Why You Will Surrender- What's your goal?

[CruelNatalie]

I have a new blog post here:
http://dominantmistressphonesex.com/201 ... -and-soul/

I'd love it if you'd answer the question in comments at my blog. Thank you, it helps me and I promise to answer comments there.

To bring up a question for discussion here

Do you feel there is an untapped part of you that is longing to explore? Can you describe it? What would be the best way for you to safely express your erotic submissive needs? Or dominant or just sexual needs in general. For instance is you preferred outlet just to jerk off to movies or is there something else that would be more perfect for you? Let's discuss.

[sissy susan]

definitely. for lack of better word, the feminine side of me. i have a low self esteem - feel i am not good enough for a beautiful woman to accept me, and yet am not a woman.... so i deserve disdain, punishment and humiliation.

for me, just the slightest personal touches. push me over the edge

[CruelNatalie]

definitely. for lack of better word, the feminine side of me. i have a low self esteem - feel i am not good enough for a beautiful woman to accept me, and yet am not a woman.... so i deserve disdain, punishment and humiliation.

for me, just the slightest personal touches. push me over the edge

awwwwww

Do you find that punishment and humiliation bring you relief or do you truly believe thats what you deserve? There's someone for everyone, really, however it's also ok if you choose this lifestyle to complete you. Let me give you an example susan..

I have a wonderful sissy that I've been training online for almost 6 years. We've never met but I do think we are very close. He has very low self esteem and was heavy into self inflicted punishment. Many many years of depression and trying to escape the feelings of wanting to be feminine. When I met him we have a few phone sex calls. Then one Saturday he called and we talked for 3 hours! I learned a lot about his past, his sexuality and many very personal things he had never discussed with anyone. That's the beauty of phone/cyber relationships- I'm a voice on the phone and yet we connected so profoundly. I took him in for training and he had to answer to me. Things have become more intense and we are both really into hardcore humiliation. Before humiliation would send him into weeks of depression. Today its fun, hot and sexy because we share it, we enjoy it and we get a little crazy with it.

Does that make sense?

[CruelNatalie]

and btw a lot of guys go through feelings of guilt and do weird shit because of it. Working in phone sex I hear it a lot. This is the main reason I wanted to present this topic. I'm curious how you go about exploring and if its constructive or destructive to your day to day.

[sissy susan]

nothing terribly destructive. i buy panties, or toys then end up throwing away because the guilt gets to be too much. i mainly live as a sissy fantasy-wise. when i do have panties I mainly wear them around the house. have gone out a few times and it feels so sexy. i don't like over the top stuff. i would never pass for a woman. i have put on lip gloss around the house and that feels great too. so i sorta just am getting toes wet. and alternate between feeling so sexy and thrilled to feeling v guilty and ashamed and afraid.

[CruelNatalie]

nothing terribly destructive. i buy panties, or toys then end up throwing away because the guilt gets to be too much. i mainly live as a sissy fantasy-wise. when i do have panties I mainly wear them around the house. have gone out a few times and it feels so sexy. i don't like over the top stuff. i would never pass for a woman. i have put on lip gloss around the house and that feels great too. so i sorta just am getting toes wet. and alternate between feeling so sexy and thrilled to feeling v guilty and ashamed and afraid.

The great purge is something a lot of people do. At some point it would be really empowering for you to own that part of you. I found that a great practice is to completely define your "girl". Give her a full name, personality, etc. Allow her to fully engage. Do this keeping both Susan and your boy separate.

[sissy susan]

i sorta do this. Susan is much different than the big, ugly oaf she shares a body with.

But that sometimes is tough, when I realize I will never be her.

[Madden]

I have always been meek and submissive. As I've gotten older I've discovered I have a need to submit. A desire within me that only seems to be quenched when I'm surrendering control to another. Lately chastity has been my main kink. Giving up control of something as basic as your ability to get an erection or have an orgasm to another is a powerful feeling. When they decide the period is over and I have to ask for permission to remove the cage, and beg them to allow me to bring myself to orgasm in whatever way they think best. Well for me, that's about as humiliating / erotic a feeling as I've ever experienced.

