[Feedback] Palutena's Game of Chance

[MasterfulEll]

Good evening, everyone.

After browsing the site for a long time, I thought it'd only be right to try and create my own tease:
https://milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=53184

As this is my first time using the EOS editor, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated, whether they be glitches, grammatical errors, etc, and I will do my very best to fix them. I am also open to adding new sections to the Tease, if I believe them to be suitable to the experence.

I am also open to idea for new teases, too. The types of teases I'd like to focus on are hentai teases based around individual characters and including chance games and edging elements. If you have any gameplay elements and/or characters that you think I would do well, do not hesiate to drop them below.

I have been impressed by the Teases on the site, and am so glad to finally participate in this wonderful creative community

Thank you for reading, and I am very appreciative to each and every player of my Tease. I spend a lot of time working on it

[qatguy]

good tease, but maybe take the choices away from the users.

[anonacc3]

You know sometimes you start watching a JOI or a tease or vid and you just know that you're gonna be back again at the same video later? Do you have any favourites that you revisit for years? I do. Sometimes, when you have something that's just really perfect, you can visit it infinitely. I can tell that this is one of those times. Unequivocally, 100%. This is excellently executed.

First of all, great choice of character. Palutena is super hot and works SO well for the style of tease and dialogue you went for. I appreciate the fact that the whole tease is the same character. Massively increases immersion.

I love the general setup. The element of chance is used well here, and the different options I was getting for different numbers felt unique. I also felt I got more excited as I had to redo levels here and there, which is rare because usually that just frustrates me. In this case, it worked really well because on the first run through of, say, level 2, I wasn't really close to cumming at all. Palu says a few lines referencing how I'm trying to hold back and I'm thinking psh, whatever.

Then I had to redo the level after going through level 3 and when that line came up again I was like you smug sonnuva bitch you got me. YOU KNEW ALL ALONG. It cemented her feeling of superiority, which is a great feel. Not everyone is going to get that feeling (for better or worse), but the level holds up just fine even if you don't have to repeat it, so kudos there.

The themes for level 2 and 3 were great. Excellent idea, felt unique.

There's a few small typos that I found so far. Didn't finish the game yet though. First one is near the start when she says don't cum without permission.
"Good choice. I love an obedient subject" (missing period at the end of the sentence)

Next one is when she tells you to lube up or use toys as needed.
"I want you to feel gooooood, like your melting between your own fingers" (the first your should be you're)

Two typos were close to the section with the Intensity Gate. The word Exactly was misspelled somewhere, and something a few lines away from that was also misspelled (don't remember). Can't get back to the original lines yet, I'll keep an eye open for them during a replay.

Otherwise grammar etc. felt really solid.

Choice of pictures is really good. Dialogue is really hot. This is actually the first time in my life that I've actually followed through with a Denial and not finished, and it's 100% because of something in your dialogue. Usually when I reach the end of a tease or JOI that says I have to stop and not finish when I'm right at the edge, I'm like yeah fuck off I'm finishing lol. But I guess the dialogue here was referencing it so often (ex. "What are you thinking about? How long is this going to take? Is she even going to let me finish? Oh, you weren't thinking of that? Well, I bet you are now" is a good example) that it sort of became a reality to me that if I can't control myself and edge, then I've got to follow the consequences. It's just built into the video well at multiple points. (Speaking of, holy shit level 4). The whole thing felt really good and organic. It's unfortunate that I can't put it into words properly, probably because I'm sleep deprived. Maybe I'll be able to better explain it later.

I got to the intensity gate section and had to restart it like 3 times. First was 3 edges, second was 7, the last was like 14. What a fucking rush that last one was. But I couldn't hold on at the end so I pressed the button and goddamnit, bad coin flip I guess. Got a denial ending and all I can say is well played. Even the way she faces her back towards you at the end is great.

Seriously though, I gotta wait 48 hours to try again? Ugh. I'm actually going to follow through with it too, because you did such a good fucking job I feel obligated to. And that's thrilling in it's own way, because no video or JOI or tease has ever made me want to follow through on something like this.

This is your first tease? You're not gonna top this, my friend - it's way too fucking good. But that's okay, you've done more than enough for the world already with this tease alone.

10/10, will play again. And again.

