Don't get me wrong, some of the femdom fantasy scenarios in porn are really hot, but they are still all about the man's pleasure, degradation, cartoonish stereotypes, etc. The sexiest thing of all for me is women who actually enjoy it and get off on it. I understand that porn in general is aimed at male fantasies (especially visually) and that stuff sells, but surely there has to be SOME demand for something a bit more realistic?
I think it can make introducing the idea to a new girlfriend difficult too, because porn always goes for the craziest most extreme version of everything. Jumping straight to the most extreme stuff can be shocking and there's not enough porn demonstrating what SHE gets out of the whole thing. There's a lot of good books and even some written erotica/stories but a simple search for "femdom porn" is a bit like bringing up the possibility of anal then watching a double anal penetration video...
I'm probably guilty of it myself with some of my webteases, but there's a limited amount of indulgent nurturing romantic things you can do for a non-existent mostly non interactive domme (usually written by males
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