Logic thinking
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Jaberwocky
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Logic thinking
My first webtease. Like to know what you think about it.
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addictlion
- Explorer
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Not bad
It was a little short for my taste but very frustrating. Pretty good.
Can you give me some feed back on the ones I did no one has said anything.
Can you give me some feed back on the ones I did no one has said anything.
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Helequin
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I thought the tease was good. I found the focus to be more on the girl's argument then the teasing portion, which works well in this tease. I do however have two points just to think about:
1. In my opinion, the word "weenie" doesn't really fit the argument the girl is making or her character. It just comes off as a bit simple and childish compared to the rest. It is not wrong, or even that bad, it is just a little something I noticed.
2. I liked the way the instructions came either before or after the other text, but some authors integrate both together. Just something to think about for next time, in this case I think separate is better.
Anyway, good job.
1. In my opinion, the word "weenie" doesn't really fit the argument the girl is making or her character. It just comes off as a bit simple and childish compared to the rest. It is not wrong, or even that bad, it is just a little something I noticed.
2. I liked the way the instructions came either before or after the other text, but some authors integrate both together. Just something to think about for next time, in this case I think separate is better.
Anyway, good job.
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Jaberwocky
- Explorer At Heart
- Posts: 314
- Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:32 pm
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I altered the 'weenie' so to speak.
I wrote the tease around the girl's argument, so it is not surprising that the focus is on that part of the webtease. The teasing part is more or less added afterwards.
I looked if there was a tagg 'short tease' that could be added, but have not found one.
To 'addictlion', I looked at the 'I own you' webtease. Not realy the type of tease I like, but I loved the small twists in it, the questions with answers you would not expect.
I wrote the tease around the girl's argument, so it is not surprising that the focus is on that part of the webtease. The teasing part is more or less added afterwards.
I looked if there was a tagg 'short tease' that could be added, but have not found one.
To 'addictlion', I looked at the 'I own you' webtease. Not realy the type of tease I like, but I loved the small twists in it, the questions with answers you would not expect.