[MasterfulEll]

Thank you for the feedback! It really helps (:

good tease, but maybe take the choices away from the users.

I assume you're referring to

Spoiler: show

the final level's 1 through 6 number choice? The idea behind that decision is that the player will be left knowing that they chose the number themselves that round, it's so much worse knowing that you picked the number that may have given you a bad ending. However, I may add an option/piece of dialogue inviting the player to make that choice random if people are really into the randomness of the game.

And I'm glade you enjoyed the Tease, I had a lot of fun making it

You know sometimes you start watching a JOI or a tease or vid and you just know that you're gonna be back again at the same video later? Do you have any favourites that you revisit for years? I do. Sometimes, when you have something that's just really perfect, you can visit it infinitely. I can tell that this is one of those times. Unequivocally, 100%. This is excellently executed.

I never thought anyone would love the Tease as much as this! Thank you so much!

I'm very glad you enjoy it (:

First of all, great choice of character. Palutena is super hot and works SO well for the style of tease and dialogue you went for. I appreciate the fact that the whole tease is the same character. Massively increases immersion.

I love the general setup. The element of chance is used well here, and the different options I was getting for different numbers felt unique. I also felt I got more excited as I had to redo levels here and there, which is rare because usually that just frustrates me. In this case, it worked really well because on the first run through of, say, level 2, I wasn't really close to cumming at all. Palu says a few lines referencing how I'm trying to hold back and I'm thinking psh, whatever.

Then I had to redo the level after going through level 3 and when that line came up again I was like you smug sonnuva bitch you got me. YOU KNEW ALL ALONG. It cemented her feeling of superiority, which is a great feel. Not everyone is going to get that feeling (for better or worse), but the level holds up just fine even if you don't have to repeat it, so kudos there.

The themes for level 2 and 3 were great. Excellent idea, felt unique.

Hehehe, I didn't want to make any unfair scenarios where players are forced to replay sections no matter what number they got, so I'm glad to hear you had to replay at least one section. In my opinion, anyone who plays and gets lucky and goes through every round gets the least interesting experience of the game. In test playthroughs the difficulty curve can and will be cruel unless you got good luck, and that's exactly how I wanted it to be, hehe.

There's a few small typos that I found so far. Didn't finish the game yet though. First one is near the start when she says don't cum without permission.
"Good choice. I love an obedient subject" (missing period at the end of the sentence)

Next one is when she tells you to lube up or use toys as needed.
"I want you to feel gooooood, like your melting between your own fingers" (the first your should be you're)

Two typos were close to the section with the Intensity Gate. The word Exactly was misspelled somewhere, and something a few lines away from that was also misspelled (don't remember). Can't get back to the original lines yet, I'll keep an eye open for them during a replay.

Otherwise grammar etc. felt really solid.

I checked back on the Tease and corrected these, thank you for pointing them out for me! (I believe the misspelled word a few lines after "exactly" was "vivid" (: )

There's a lot of dialogue and so many ending variants that it's hard to proof read everything, so I'm thankful for people who are willing to remember exactly where these errors are.

Choice of pictures is really good. Dialogue is really hot. This is actually the first time in my life that I've actually followed through with a Denial and not finished, and it's 100% because of something in your dialogue. Usually when I reach the end of a tease or JOI that says I have to stop and not finish when I'm right at the edge, I'm like yeah fuck off I'm finishing lol. But I guess the dialogue here was referencing it so often (ex. "What are you thinking about? How long is this going to take? Is she even going to let me finish? Oh, you weren't thinking of that? Well, I bet you are now" is a good example) that it sort of became a reality to me that if I can't control myself and edge, then I've got to follow the consequences. It's just built into the video well at multiple points. (Speaking of, holy shit level 4). The whole thing felt really good and organic. It's unfortunate that I can't put it into words properly, probably because I'm sleep deprived. Maybe I'll be able to better explain it later.

I got to the intensity gate section and had to restart it like 3 times. First was 3 edges, second was 7, the last was like 14. What a fucking rush that last one was. But I couldn't hold on at the end so I pressed the button and goddamnit, bad coin flip I guess. Got a denial ending and all I can say is well played. Even the way she faces her back towards you at the end is great.

