A quick question

[sexualreflex909]

I couldnt think of a good title for this - but hopefully someone with moderation power wil read it, basically ive been around milovana from the start, but always as a lurker. Ive posted on the forums sporadically and therfore ive probably had about 5 different accounts simply die to the fact i can never remember what my current account is

either way im planning a huge revamp to a tease i made ages ago - back when i originally wrote it my english style was pretty bad, but i feel the tease had a pretty novel idea behind it, if i was a little more clear with my writing style then i feel the tease would be a lot more enjoyable.

so my question is - is there anyway i could be granted access to that tease despite the fact it was on a different user account - if it seems like im trying to be shifty i can understand that and would rather not edit the year old tease and make a new one that would get some view's anyway - is this allowed though, essentially the tease will be 10 pages longer than the original but a lot clearer and easier to follow.

so apart from that what kind of punishments can people think up, and does everyone here know how to play texas hold em poker or should i include the rules with the tease?

right now ive got a very clinical huge page explaining all the rules which detracts from the atmosphere from the tease a little - and having such a text heavy page early on could probably put a lot of people off - anyone know how i could get around this problem?

[LNS]

I think about 80% of the audience should know how to play Texas Hold'em...but being from Texas originally and a poker fan...I could be overestimating by a mile :)

LNS

[reflog1]

Im' a really big texas hold'em fan

[sissybee]

Hi:
Why not post a link to a "Rules of Texas-Hold'em" page... and then have a short quiz (with punishments if wrong!)
This way... if people know the rules, they just take the quiz, if not, they go out , read them and take the quiz.
Or they mess up just to be punished in some awful way
-SissyBee

[sexualreflex909]

Im' a really big texas hold'em fan

Hopefully if i manage to make the tease understandable you will really enjoy it.
sissybee - i guess attaching a link with a page explaining the rules of poker would work - ive already used that idea - but im struggling to explain how my game uses the concepts of poker to drive it along - which is another problem

infact ill post the text heavy information page here and see if its even understandable:

you will deal the cards, the flop, turn and river yourself, think of this game as playing poker with someone next to you one vs one, as intimate as can be, obviusly im on my own computer and expect you not to cheat and look at my cards early. Except for the fact im not actually sitting next to you this is going to work like every other game of poker
you will deal the cards, first 2 to yourself and me, and then i will make a bet to see the flop, if you call you will lay out the flop and then we bet again for the flop and then the river in the exact same way, at the end of the game you may look at my cards for me and if you have better cards than me you win,

if not I win, and believe me if I win a hand it will end up causing you a lot of suffering, I wont be betting in the traditional sense, for every hand I will raise a certain amount of chips I will give you if you win the hand, but there will also be punishments if you lose.

If you win, you get the chips for the entire hand, if you lose you will have to do all the punishments of that hand, think about it as betting with your humity, if you think you have better cards than me then risk the punishments by playing your hand.

you can fold your hand at any time just like real poker, like real poker at the stage you fold you’ve effectivly lost everything you have a stake in that round, which in this game means you have to do all your punishments upto your fold for that round. trust me folding early if you have a bad hand will be a lot better than risking seeing the flop, turn or river and then having to do all the punishments, if you know your gonna lose in the turn then just fold and do the punishment just for the fold! – just like in real poker, knwoing when you’ve lost and folding early can save you a lot!

However like real poker, even if you have a really bad hand, I could have a even worse one, and you have to play hands to earn chips, your gonna need a certain amount at the end of the game to cash in for a orgasm, so play smart and risk some punishments, no risk no reward! – and I like a man that takes risks

Use a paper to keep tally of your chips remember you will earn more depending if you call my raises :P If you fold skip whatever’s left of this hand and take the punishments in the pot, then move onto the next hand as you cant do anything else anyway, and hope I wasnt simply just bluffing 

so as you can tell, not the most sexual of pages, but it needs to be there to explain the basic concept's of how the tease works and how it uses poker to drive it along, is it clear? - hopefully not too off putting or confusing?

[JaceDare]

Hey, Reflex, this does sound like a really interesting way to do a tease. And while the text is pretty long, most of it is necessary. My suggestion would be to find a couple natural places for a break and put it on a new page. You might end up with three pages total, but having a different picture will help keep people's attention. You may also want to let them stroke during the rules. Everybody's more willing to do as they're told when they're horny. Just for fun, I rewrote the text you posted to reflect what I'm talking about. If you like it, you're free to use all or a portion of it in your tease.

Page 1:

Okay, baby, why don't you start working that cock while I explain the rules. Just don't get too excited. We don't want you losing it before the game even starts.

Now, then, for each hand you will deal the cards, the flop, turn and river. Obviously I'm on my own computer and expect you not to look at my cards early. Cheaters never prosper, after all. Now if you haven't played Texas Holdem in a while, why don't you go to http://www.blahblahblah.com to brush up on the rules. I'll wait here, oh, and keep stroking while you read, just no messes.

