An exasperated jerker's words . . .

[Carlcjjohnson]

To all in the land of Milovana,

Do you ever get the feeling that, despite how great this site and its people are and the plethora of high quality material available on it, all of this has just stopped working for you?

I like to be teased, just like every other male member here. Therefore, on initially finding this treasure trove of webteases, I was quite a happy chap. But, over time, I've seen things change. It seems to me that the level of material being created for this site has diminished somewhat for whatever reason. I no longer have any interest in writing webteases myself, though I have started many which had great potential, but have left them unfinished. It's as if I've run dry on such creativity, despite the fact that this fetish, sexually speaking, is what I'm all about.

I've seen the amount of teasing females on this site plummet. To be honest, I don't blame women for leaving, and let me be clear, I do commend those who stay. It's obvious as to why those who leave do so, they become inundated with self-promoting, quick fix-seeking males looking for a quick thrill - those who lurk, only to post when they think that they might be in with a chance for some female attention. You all know of what I speak. It is the groan we utter on seeing such spam threads pop up, on seeing someone with a grand total of 1 post on this site posting about their 'need' for such fulfillment, while we sit silent. It is the cheap tricks people play in the hope that someone, somewhere here will give them instructions as to how they should finish themselves, all on the direction of their so-called 'Mistresses'.

I've rolled my eyes at such things one too many times, it seems.

I've tried to be the nice, polite guy. I never mean to annoy anyone, and I never mean to cause offence. I've tried contributing material, and admittedly it was very well received, but now the creative spark I once used to help this community has all but diminished.

I've played the nice guy and hated the spammers as much as anyone here. I'm an intelligent person who just sought a form of adult socialisation, and I've just been left jerking hopelessly at pictures. I'm metaphorically the one who's always just a second too late in the 'Anyone in the mood to play?' thread. I feel like despite everything, I'm still only on the cusp of what I desire.

I'm frustrated because, ironically, I can no longer become sexually frustrated by mere words and images. I am still the only one in the equation when it comes to my own sexual gratification.

I am only one person, and I just don't know what to do anymore

Am I the only one?


CJ

[Nika Ferlinghetti]

Well Heavens, this is an unfortunate turn of events. Indy, you do make this site interesting, I hate to see you leave. And carl, I hadn't forgotten you. *winks*

Speaking strictly for myself, the wankers looking for a quick rub off don't upset me overly. They are easily ignored or toyed with.

Its the lack of spark. The exchange. The energy. I don't mean here, I mean in wankers in general. Those of us on the other side of the equation, need something back. Feedback, something. If we are putting everything in, well, in time, it becomes quite draining.

I'm lucky to have found that balance in real life, although of a lesser intensity than I am capable of handling. Online, too many just want to take and take, without putting in.

I'm generally not one for chat. I've tried it and tends not to work for me. I like the immediacy, but I tend not to sit at the computer for long enough to generate any good interaction. Those who know me from my other online life, know I can sustain things quite effectively, if I have a proper partner. Perhaps I'll peek in and see what's what.

But you have some talented tuggers here, with some fun ideas. I've tried in my small way to stir the pot a bit. And I'll be around to swat the hornet's nest. Just remember, be interesting if you want someone to be interested in you! (that last bit is not directed at the two jerker's who posted before me, as they are quite interesting *smiles*)

Nika

[Incubo]

I haven't really been here for very long, but based on what I've seen around, I think that it's pretty obvious why the ladies disappeared. There's really not much for them here. There's a few female sub teases, but not very many. As for the Dommes, good lord! I feel for those ladies. The endless hounding by the hapless wankers around here must be extremely taxing to put up with. And what's in it for them? As I've seen a few of the ladies post before, it's all give and no take for them. Where's the fun in that? Why would they want to continue that sort of arrangment? Give them a reason to stay. Help them enjoy themselves more and they feel better about returning the favor. (That's really directed at no one in particular, just a general suggestion.)

In regards to interaction with other members or socializing, I haven't really seen much of it. Most of what I've seen, seems to be interaction with folks who already know each other. People they are already comfortable with. I can understand that. It's not very encouraging to newer members, but I can understand it.