Seriously though, I gotta wait 48 hours to try again? Ugh. I'm actually going to follow through with it too, because you did such a good fucking job I feel obligated to. And that's thrilling in it's own way, because no video or JOI or tease has ever made me want to follow through on something like this.

Thank you (: A lot of the time spent making this was finding pictures that matched each of the themes, and finding appropriate images for each of the different endings - I was surprised how little content there was for something involved in one of the endings, but I made it work hehe.

I was initially unsure of the denial ending wait times as I thought they may have been too harsh that they'd turn people off enough for them to not follow through. If even just one person decides to follow those rules however, it makes it worth it. So thank you (:

Please do let me know how you do on your next attempt at the Tease (:

This is your first tease? You're not gonna top this, my friend - it's way too fucking good. But that's okay, you've done more than enough for the world already with this tease alone.

10/10, will play again. And again.

It is indeed the first Tease I've made. I've played Teases and watched JOI videos in the past and pulled together the very best things that I liked to see in those and made something based around all them. I wish I could forget I made it and play it completely blind, it's all the things that I love and that I don't see enough of (:

I hope I haven't peaked already, hehe. I'd love to make something to top this, maybe something new with a different character... or maybe a sequel in the form of a hard mode follow-up or a boss rush style mode? I'm open to hearing any ideas (:

[indyc]

Not the biggest fan of being randomly reverted to previous levels but I can see that working for many. It would be interesting if there was some "consolation prize" for being reverted that the previous level shows you a picture or 2 different. I like the idea of going down but not the possible loop it can make of never letting you proceed due to randomness.

I would personally prefer it to be more based on player choice. For example, the more wrong answers you give like remembering your dice results would increase the chance. You have that already a bit but I don't like the pure random event.

Another potential example could be you begging for a reroll that punishes you by making the tease more difficult. All this is of course completely up to you, simply my thoughts/opinions.

I can completely understand if you are set on keeping dice an the coin in the game. However, I wanted you to know that you can have your tease calculate all of that for you. I don't know coding at all but found this forum that shows you how to do it:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=23845

Put this stuff in your init script (to set your 2 variables, call them whatever you want):

dice=1;
coin=0;

function randomIntFromInterval(max,min){ //random generator
return Math.floor(Math.random()*(max-min+1)+min);
}

Then you would put this when you want to generate a random number:
Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min + 1)) + min

In your case I made both of these whenever you want it to flip a coin or roll the die:
dice = Math.floor(Math.random() * (6 - 1 + 1)) + 1;
coin= Math.floor(Math.random() * (1 - 0 + 1)) + 0;

[MasterfulEll]

Not the biggest fan of being randomly reverted to previous levels but I can see that working for many. It would be interesting if there was some "consolation prize" for being reverted that the previous level shows you a picture or 2 different. I like the idea of going down but not the possible loop it can make of never letting you proceed due to randomness.

I would personally prefer it to be more based on player choice. For example, the more wrong answers you give like remembering your dice results would increase the chance. You have that already a bit but I don't like the pure random event.

Another potential example could be you begging for a reroll that punishes you by making the tease more difficult. All this is of course completely up to you, simply my thoughts/opinions.

I can completely understand if you are set on keeping dice an the coin in the game. However, I wanted you to know that you can have your tease calculate all of that for you. I don't know coding at all but found this forum that shows you how to do it:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=23845

Put this stuff in your init script (to set your 2 variables, call them whatever you want):

dice=1;
coin=0;

function randomIntFromInterval(max,min){ //random generator
return Math.floor(Math.random()*(max-min+1)+min);
}

Then you would put this when you want to generate a random number:
Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min + 1)) + min

In your case I made both of these whenever you want it to flip a coin or roll the die:
dice = Math.floor(Math.random() * (6 - 1 + 1)) + 1;
coin= Math.floor(Math.random() * (1 - 0 + 1)) + 0;

Thank you for the feedback (:

I fully intended this to be a game of chance with random outcomes so I'd like to keep the dice rolls and coin flips as integral parts of the game, though the sources and ideas you provided are very helpful. The idea of having to re-enter dice rolls/coin flips rather than it remembering it for you was a concern as I lacked the experience with EOS, so I tried working around it using very basic, simple-to-make alternaives.