Page 2:

So now that you're ready to play, let me explain how this game will be a little different. I wont be betting in the traditional sense. Instead, for every hand I will raise a certain amount of chips I owe you if you win, but there will also be punishments for you if you lose.

If you win, you get the chips for the entire hand, but if you lose you will have to do all the punishments for that hand. Think about it as betting with your humility. If you think you have better cards than me, risk the punishments by playing your hand.

Or you can fold at any time, just like real poker. Also like real poker, at the stage you fold you’ve effectively lost everything you bet in that round, which in this game means you have to do all your punishments up to that point. Trust me, folding early if you have a bad hand will be a lot better than waiting to see the flop, turn or river and then having to do all the punishments. If you know you're gonna lose, just fold. Just like in real poker, knowing when you’ve lost and folding early can save you a lot!

Page 3:

However like real poker, even if you have a really bad hand, I could have an even worse one, and you have to play to earn chips. You're gonna need a lot of chips at the end of the game to cash in for an orgasm, so play smart and risk some punishments, no risk no reward! – And I like a man that takes risks.

Be sure to keep a tally of your chips. Remember you will earn more if you call my raises :P If you fold, just skip whatever’s left of that hand, do the punishments in the pot, and move on to the next hand. You'll just have to hope I wasn't bluffing. Haha. Ready? Now stop touching that little pecker and let's play!

That's how I would do it, anyway. I hope that helps, or at least gives you some ideas. Good luck, it sounds like it'll be a great tease.

-Jace

P.S. And obviously http://www.blahblahblah.com isn't a real Texas Holdem site, so you'll have to find one yourself if you want to use that idea. JD.

[sexualreflex]

Thanks Jacedare, you've definitely helped, and I think at the moment im going to use the majority of the text you've written out, its very well split up. if only i was so good at writing teases!

the only problem with splitting the tease up is that there will be a few repeating images early on, ive tried to add some variety, by having 2 seperate endings, one with multiple different women - and so i hope a few repeating images at the start wont be such a bad thing.

either way thanks for the help so far, im already fairly busy but the main content of the tease is done, and so I want to get the tease up as soon as possible, now its just a matter of sorting out my terrible writing style

[JaceDare]

Reflex, glad I could help. If you want a proofreader's eye on the rest of the tease you could PM me. I won't be able to get at it right away, but perhaps by Wednesday. I've already got a story to write for Goddess Lily and a few school projects, but I wouldn't mind giving it a look when I have time. Of course, I'd do less editing that I did on this section, so that it's still your voice, mostly punctuation and grammar, that sort of thing.

In general, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your writing style. The mechanics could use work, but the style is just fine how it is.

-Jace

[eteased]

Interesting idea. I'd actually considered trying to do a Flash tease using some form of Texas Holdem before realizing it would require a huge number of pages to be worthwhile. A reduced form of blackjack was much simpler! I have some other ideas around card games as well...

Anyway, I look forward to seeing what you come up with, Reflex. One suggestion: Maybe instead of expecting the user to have cards, deal out a game, count chips, etc., you could point them to a web site with a free Flash version of Texas Holdem. For example, a quick google search brings up this one:
http://www.flash-game.net/game/1996/tex ... %27em.html which, oddly enough, features a dancing girl who kinda looks like she's jerking off an enormous cock. This way the user could play the game on some other website against a computer opponent and use your tease to be rewarded/punished after each hand. Just a thought.

[all2true]

eteased
I want to say Thank you
I loved the link
No real money
No sign up- contract

very fun to play
(lost my first try)

[cumhardy]

Sexualreflex: I found your description too confusing when I read it. But I am easily confused so maybe its just me. (plus I dont know how to play poker)

I think the writing is fine but needs to be cut down a lot more. Some parts you could trim. Too much information at once can be confusing (to me at least). For example:

you can fold your hand at any time just like real poker, like real poker at the stage you fold you’ve effectivly lost everything you have a stake in that round, which in this game means you have to do all your punishments upto your fold for that round. trust me folding early if you have a bad hand will be a lot better than risking seeing the flop, turn or river and then having to do all the punishments, if you know your gonna lose in the turn then just fold and do the punishment just for the fold! – just like in real poker, knwoing when you’ve lost and folding early can save you a lot!

Could be trimmed down to

You can fold your hand at any time. At the stage you fold you’ve effectivly lost everything you have a stake in that round. This means you have to do all your punishments upto your fold for that round. – just like in real poker, knowing when you’ve lost and folding early can save you a lot of pain!

And it still makes sense. Sorry if I sound like im giving a patronizing english lesson, Im not the best speller myself. Just some feedback.