A Question for the girls

[Princessbri]

Hi Ladies. I'm new-ish to embracing this lifestyle but I've always loved dominating men and being the dominant partner, but I still want a fulfilling relationship and a life partner. I've just been disappointed with the last few partners I've had because they barely shared any of the interests that I do, sexually. Is there an easy or faster way to find a partner that's ready to be dominated in the bedroom by me without making it super awkward at the beginning? I always feel fine talking about this stuff online but as soon as I'm with the person I'm super paranoid
Thank you,
PB

[Roblsforbobls]

Hi Ladies. I'm new-ish to embracing this lifestyle but I've always loved dominating men and being the dominant partner, but I still want a fulfilling relationship and a life partner. I've just been disappointed with the last few partners I've had because they barely shared any of the interests that I do, sexually. Is there an easy or faster way to find a partner that's ready to be dominated in the bedroom by me without making it super awkward at the beginning? I always feel fine talking about this stuff online but as soon as I'm with the person I'm super paranoid
Thank you,
PB

Hey PB,

Not a lady and not into BDSM, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I did a quick search on r/bdsm (searched "relationship") and found this post https://www.reddit.com/r/bdsm/comments/ ... urce=share asking a similar question.

It sounds like there are some dating apps you can use that are specific to BDSM. If you want a dude's perspective, be upfront about what you want. Don't drop hints or clues (guys will often either assume incorrectly or choose to be willfully ignorant, especially if it's a subject that makes them uncomfortable!), ask clearly and directly without beating around the bush. If this is important to you in a relationship, make that clear early - first or second date latest. Plus, a sub would probably like that you're being forward about it, right?

Also check out this post from r/BDSMAdvice https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/com ... urce=share
which addresses this exact question. Honestly r/BDSMAdvice seems like the perfect place to post your question and get advice from people who probably have experience navigating the same issues you are having.

[CumScream]

Hi, the art of initial negotiation is a delicate thing. You want to share what kinks get you off, and (hopefully) learn all the kinks that 'does-it' for your partner. There will be some you both want, some that you might be up for, and some that are just a flat NO.

Unfortunately, there is no easy way to skip this initial awkward phase. Because if you try, it'll just more likely lead to disappointment for both of you, as you mentioned.

In my experience, there are ALOT of available people just waiting for a dominate personality to come and sweep them away, so you are at least searching this dynamic from the easier side.

My tip, if you want a faster way to find this elusive partner; Search user profile's for common interests and take the lead in opening conversations, either here on Milo (if profile shows single/searching openness), or perhaps sign up to somewhere like FetLife. This should fit in well with your dominate side.

Hope your search goes well,
Stay Sexy!

[zenlover]

My first thought: are you active on fetlife? I find that the profiles there, if complete, go a long way toward helping folks past that “are we sensually compatible?” Phase of relationships of which you write.
Second thought: I’m a guy, and perhaps I should not answer this thread.
Third thought: perhaps she’ll look me up there, and like what she sees and reads. (Hope springs eternal)
——
It’s a free site. I’m Zenlover there too.

[Nica]

Hi!
I dont know how you meet people, but if your dating online or on apps you could have it in your profile, or just mention it when you write with them is probably best. In person i think that many situations are not more awkward than we make them ourselves! Just pretend its super normal for you even if your freaking out inside your head