As it would involve a lot of rewriting, I may save the system to a follow-up Tease, and then add the rewrites to this Tease once I understand more how EOS works (:

[MasterfulEll]

Great tease! Many hot pictures, hot dialog and a true endurance test. Keep making teases please!

Thank you so much!

Spoiler: show

Were you able to finish it? What ending did you get? (:

[anonacc3]

Update: I've probably tried playing through this well over 20 times and haven't managed to beat it yet, usually losing at or before the bonus stage. Fantastic tease overall.

I figured I've played it enough that I remember what gets me going and what doesn't. Here is my completely unasked-for play-by-play of the tease up until the farthest point I've gotten to.

Intro - all of it is good

Stage 1
Pic 1 - hot, very good starter
Pic 2 (with the beach ball) - solid, but having this same pic for the full minute is too long imo. Would prefer a different pic at the 30 second speed-up, or if there's no alternate available, just do 15 sec slow and 15 sec with the faster pace for the same pic.
Pic 3 (butt) - good!
dice roll
Pic 4 (white dress, 30 secs) - really hot!
Pic 5 ("keep at it") - decent pic. I like her encouraging dialogue.
Pic 6 (bunny) - really hot! This was a good time to speed up.
Pic 7 (bending forward) - solid

Overall stage 1 is good, although it feels a bit slow when you're forced to redo it. If it feels too slow sometimes I get impatient and close the tease and go elsewhere. Picture 2 is the most guilty of this - reducing the timer or changing something for pic 2 would be the best fix to that imo, currently it's a slight mood-killer. Picture 4 and Picture 6 are the best in this stage and are the greatest boner-ups.

Stage 2
Pic 1 (looking back and smiling) - hot, solid opener
Pic 2 (looking back, neutral expression) - decent
Pic 3 (sudden butt reveal) - fantastic! love the sudden speed up
Pic 4 (teasing tongue out) - amazing! Especially right after the trick on pic 3.
Pic 5 (lying back) - ok. Artstyle kind of weird but it's only 10 seconds so it's fine. Upon re-examination it's kinda hot
Pic 6 (pink underwear etc) - bad, would strongly consider replacing. Kills the flow due to bad art.
Pic 7 ("or maybe I need to make it more apparent") - super hot!
Pic 8 ("I want to test your endurance") - hot
Pic 9 - ("your face is cute when you struggle to hold back") - super hot!!
Pic 10 (break) - solid
Pic 11 (bunny butt) - hot!
Pic 12 ("still struggling?) - really gets me going
Pic 13 ("hold out a biiiit longer") - best pic of the stage
Pic 14 ("don't fall at the last hurdle!") - hot!

Stage 2 is good overall. The gimmick with picture 3 and the sudden speed up is very welcome. Everything from picture 7 onwards is really hot and really gets me going, both in terms of dialogue and pictures. Picture 5 looks a bit odd art-style wise but it's OK since it's quick, but picture 6 is outright a boner-killer because the art is not that good. Would consider replacing picture 6.

Stage 3
I believe in this stage, there's a possibility to have to stroke at double-speed. That's a run-ender right there if you get it lol
Pic 1 - solid opener. The starting pace is good
Pic 2 ("you should feel grateful") - unusual art... not a big fan of it. Would contemplate changing this pic. Dialogue is good though.
Pic 3 (break where she doesn't let you continue until you say thanks) - good pic, and great concept! Having a speed up here is smart and works well with her smirk
Pic 4 ("I'm sure you're thinking about how much you'd like to touch me") - hot! The picture works great with the dialogue and her expression
Pic 5 (break) - hot pic & love the denial
Pic 6 ("unless you get lucky") - hot!
Pic 7 (tempo increase picture) - hot. This is super hard if you're at double pace and has ended me once or twice, lol
Pic 8 ("I love how you're getting into this") - hot!
Pic 9 ("very fast") - middling pic, to be honest. I like the sudden speed increase, but I don't know if this pic was the best one to do it with. If there's a better pic for this surge I would consider swapping.
Pic 10 (break) - hot pic
Pic 11 ("back to it!") - hot, love the tongue out in the pic.
Pic 12 ("you're really feeling the excitement now") - pic is solid. Love the dialogue because yes palu, yes I am feeling the excitement now
Pic 13 - hot. I recognize this as a cropped pic lol
Pic 14 ("is she going to let me cum") - love the grin on this picture and REALLY love the dialogue here.
Pic 15 - amazing pic!
Pic 16 ("you're halfway through your journey") - it's alright
Pic 17 ("calls for more vigor") - hot!
Pic 18 (final picture) - hot!

