markus wrote: Fri Oct 02, 2020 8:41 pm
What about:
"Don't you dare
to cum before I give you permission, #Name" ?
It's already corrected, will be in the next update, but with that 'to' in it... is that better or wrong?
(I ask seriously, ... it's good when a native speaker gives hints for corrections,... even if this personality might be full of such flaws, ... when you find something to be corrected, ... I'd glad to implement it)!
Yeah I wouldn't point out typos and stuff if I didn't care about what was being made. I can get a bit zealous about it sometimes though. Uh, one other thing to point out is that using ellipses "..." shouldn't have a comma before it. And it generally isn't used so much. The instances of ", ..." in your post should all probably be commas or proper full stops. I can't help but point that out either. Sorry.
Something like:
"I ask seriously, it's good when a native speaker gives hints for corrections. Even if this personality might be full of such flaws, when you find something to be corrected I'd glad to implement it!"
To answer the question you actually asked:
Adding "to" there would be wrong. "Don't you dare cum" is already fully formed English and adding something that isn't descriptive gets in the way and will feel wrong.
Here's some other stuff I skimmed through in the Responses folder:
\Vocabulary\Responses\DoYWT_ControlMe.txt
"#Yes, I already taked control over you, #SubName"
"taked" isn't a word, "over" isn't wrong but it doesn't really fit how direct the rest of the line feels.
so "#Yes, I already
took control of you, #SubName" would be correct. "of/over" doesn't matter that much but "took" from "taked" is necessary.
Alternatively you could use "have" and "taken" in place of "took" if you want.
"#Yes, I have already taken control over you, #SubName" for example.
\Vocabulary\Responses\DoYWT_DenyMe.txt
Every line here is wrong.
"I want and I will denial you" should be "I want
to and will
deny you"
"I want and I probably will denial you" should similarly be "I want to and probably will deny you" but reversing "will" and "probably" makes it flow a little better in my opinion. So: "I want to and will probably deny you" also works.
"I want...sometimes....sometimes not." is pretty bad. To keep it similar but correct it, I'd go for something like a simple:
"Sometimes..." or "Sometimes I do want to... sometimes I don't."
"I want, but someone need to cum everytime..." Should be something like "I want to, but someone needs to cum every time." Which would be correct English, but it also seems a little meek for a dom. So for style I'd put italics on "someone" or "needs" to make it seem like the dom is mocking the player a bit.
\Vocabulary\Responses\DoYWT_FuckMe.txt
"#No, not at my "menu"" is wrong. "at" refers to a specific location or time. "on" is appropriate for a menu as it refers to something being physically written
on a menu. So:
"#No, that's not on my "menu"" would work.
Sorry again. Even if it doesn't bother you I always feel like I'm being rude when I offer corrections. I just can't help myself, like I keep saying.