For some reason pleasing someone enough to be told that I am a "good boy" or a "good pet" fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling. It's almost like a drug. A powerfully addictive drug that you want more and more of.

Humbly,
madden

[CruelNatalie]

I have always been meek and submissive. As I've gotten older I've discovered I have a need to submit. A desire within me that only seems to be quenched when I'm surrendering control to another. Lately chastity has been my main kink. Giving up control of something as basic as your ability to get an erection or have an orgasm to another is a powerful feeling. When they decide the period is over and I have to ask for permission to remove the cage, and beg them to allow me to bring myself to orgasm in whatever way they think best. Well for me, that's about as humiliating / erotic a feeling as I've ever experienced.

For some reason pleasing someone enough to be told that I am a "good boy" or a "good pet" fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling. It's almost like a drug. A powerfully addictive drug that you want more and more of.

Humbly,
madden

I think that's hot.

I believe that submission penetrates us and gets down to where we have the biggest voids. Sometimes the best way to heal is to surrender. I'm not sure that makes sense. lol But I do know that everyone has "something" deep inside that needs to be free. Finding that something and expressing it in a healthy constructive way is the key.

[jackstock]

I want advancement. People that help each other advance emotionally to a new place. New places of happiness, fulfillment. As a sub I want my domme to support and encourage pleasure, well-being, and strength. I want a little help to be at my best.
If I'm financially dominated, I want help through encouragement of my abundance (and as a means of providing more to the domme as well). That's super hot. And it feels bonding to me.
If I'm dominated in other ways, I want to be encouraged to live an abundant, clean, fresh, fun life. It can be fun to make nice things for the domme and myself, like a clean house, good food, lots of money, giving all the sex she wants, etc.

And if I'm being dommy then I want to encourage these things from the sub.

I'm all about having peace, relaxation, and nice things
Thats what really makes me surrender.

Thanks for the awesome thread Natalie

[CruelNatalie]

I want advancement. People that help each other advance emotionally to a new place. New places of happiness, fulfillment. As a sub I want my domme to support and encourage pleasure, well-being, and strength. I want a little help to be at my best.
If I'm financially dominated, I want help through encouragement of my abundance (and as a means of providing more to the domme as well). That's super hot. And it feels bonding to me.
If I'm dominated in other ways, I want to be encouraged to live an abundant, clean, fresh, fun life. It can be fun to make nice things for the domme and myself, like a clean house, good food, lots of money, giving all the sex she wants, etc.

And if I'm being dommy then I want to encourage these things from the sub.

I'm all about having peace, relaxation, and nice things
Thats what really makes me surrender.

Thanks for the awesome thread Natalie

right on! I always love reading your post.

I think that I offer that and more even in my online/professional domination. You have different types:

1) The man who is articulate, thinks things through and comes up with a well thought out plan for his sexual needs.

2) The man who get hard, scurries about frantically to find whatever it takes to get off, get done and move on.

3) The man who needs more then stroking to get into "that space" where he longs to be.

They can over lap, of course.


I love a fully evolve D/s relationship that stimulates me on every level. I am lucky to have these relationships in my life.

[ZslaveX]

Everything is just a fantasy, except the little bits I have experienced in RT.

My ultimate goal is to find a woman to be with forever. Me being locked up in chastity, only released for torment and torture. I want to eventually get to the point where I literally beg to have no more orgasms, ever. Going down on my mistress and giving her orgasms multiple times a day should be more then enough for both of us.

I live to serve, and feel like my life is a waste if I am not pleasing my mistress 24/7

I don't know why, or where I got it from, but I have the strongest urge to be controlled for life by a cruel mistress who only uses me for her pleasure.

[CruelNatalie]

Everything is just a fantasy, except the little bits I have experienced in RT.

My ultimate goal is to find a woman to be with forever. Me being locked up in chastity, only released for torment and torture. I want to eventually get to the point where I literally beg to have no more orgasms, ever. Going down on my mistress and giving her orgasms multiple times a day should be more then enough for both of us.

I live to serve, and feel like my life is a waste if I am not pleasing my mistress 24/7

I don't know why, or where I got it from, but I have the strongest urge to be controlled for life by a cruel mistress who only uses me for her pleasure.