Stage 3 is very good overall. I like the gimmick with picture seven and the alternating rate. A lot of these pics are insanely hot. The only ones I would contemplate changing are picture 2 which is kinda weak, and maybe picture 9. Picture 9 is actually fine, but for a sudden speed up picture I think it makes more sense to have a really hot pic.

Stage 4
Small typo before the stage starts. It says take a break, you've "earnt" it. Should be "earned".

Pic 1 - HOT, really tempted to go fast
pic 2 - HOT, really tempted to go fast
pic 3 - hot. It's weird that this picture has a clothed pussy though when the previous was a full reveal
Pic 4 ("Are you desperate?") - alright. This pic doesn't tempt me too much, but dialogue is hot
Pic 5 ("I bet it's driving you crazy") - HOT, really tempted to go fast
pic 6 - HOT, really tempted to go fast
pic 7 ("give in") - hot. The pic is solid, but the dialogue especially has made me edge before.
Pic 8 ("that doesn't mean I can't have fun though") - strongly dislike this pic due to the art. Big Boner-killer. Heavily recommend changing this one. I'm sure there's other pics where she's masturbating.
pic 9 - HOT, really tempted to go fast
pic 10 - Hot
pic 11 - hot. The timer is longer here, but it's actually not too hard because this pic is not as hot as some of the absolute bangers earlier in the same level. Pic is solid though. I would prefer changing it with one of the mega-hot pics I marked in all caps (ex. Pic 2). That would go well as a final-temptation for this stage, PLUS it leaves you more worked up to start the bonus stage.

The concept for Stage 4 is amazing. A lot of these pics are supremely hot which I've marked in all caps. Pic 8 is probably my most disliked pic in the entire tease, though, and really kills the mood.

Bonus Stage
So, I've never actually gotten past the bonus stage. There's a few things that I think should be adjusted here, though.
First and foremost, you only roll for stroking style the first time you play this stage. This is bad if you got an annoying stroking style (ex. two fingers, only stroke the shaft), because you never get an opportunity to re-roll this. You just go back to the intensity re-roll. For me, edging repeatedly is nearly impossible with two fingers. That happened once or twice and there wasn't anything I could really do. It kills the mood and either forces you to quit, or forces you to disobey her instructions and stroke normally (which greatly ruins immersion). I think the solution is just to get rid of the roll for stroking style, and keep the intensity roll.

There's an additional benefit to doing so. There's actually quite a bit of reading between the end of stage 4 and your first stroke for the bonus stage. It gives too much time to go soft, and then you're suddenly expected to edge again which is hard. You can't really do it on a first run if you bothered reading everything. I think it would be ideal that, after the instructions are explained, you get a 1 pic warm up at progressing pace before launching into the bonus stage. If not that, then just reduce the reading as much as possible. This is why I think it's also ideal to swap some pics in stage 4 so that a really hot one is used as a finisher, as I mentioned above.

Stage 5
Can't comment on this, I've never gotten this far lol
I'll update if I ever get here

[MasterfulEll]

Update: I've probably tried playing through this well over 20 times and haven't managed to beat it yet, usually losing at or before the bonus stage. Fantastic tease overall.

I figured I've played it enough that I remember what gets me going and what doesn't. Here is my completely unasked-for play-by-play of the tease up until the farthest point I've gotten to.

(post)

Thank you for the feedback. Some changes to the tease have been made based on your suggestions:

• Some images have been swapped around or replaced in various Levels based on feedback

• Fixed typo in Level 4's opening

• Stroking style is able to be re-rolled upon retrying the edging challenge level

• 2 new stroking styles can be rolled when retrying the edging challenge level (the rolled numbers assigned to these are not available on the first try)

• Warmup section added before the edging challenge level, allowing you to edge once before rolling for intensity level

Give the Tease another try when you can, hopefully with the new changes you'll be able to reach the end.