Okay, let's do this.
Nice-Log wrote: Thu Jun 08, 2023 6:00 pm
I just published my second tease: Emily's Extreme Business Trip!
So first off, congratulations, you somehow managed to beat your previous tease (which is one of my all time favourites despite having several themes I'm not really interested in) - this tease is fleshed out, interesting, long, challenging, did I mention long, and just generally awesome (almost) all-around. There's variety, both in pictures and in tasks, and it's just generally improved in (again, almost) every way compared to the Beach Vacation one.
Even the cbt was integrated so well (and sparse enough) that I followed along for story purposes, despite normally ignoring parts like that.
I particularly liked your changes to the longer edges - splitting them up so you can switch pictures and so I don't know how long it is despite using cheat mode.
However, most of my feedback is going to be SPOILER HEAVY, so I'll hide it away:
- Spoiler: show
-
I'll go through things twice, talking about what I thought - once with a focus on gameplay, once with a focus on the story(which I feel is a high point on your two teases, though I didn't particularly like the tonal shift between the last game and this one).
A few disclaimers before I start
-I ignore anything that's got something to do with chastity/denial. I'm aware this is a major theme of the tease, but I'm just really not into it, and the tease is great even without those parts
-This means I played... idk, 4h straight? And that's with using preview mode to half most of the pure-stroking times, and even skip a small part of the edges. It was difficult.
-This tease is amazing, but it feels weird to repeat that all the time, so I'll mostly focus on the mediocre parts(because there were very few actually negative ones, for me)
-I chose the standard ending choice at the beginning.(I've gotten all of the endings in Beach Vacation)
- as for my progress: I succeeded with Skye and Alannah, and failed with Kayle
My feedback on Gameplay:
Everything up to Skye
- mostly normal teasing, well done all around.
Skye
- an interesting challenge, and well executed to boot. Only a small demerit: This is the only part that could have used a bit more picture-swapping - unless you make a specific in-story point of it, or at least have voicelines, staring at the same picture for up to 2 min at a time isn't the most interesting.
- it may have been made a bit too easy for me because I can always hear a clock ticking in my room, so I knew pretty much exactly how long I had to hold
Kayle
- the 'going soft' thing was interesting for a bit, and I didn't even come close to succeeding at the challenge.
- However, it would have taken ages if I'd actually gone soft between each - something which takes me 1-2 min each time, and it was getting annoying after a while.
- the punishment for failing was interesting, and not too long to overstay its welcome
Alannah
- I liked her challenge, even if it may have been a bit too easy considering how worked up I already was at that point.
Mirranda semi-final
- fun all around, with particularly nice pictures
- well done loop - I didn't even notice it was one in the beginning
Final 1a (enter without calling anybody, tell Miranda you can go on)
- awesome. Once again, well done teasing, and a loop with a good amount of variety (is the length of the loop random, too?)
- ending: triple-ruin. As someone that enjoys ruining and multi-ruins, especially when I don't expect it, this was awesome. Though I never stop on a ruin, so I went to get a second ending as well. (Trip extended ending(B))
Final 1b (enter without calling anybody, tell Miranda to please stop)
- same as 1a
- ending: single ruin, 'Freedom(A)' ending
Final 2a (call Skye, succeed at Emily's edge)
- same as final 1, but with skye interrupt
- emily's ending scene is cool - but damn, that's a long edge. How long is it? 3 minutes? 4? - Cum with Ending C(back to work)(the good ending?). This is where I stopped, though I went back to check what happened when you gave up, too.
Final 2b (call Skye, give up at Emily's edge)
- same as final 2a
- ruin + cei ending, ending C
Summary:
-gameplay is awesome, actually was struggling to find things to improve. Hoping there’s a pot ending somewhere in there.
That's all I've played so far, though I fully intend on going back to get all (or at least, most) of the other variations. I may be putting to much on you, but I'm expecting something as good as Beach Vacation's 'perfect ending' for this one.
Now, for the Story feedback:
-The beginning was nice, and teased the new characters well
-The threat to have it be an entire weak of chastity was interesting, even if it became obvious fairly soon that just meant it wouldn't be Emily doing the teasing.
-At the beginning I was like 'yeah, that third, 'secret' friend is totally Emily who's in to this stuff', which lifted my spirits, but sadly, that was not the case
-All in all, I disliked the whole blackmail/coercion/semi-mind-break plot, and feel like you could have done better with something like Emily being in on it/struggling to decide between being a dom and a sub for her old dom. However, this is likely influenced by me really disliking non-con/blackmail/etc stuff.
Summary:
-the story feels way more fleshed out than the Beach vacation one, as well as better executed, though the ending felt a bit rushed, and it felt somewhat less realistic than the first part
-however, I feel like you could have done better by keeping the more wholesome tone from the Beach vacation, though obviously the story would have had to be very different then
(I had a longer review, but it ate my draft and I couldn’t be bothered to go into that much detail again)
Well, this turned out to be a bit long - but I hope this shows you that your effort is appreciated, and encourages you in whatever you may do in the future!
Also, do you happen to have a list of endings/paths/ending variations? The tease isn't convoluted to make searching for them
too bad, but I'd still like to know how to avoid missing one - a work like this deserves to be completed 100%.
In summary, thank you for your effort and work, and I hope to see more of you in the future!