This is a web site dedicated to, oh how to do I put this.......less than "normal" behavior, I guess. I use the term "normal" very loosely there. Perhaps mainstream would be a better word. I think you know what I mean. There's nothing "wrong" or "unusual" about the things people around here like, it's just not exactly mainstream. There are all sorts of folks around here, some may be interested in the same things, some may not, but I'd bet that out of the 3000+ members, more than a large share of them are shy. Perhaps too shy to participate. Maybe they're too embarrassed about their tastes, or maybe they just think they're weird. Who knows really? Could be any number of reasons. Maybe they're here strictly for their own enjoyment and don't feel like sharing. Maybe they're afraid of being judged by others. Whatever the case may be, I think it's reasonable to expect that a large number of members won't actively participate.

As for myself, I'm a little weird. Who isn't? I'm a little shy in some respects, but I post because I have no fear of being judged. I couldn't really care less what folks think of me. Like me or hate me, that's your choice. I'm not going to change, just to suit you. I guess you could say I have a bit of an attitude, but that's what gets me through some of my "shy" moments. I'm a pretty fair minded accepting person, but I gave up the childish delusion that I could ever possibly please everyone a long time ago.

The chat feature: Well, I'm not exactly a huge fan of chat rooms. Things are a little too distracting for me to carry on a real conversation with someone, but I've notice that when I open it up, there's almost never anyone in there. Now, part of that is probably that I keep strange hours. I've learned to live with that, but a few times I've seen folks in there; no one is talking. Only once did I engage in an actual conversation in there. It was nice, but I've got to wonder: If you go into the chat room, why aren't you talking? Strike up a conversation with anyone. What the hell? What's it going to hurt to try? You might find someone you like talking to.

Carl, I don't know you or how active you are/have been, but it sounds to me like maybe you're just burnt out. Maybe take a break for a little while and come back. See if that spark returns.

Just some thoughts. Take them for what they're worth and remember, you didn't pay anything to read them.

[Makarov]

"I'm frustrated because, ironically, I can no longer become sexually frustrated by mere words and images. I am still the only one in the equation when it comes to my own sexual gratification.

I am only one person, and I just don't know what to do anymore

Am I the only one?"

Nope, you're not the only one; you can count me in, too. These days I consider the web teases to be nothing more than guided masturbation. Sure, the fantasy of it all is a nice distraction at first, but then you realize you still don't have a girlfriend and it's just you.

That said, webteases do provide nice variety, rather than watch the same pornos over and over again, and I endorse people who make them.

And as for life being a journey...I'd imagine it's a journey without destinations. Even if you plan on going one way, you're just going to be tugged along in another direction. So...that doesn't make for an enjoyable journey most of the time, or one where you can at least forsee good tidings just over the next rise.

Or if you're feeling morbid, the journey of life has a destination. Death.

Or if you're feeling cynical, the journey of life has a destination. Retirement condo in Florida.

[aldorax]

I'm sorry to see some of you go, but I can understand your concerns.

FWIW saying, for me, I've not scripted a tease here, because although I've tried to get the creative juices flowing, nothing really seemed to work in my mind. The last forray into creating T*D was a few stories I did years ago and posted in the Stories forum here this past summer. (I *think* I am devious from a T*D perspective in terms of prose, and certainly in real life.)

To compensate and "give back" to the Milo community, I've tried to be constructive in my comments publicly and privately to those who have scripted teases, offer suggestions, and try to be a (relatively) active person in the forums as part of helping move the community along. It ain't much, compared to some of the fantastic teases and efforts put in by others, admittedly. But I do like the interactivity of the Webtease experience as opposed to flat-out porn videos, which for the most part I just can not stand.

Are there things I'd love to try here? Sure. I'd love to try doing a tease chat sometime "just to see what it's all about" and would love to try a video chat sometime if I could overcome my desire for "visual anonmity" in a world of Facebook, YouTube, and such where you can't ever know with certainty that videos or stills won't make it somewhere you don't want them to go. Unfortunately, the only way I've seen to overcome that on my end would, IMHO, take much of the fun out of it for the Mistress, so I've just tucked that away as an enticing teasing experience that likely will remain a fantasy for me. Le sigh.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Hate to see you hit a brick wall here in terms of your experience, but we all must do what we must. Sad to see you go -- you've been here from the beginning, I think!

[Oh2BTeased]

I've been here awhile and while I haven't participated much I have learned that this is not a site for long term daily use. At least it is not for me. So I concur with Incubo in that maybe you are burned out a bit. Also there will be some of us for whom this site is the "ne plus ultra", but for most of us it will be a pleasant albeit temporary distraction between life events.

Please enjoy your journey and come back when you are ready.