I have a slave that stays in chastity 24/7. The only time that he is unlocked is to have sex with me or if he's at my house for the weekend where he can be supervised. He has the most wonderful cock which is why I took possession of it. There are times when he has to wait a month (I'm on vacation or busy) before he is allowed out or to have release. Honestly I didn't think he was serious about doing this but it's been 2 years. He has no desire to date and he's a young guy. At one point I encouraged him to date and get involved in a relationship but he declined. He told me that he was born to serve me no matter what that meant.

There are some people I have met that I believe are born this way. I know that for me its just not an option. I've tried straight vanilla and it just does nothing for me. I have relationships with some special men where I know that they would wait forever for just the slightest bit of attention. On the other hand I just have no desire to be in monogamous relationship. I don't even want slaves to live with me because I enjoy my space. It doesn't mean I care about them any less.

Having said that my question for you is- Could you do that? Could you serve a woman who had multiple slaves? Because a strong controlling Domina is probably not going to be happy with just one.

[aka_ireland]

The submissiveness, for me, is partially pure fantasy and partially a turn on itself. The over arching drive is that I get pleasure from pleasing my partner. Whether that partner is someone I'm committing to in RL or virtually or in fantasy it still gives me some amount of pleasure. the act of pleasing someone can be as a dominant, or a submissive, or neither as long as I'm seeing that the person is getting pleasure. In a submissive role I enjoy the attention, and keeping my mistress' attention by keeping her entertained or aroused, or hopefully both.

There is another aspect of it that excites me, and that is of the challenge. Enduring what my mistress is doling out as a personal challenge to see what I can take.

My favorite way to explore my submissive is through an experienced dominant online or on the phone. The reason for this is that we both know why we are there and trying it. We are exploring, we can push boundaries, and everyone understands we can reign it in if needed. If I were to do that with my wife, I wouldn't want to her to take something that I am "trying out" and reading more into it. I don't want to be cuckolded and suck cock in real life. But, sucking on a dildo for a mistress can be fun.

Once I've found something I know I like and can put it in some context, I try to incorporate it into my sex life with my wife. Spanking (giving and getting) is a personal example of this. It was, and still is a little, embarrassing to discuss with her, but she has accepted that it turns me on and we have ways we explore it.

[ZslaveX]

Everything is just a fantasy, except the little bits I have experienced in RT.

My ultimate goal is to find a woman to be with forever. Me being locked up in chastity, only released for torment and torture. I want to eventually get to the point where I literally beg to have no more orgasms, ever. Going down on my mistress and giving her orgasms multiple times a day should be more then enough for both of us.

I live to serve, and feel like my life is a waste if I am not pleasing my mistress 24/7

I don't know why, or where I got it from, but I have the strongest urge to be controlled for life by a cruel mistress who only uses me for her pleasure.

I have a slave that stays in chastity 24/7. The only time that he is unlocked is to have sex with me or if he's at my house for the weekend where he can be supervised. He has the most wonderful cock which is why I took possession of it. There are times when he has to wait a month (I'm on vacation or busy) before he is allowed out or to have release. Honestly I didn't think he was serious about doing this but it's been 2 years. He has no desire to date and he's a young guy. At one point I encouraged him to date and get involved in a relationship but he declined. He told me that he was born to serve me no matter what that meant.

There are some people I have met that I believe are born this way. I know that for me its just not an option. I've tried straight vanilla and it just does nothing for me. I have relationships with some special men where I know that they would wait forever for just the slightest bit of attention. On the other hand I just have no desire to be in monogamous relationship. I don't even want slaves to live with me because I enjoy my space. It doesn't mean I care about them any less.

Having said that my question for you is- Could you do that? Could you serve a woman who had multiple slaves? Because a strong controlling Domina is probably not going to be happy with just one.

That would be very difficult for me to accept, I would like to feel like my service is fulfilling enough for her. I want to be the perfect slave, that can do it all for my mistress. Unless they were just other slaves, like chastity slaves, errand boys, or money slaves and stuff like that I wouldn't mind. However when it comes to intimacy, I don't think I would be very happy at all with other slaves pleasuring her sexually.

Yet, if it is what she truly desires, who am I to tell my mistress no. I would accept it if it's what she really wants, but I would not be happy about it.