[Preview] [Feedback] THE EVIL STEP MOMMY

[ritewriter]

Greeting!,

I finally finished my “learner” tease and it ended up being rather huge. It’s in the style of TRIALS OF THE SUCCUBI, a choose-your-own-adventure tease with many branching paths to allow multiple unique play throughs.

Here it is for a sneak preview and beta test. Please enjoy:

https://milovana.com/webteases/showteas ... 3dea04d34c

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Stepmother/stepson incest, humiliation, chastity, pegging, forced bi elements, bad humor. Not all of which will appear in every play through. If you’ve ever read my Darkest-Muses captions, content is similar.

I’m planning a v2 eventually with even more content and tailored endings, but I wanted to finish a playable version.

I’m sure there are many mistakes, so please let me know what you find.

Thanks!


PS

If you haven’t read my caps, they’re here:

https://www.reddit.com/u/ritewriterer/? ... ame=iossmf

https://darkest-muses.bdsmlr.com/

[edger477]

Lol I got The Graduate :)
+1 for creating a tease with a path I'd choose, I did not expect that

[ritewriter]

Spoiler: show

Hah, you actually won. I’m glad that’s possible. I wasn’t sure.

Hopefully you enjoyed it. Please let me know if you found any issues.

[RandomName]

I mean, it's not my cup of tea but I gave it a shot since I really enjoy the more cyoa ones.

My main problem is that it just seems kind of pointless, and like, my choices are very not real.

For example, I run into her in the kitchen, and ultimately my choices boil down to submit, or run away? Despite the choices implying that I can actually ignore her and grab my food. I'm going against her at every choice, and yet when I choose to masturbate he refuses to cum because she said no? This makes it seem like even if I'm going against her, my choices don't matter.
I ended up running to college, I attended my father's funeral but not the reception. I'm told I'm struggling with money, so I make the logical choice of making a withdrawal from my inheritance, which automatically means I lose (viewing the win condition as keeping my freedom). Why do I have to go partying randomly and ruining my life? Sure I have the choice to not make the withdrawal, but logic dictates that in that situation I should.

As well, the corruption is beyond and fatomable reality, and while yes it is fiction and all, I would like it if I could like, idk, have enough willpower to withstand the torture until my trial and ultimately be found innocent.

I realise that I am a mind numbingly difficult person to please when it comes to the cyoa idea. So while I would be quite happy if you changed this stuff, I understand that you likely won't. (I do however ask that you actually change it so that when I take my inheritance I don't immediately have my life ruined )

[rakeshhame]

Spoiler: show

I made her my slave and got the money.

I liked the idea. It is pretty good.

[ritewriter]

I mean, it's not my cup of tea but I gave it a shot since I really enjoy the more cyoa ones.

Thanks for trying it!

My main problem is that it just seems kind of pointless, and like, my choices are very not real.

Valid criticism. I tried to put in real choices, for example there is a way to get breakfast and avoid Bridgette entirely, but I can try to make things more forgiving in places.

I'm told I'm struggling with money, so I make the logical choice of making a withdrawal from my inheritance, which automatically means I lose (viewing the win condition as keeping my freedom). Why do I have to go partying randomly and ruining my life? Sure I have the choice to not make the withdrawal, but logic dictates that in that situation I should.

The text does have a veiled suggestion you don’t take the money, fwiw. But I could put in another escape path before…

Spoiler: show

You get sucked in to see Preston

(I do however ask that you actually change it so that when I take my inheritance I don't immediately have my life ruined )

Spoiler: show

There is currently one winning path where you can get the money and not be enslaved, and you were very close to winning without the money.

In all honesty this game is mostly geared to people who want to lose, but thanks for trying it!

[RandomName]

In all honesty this game is mostly geared to people who want to lose, but thanks for trying it!

Of course! To be totally fair, the tease does seem quite well written for what it was intended to be. And believe me, I definitely understand the time and work required to make a branching story, let alone one that tries and encompasses all interests.

While the selected fetishes aren't my cup of tea, I'll likely give it another look over once you release it publicly (on the main page, not just via link) I don't know why but I really enjoy trying to find the most vanilla endings even in the super kinky teases (if they have multiple endings) lol.

But whether you follow through with my requests/altering based on my criticism. This seems quite well made, and I look forward to your future work, hopefully a caring or loving story, or, at least a loving/caring route. (maybe something like "The Loving Step Sis" to stick with your incest theme lol). :)

P.S. In my run I found that neighbor doing yoga with Bridgette, maybe you could add a route where you rescue her or something, I think that could be cool.

[ritewriter]

P.S. In my run I found that neighbor doing yoga with Bridgette, maybe you could add a route where you rescue her or something, I think that could be cool.

My intention if people enjoy this is to expand it a bit to have a lot more endings. Right now…

Spoiler: show

The mc can only escape to college, but I have plans for other escape routes, including one where he goes to friends for help. I think one where he tries to rescue Vienna would be fun!

So I’ll definitely keep that in mind!

Right now there are only 7 endings, two “happy” ones and five “bad” ones. My hope is to eventually add more variations to the two main bad ends and also create paths to branch the back end a lot more.

[edger477]

Right now there are only 7 endings, two “happy” ones and five “bad” ones.

So I guess I found both?

Spoiler: show

I got Man of the house, but before I got it, once the tease got stuck in the dungeon towards the end (not sure if it was after asking her to tell her your plans, or after deciding to not jerk off "its a trap"), it just stopped and there was no error in console.

In later playthrough I went to basement with 16 willpower, and very nice, turned out dad was right, even if he doesn't live up to his preach.

[candii]

Right now there are only 7 endings, two “happy” ones and five “bad” ones.

So I guess I found both?

Spoiler: show

I got Man of the house, but before I got it, once the tease got stuck in the dungeon towards the end (not sure if it was after asking her to tell her your plans, or after deciding to not jerk off "its a trap"), it just stopped and there was no error in console.

In later playthrough I went to basement with 16 willpower, and very nice, turned out dad was right, even if he doesn't live up to his preach.

same thing happened to me, tease got stuck in the basement, not sure if this is a glitch but took a long time to get there and was sad it just got stuck :/

[candii]

Right now there are only 7 endings, two “happy” ones and five “bad” ones.

So I guess I found both?

Spoiler: show

I got Man of the house, but before I got it, once the tease got stuck in the dungeon towards the end (not sure if it was after asking her to tell her your plans, or after deciding to not jerk off "its a trap"), it just stopped and there was no error in console.

In later playthrough I went to basement with 16 willpower, and very nice, turned out dad was right, even if he doesn't live up to his preach.

same thing happened to me, tease got stuck in the basement, not sure if this is a glitch but took a long time to get there and was sad it just got stuck :/

[ritewriter]

The trap thing is 100% a bug. I’ll fix it ASAP.

EDIT: Fixed, I think.

[ritewriter]

I do however ask that you actually change it so that when I take my inheritance I don't immediately have my life ruined )

Fixed! And in the process, added another "good"ish ending.

[candii]

I do however ask that you actually change it so that when I take my inheritance I don't immediately have my life ruined )

Fixed! And in the process, added another "good"ish ending.

thank you! is the basement issue fixed as well?

[ritewriter]

I think so. There was a side path that had no GOTO and I added it.

In the process, I fixed a similar problem with the funeral reception.