[seraph0x]

I have to say this is a fairly interesting thread. First off I wanna address the nostalgia. I understand. Fuck, I even share it. There's many people I miss and that I wish were still here. And yeah, it would be great to have lots of girls hanging around these forums, but that's like the Hugh Hefner going "I wish we'd have more female readers." Webteases appeal to guys, so the community is naturally mostly guys.

We don't need to "save the site" since we have more visitors then ever before, posting and reading more teases than ever before with a larger spectrum of different styles than ever before. We had a page view record yesterday. That means more tease pages were read yesterday than on any other day in our history. And that's just what you, the community, have achieved. I haven't been idle either, but I want to wait with announcements until I can show something for it.

Considering how often people have proclaimed the end of Milovana... I guess the condemned really do live longer. From my own experience I would encourage you though to take breaks from Milovana. Webteases are fun like chocolate cake, but you shouldn't eat it every day for the rest of your life. Go do something else and come back if and when you feel like it. We'll be here, I promise.

[curved]

I've been here awhile and while I haven't participated much I have learned that this is not a site for long term daily use. At least it is not for me. So I concur with Incubo in that maybe you are burned out a bit. Also there will be some of us for whom this site is the "ne plus ultra", but for most of us it will be a pleasant albeit temporary distraction between life events.

Please enjoy your journey and come back when you are ready.

Spot on my friend - its just a bit of fun surely!!!

This is not the place to find a Domme/Mistress etc unless you are extremely lucky. If thats what you want then just develop the relationship you already have (that worked for me). Or pay for it...

[blue_down_under]

I agree with everyone who has said that milovana is just a bit of fun. That's absolutely true, but I can't help but feel that it used to be a bit more fun a while ago. It seems that back then there were more girls around, and the contributions of Mz Teneale and Jenna in the beginning were invaluable. Nowadays it seems it's just thread after thread of tease requests and lame attempts at trying to find a mistress by people who have contributed little to nothing to the community.

Like Seraphox said, milovana now has more members than ever before, and with that change, I think we need other changes too. Honestly, I think we need more moderation. I know, I know, milovana prides itself on being open to everyone, and I dig that, but when people are posting things that aren't contributing to the community, I think something should be done about that. I'm not saying we should be banning people, not at all, that should only be a last resort, but when someone signs up and makes their first post 30 minutes later saying "I'll be on cam for any Mistress wanting to tease me", I think it should be deleted. Not only does a post like that not contribute to the community, it actively detracts from it, even if it is closed by a mod. If that's the first thing a newcomer to milovana sees, well, it's not a good impression to say the least.

Considering the example above, I feel I should also point out that obviously posts like that are going to drive off more females than males. Guys are going to come here, and keep coming back here, because of the webteases, but webteases themselves offer little to keep the women of milovana interested. We need to continue making the forums fun interesting and unique if we want more women hanging around (which we do, duh), and get rid of the crap posts which make these forums look like a boring kink community like so many others on the net.

Oh, and the Links Page needs a bit of updating, which I would be happy to help with.

[HmniC]

We need to continue making the forums fun interesting and unique if we want more women hanging around (which we do, duh), and get rid of the crap posts which make these forums look like a boring kink community like so many others on the net.

Think about this for a second, if you would. I can't think of a kink community other than this one and the OD/Erotic Humiliation family that even had the visible potential to not be one of said boring kink communities. Most of them are ghost towns, and the populated ones are usually lousy with the standard assortment of forum trolls, bullies, white knights, etc. I don't post because I'm shy and especially leery of internet fora, but it's worth stepping out to show a bit of support for the only place I can think of where people might actually communicate about their sexuality instead of just hurling smug self-satisfaction at each other. It's good that Milovana is becoming more popular, but I hope that it will retain that spark of playfulness that sets it apart; after all, what else is teasing about?

[Carlcjjohnson]

Wow, I'm humbled by the responses I've received here. I half-expected to find that I was blocked on attempting to log on today, as though I'd said something truly blasphemous and offensive!

Sorry to see you go Indigo, but I'm glad I could provide you with the plinth from which you could leave gracefully.

Thanks for not forgetting me Nika, I hope you can see who is genuine on these forums. Please, try not to forget any of us who matter.

Thanks for responding Seraphox. Considering you're the big boss and you share much of my views, it makes me feel better.

Thanks to everyone who responded. Maybe I will take a break . . .