INSIDE OUT dick syndrome?

[book_guy]

the famous Arranged Wrong Dick malady ...

My dick often feels like it got turned inside-out. SO annoying. Does your dick get annoying and all wonky in there, to the point that you feel that you have to pull on it, rearrange it, fix it, while it's sitting there in your pants? It could be described as "inside-out" or "wrong-directional" or "stuck to itself" or just "arranged wrong". Does this happen to you?

I dunno, maybe people don't want to talk about this sort of thing, but ... if not here, then WHERE?

[book_guy]

So here's some more about my wrongly arranged dick ...

I experience this all the time. My dick's skin gets annoyingly turned the wrong way, inside pants and underwear, stuck somehow to the wrong part of balls or another point on dick or head. There I am, having a normal day, when suddenly everything down there is DESPERATE for rearrangement. WTF!?? Somehow, due to bad luck, due to random chance, or due to the evil designs of a malicious goddess, the skin of my dick's SHAFT has begun to try to act like what it ain't, and it goes somewhere that it ain't supposed to go, trying to do the job of foreskin or something. The skin from, say, an inch up the shaft from the frenulum, is now encasing the glans a bit, just on one side. Some shaft-skin has gone walk-about, is traveling up the dick, even though its proper post is well down the dick elsewhere from where it's trying to go. Why doesn't it want to stay where it started? This wandering skin is traveling around partly because it got stuck to the scrotum and then pulled upwards, or maybe because the glans got stuck in reverse fashion to the scrotum and got pulled downwards, or something like that. I can't really pinpoint it. It can happen sideways, upwards, downwards, or even all-around in a circular full-encapsulation fashion ... HATE that one, it's the WORST ... and I don't know what to do about it. Except grope at myself in public in an embarrassing fashion.

By the way, I don't own an actual foreskin, because I was circumcised soon after my birth. So, when I say that my shaft-skin tries to act like foreskin, that's just a metaphor and I can recall no actual experience with foreskin. But there seem to be no other problems with my dick, except this uncomfortable rearrangement which it seems to insist on regularly imposing on me. It is really getting old. Mostly it's been this way all my life.

Possible causes?

1. Pants too tight or too loose. But which -- dick gets inside-out at either extreme of tightness and looseness and sometimes in the middle, too.
2. Underwear too tight or too loose. Same conundrum.
3. Too much or too little sweat, lubricant of some other sort, hair, powder, body-odor, what?
4. Wrong design, cut, style, or tailoring to my pants. More drop? Less? More seat? Longer inseam? Shorter?
5. Not enough, too much sex, whacking off, urinating, erections, piercings?
6. Too fat. Too skinny. Too tall. Too short. Too White. Not White enough?

Possible mitigating or exacerbating factors?

1. Atmospheric humidity, temperature, lack or excess there-of, due to the day's weather.
2. Dryness, wetness, other body conditions, due to exercise.
3. Material of clothing, whether it "breathes" enough, too little, too much, and entraps the right amount of moisture.
4. Amount (volume, thickness) of clothing, due to choices made on basis of external temperature -- winter layers versus summer layers, etc.
5. Movement of clothing. Some shirts tucked in will pull underwear sideways? Some shirts aren't tucked in? whatever ...
6. Saggy balls: whether I've lately had a massive set of orgasms and thereby drained my balls so they sag and thus dangle low with excess scrotum skin; or, conversely, whether I've had some ball-slapping coitus lately, after which my scrotum gets swollen and harder than usual, so the balls DON'T sag with excess skin. Dunno which one, could be either or both.

Possible solutions?

1. Dress to dangle less. Wear tighter undies, like tightie-whities, boxer-briefs, or a type of blue-jeans which encase the sack and shaft from the outside of the underwear and offer support.
2. Dress to dangle more. Wear loose-fitting open-legged boxers, and similarly open-legged pants on top. Maybe, no underwear at all?
3. Dress for cool or warm. Change the overall temperature at which I'm allowing my dick to rest, by increasing or decreasing clothing relative to what I've been doing in the past.
4. Coordinate dangling or heating factors better. Use pants which are the right amount of dangle for whichever underpants I am wearing underneath them. But which goes with what? Make unders and outers have the same amount of looseness, or have opposites, in which case, which one should be the looser one, the inner or outer? Etc.
4. Baby powder, lube, grease, hair shaving, water, sweat maintenance, anti-perspirant down there? How? To what ends? More, less? Of which factors?

I just don't get it. Does EVERY SINGLE MALE have problematic-underwear-dick? Or just circumcised males? There's a Sex And The City episode about this. The guy is pulling at his dick region, through his dress trousers, right there on the street or in the middle of a party. The girl tries to give him new underwear.

[SexualChoc]

how about...
no underwear??