so feel free to ask if you're interested in some aspects in more details.

Augustulus

[Ghingis]

So my question is, does anyone else experience the same? If so have you given it any thought as to what specific mentality would cause this? Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

I know what you are speaking of, human taste can be really peculiar.
Luckily I have no issue with POV vids whether a male or a toy.
So I'm a bit more lucky than you I guess in this regard.
But watching another man fuck a woman from a 3rd person view is a lot more often than not a turn off for me as well.
Lately, I found out that trans on girl is also fine for me, even in 3rd person view.

What always ruins a video for me is when the screen is filled with a cock cuming on a face or what's visible from that face..
I already have a dick that wants to cum I don't want to see an other
A seen like that, almost an instant boner kill..

edit:
Couple of CHs that I really enjoyed:
Cock Hero - Softcore Collaboration 3
EmoArt Two
Emotion - One (there are 2 more episodes)
Ultimate Edging Challenge - Massage Edition

[Electro]

I'm turned on by women and not by men and prefer seeing only women. I don't mind a guy being in a flick if it's non-nude and it is in line with my kinks such as bondage, S&M, and in some cases with master/slave, but I feel like when there is a penis present that it seems like the film is trying to make that the showcase, even though that's probably not the intent.

I think a bigger part of all of this is I'm not all that interested in having sex(penis in vagina) in general, I usually prefer all of the rest of what is involved with appearance, intimacy, romance, relationships, and kink but sex isn't really a huge driver for me, so seeing the act of sex isn't a huge turn on because it's not generally my top goal.

I find it interesting that there's a ton of porn out there with a guy who is completely the opposite of the chick when it comes to attractive traits, you've got a 18+ to 20 something chick who is thin with a gray haired guy who's overweight, from a production standpoint you'd think a studio would aim for both to meet the same qualities but I think often porn is frequently mediocre or lesser dudes wanting to have sex and offering money via the porn sales and making some for themselves at the same time instead of it being a porn studio, but even with that being said many of the huge porn studios seem to have guys that are old, unattractive, or have either a faint or not-so-faint non-consensual vibe to their videos(when it's not as an intended kink portrayal). We all view things differently, often through the lens of how we would behave and think others should behave though, so I'm not saying others would watch the same videos and feel the same way. My opinion might also be colored by having roughly a dozen friends either in porn production, pro-domme, dom/domme as hobby, or participating in both porn/non-porn of those realms. I've heard stories of people who tried to push the boundaries of the consent discussion that happened before the porn shoot during the porn shoot or who didn't fully inform of the intent of the bondage device or how it would be used, as an example.

[derrickx757]

I am a straight male and I only view women masturbation porn. I hate seeing men in any scene, I feel the same way about the teases as well.

[Jassinov]

I can definitely relate to SlenderSissyNewbie's view on how (cis-)men present themselves as well. As a genderfluid bi-/pansexual person, I am always baffled how low the bar often times is when it comes to good behavior/hygiene/sexual skills with male-presenting people.
Also have to agree to the points that others already mentioned - it's completely normal. This is also aligns very much with Emily Nagoski's take that basically every preference/behavior is normal when it comes to sex (if you don't know her, she's a brilliant sex educator and scientist. Can recommend, whole-heartedly). And especially: if it does not harm anyone, in particular you, in this case, it's also not really an issue, now is it?

Still: I thought it was very interesting that you mentioned your jealousy. If I were to experience something like that, I think I would try to get to the bottom of this and maybe think about whether there might be an additional reason besides the preferences (society, upbringing with friends/family/school, maybe some influencers that I follow, the list goes on...).

[throwawayacct]

I had a huge response but walked away and was logged out. Here's a shorter version before i get back to real life...

There has always been an age discrepancy in porn, and some of it is technical while some is content-driven, and the rest is just cultural. Older male talent tends to be more reliable, professional, and longevity in adult entertainment tends to filter out actors who have women not wanting to work with them for whichever reason. A lot of the time, a woman wouldn't know who she's to shoot with until arriving - this has changed fairly recently - and if it was someone they had a bad experience with, or who had a harmful reputation, she wouldn't want to shoot. Leading to cancels or worse, coerced performances, and the latter resulting in a lesser-quality scene than had the actors been more connected.

Younger men in porn get into the drug scene, are unreliable to show up on time and sober, or at all, and there is a much smaller pool of talent for studios to work with. A woman who no-shows or fucks up gets replaced in an hour, and very quickly gets told to sort their shit or get lost. Mandy Muse comes to mind - a hiatus and getting it together at least enough to be more reliable of a performer has seen her re-emergence. The disappearance of Skyler Vox, who was looking primed to be the next big thing, is the other side compared to (purportedly) a consummate pro like Angela White.

When it comes to the men...they get more leeway because there are fewer to pull from, and have to be egregiously over the top to get blacklisted - James Deen and Ryan Madison as examples - partly due to how our culture treats women and sexual predators, partly because they were mechanically reliable. Remember it's a business, and if talent on either side threatens profit margin, they are out.

I also think the rise in incest porn has carved out the mirror of the MILF category for aging male talent. Men are also allowed to age, where women on screen have to stay early-20's for as long as their plastic surgeon and makeup artist can keep it up.

I've never been able to watch BDSM content with a male dominant. I find much of it straight up abusive, talentless, blunt-instrument and no psychological aspect, all physical. It takes no talent to just beat on someone and stuff objects in holes. The genre lends itself to a whole host of potential and horrific abuses, and I find 99% of the male-dom scenes out there to be predatory and disturbing in a way that makes my skin crawl. Compare to fem-dom scenes - less about brutality and overpowering a submissive, sadism carrying a psychological component, and seems to be far less liable to contain real abuse. Compare scenes from the now-defunct Insex to those of Gwen Media or Bob Zak's films. Just a note - "light dom" stuff where the female performer is clearly enjoying a scene, or topping from the bottom, are notable exceptions...I fucking love Scarlet Chase, for example.

I've been fortunate enough to have a session with Rubberella herself, and as thrilled as I was to explore my masochistic side physically, the mental aspects she brought to domination are what stayed with me long after. She's definitely more intimate in her live sessions than on film, but even though her sadism carries the physical components, I was far more challenged mentally - and I feel like that is a defining characteristic in delineating male-dom from fem-dom content.

IRL, I'm one to actively challenge and dismantle the Pahalniuk/Bukowski-esque parts of my male psyche; I'm a switch and so is my partner, and I find I get the most pleasure in a session or vanilla night based on how/what my partner is experiencing. I would safely venture this extends to how I view adult content, and also why trans performers like Natalie Mars have an appeal despite my usual preferences in that category being toward the hyper-sexualised (big implants, bimbo features) feminine.