I know we all like some sort of kinky themes within the teases on this site, and enjoy the whole concept of for example femdom with regard to fantasy, but who here is kinky in real life, as in, does some of this type of stuff with a partner?
As for me personally, I was rather surprised(pleasantly) to find how much I enjoy this site, since I'm normally not into bondage(apart from occasional online photos) and all that. I'm into 'regular' sex as equals, and keep this stuff as fantasy(don't get me wrong, my GF and I experimented a bit, but it was just a case of me liking 'tea' while others like 'coffee'; she's similar, but kinkier than I am )
That being said, I'd love to hear some others thoughts about this, and how involved you are in the kink realm. I never get tired of sharing diverse experiences.
Basically, where are you on the spectrum of 'vanilla'........'very kinky'........'sweet jesus I don't want to know'
I am single, and I was always staying away from relationships. Though, in case of non-permanent occasions, I participated "on-topic" as I am not into typically vanilla sex. So, as a person who is not looking for any "emotional commitments" I was never participating in 24/7 nor in anything requiring special ammounts of trust.
I have a play partner and we are gradually taking eachother deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.
I'm a switch who dominates her and I'm surprised at how natural it feels to own ,control and care for her.
I have no idea what I'm still doing here cause the teases have lost all appeal since I experienced the real deal.
Kinks are a "need" in me in rl, in the 'very kinky' range I'd say. I'd rather be single than to be in an unfulfilling vanilla relation. It would be fake for me to be in such a vanilla relation, like a lie, incomplete, if there were no kinks. If a girl isn't kinky in some way or not willing to try, or to be open to them, or explore, it's a deal-breaker with me & the relation cannot continue more than a friendship. Also, if she wants/needs kinky things which I am not into or I cannot provide for her (such as being out of the realm of my limits.... other men/bisexual/trans, kids, animals, cuckolding, piss, poop...), then it's also not worth it & I cannot remain in it. I want to be flexible & pushed hard, but there are some things I just could not do
Meeting/finding someone who is open to kinks seems a somewhat delicate balance, but I am flexible... i.e., I love latex but if she doesn't or has allergies to it, that could be okay if she enjoys leather. As a sub, it's not about what I want but what I can give Her. Yes, I do hope for & want kinks. As long as I know she is interested in some of such things, then the relation can continue, but it is for Her to decide if, when, & where... as long as I know she enjoys some of the same kinks. It is interesting to see someone who never explored but is open-minded or is a slightly kinky person in a relation, how they react & see what these kinks do, how they feel, the reactions.... they can be addicting or can really pull someone into trying more kinky things. It can be a power trip. They can also scare someone away.
I don't trust anyone right after meeting them, so kinks are not usually mentioned at first. Kinks are explored after we get to know each other, build some trust, establish a relation, share thoughts & ideas, & understand what the other wants/needs. It's a process to me, just another step in getting to know someone. Tough to find. But in getting to know someone, you can flirt in such ways to reveal if someone is potentially interested in kinks or not. So yes, I need them in real life.
Yes, it's tough to come back here after a rl experience, especially to a straight guy, seeing all the bi/gay/piss/cock sucking/cuckolding teases lately. But for me, this is an outlet until I can again meet someone in rl. There are plenty of good teases to keep my kinky mind going & my fantasies stirring.
Well, I do need kinkiness irl. It's just a part of who I am. Not a part that I'd flaunt to everyone around, but getting into a serious relationship definitely requires my would-be partner to at the very least accept my kinks. Otherwise I'll go on searching.
That though is easy to say, hard to do. I kind of envy the people living near to huge metroplitan hubs like New York, London, Tokyo, etc. It's so much easier to find people with similar interests. Living in the ass end of an Eastern European countryside though... well, yeah. There's a grand total of six people on fetlife in a 100 km range. Four of them are guys, two of them are women in their late forties. (I'm 25 for the record.) So my only chance is getting lucky, because there's simply no such a thing as a BDSM community here. But I decided not to push it, I'll graduate from my university next year (well, hopefully) and then I'll leave this junkyard once and for all and move to a more... civilised segment of the world. To make sure that I don't get rooted down here, I've been purposefully avoiding every chance to get a partner.
As for how kinky I am, well, I'm not a lifestyler. I'm not into the 24/7 sub/dom relationship. I'm a switch and for me BDSM is a game. A game of pushing the boundaries, satisfying my curiosity and discovering new things. My main kinks are sadomasochism and tease & denial, both as a dominant and as a submissive, but aside of some hard limits I'm willing to give pretty much anything a go. At worst I won't like it and then that's that. But to do that I'd need a partner, whom I can trust and with whom I can be "weird" with. An ideal partner would be a likeminded switch, with whom the kinky-sexy stuff would stay in the bedroom (figuratively speaking of course, no objection against more... interesting locations) and for the rest of of our "everyday life" we would be equal, vanilla partners of each other.
But then again, finding that special someone is not easy. Especially not around here. And I'm just not into one-night stands. To get in bed with someone, I need to trust them and that's not going to happen in a few hours spent in a bar.
Xardas wrote:Living in the ass end of an Eastern European countryside though... well, yeah. There's a grand total of six people on fetlife in a 100 km range. Four of them are guys, two of them are women in their late forties.
Banquo wrote:Define "real life" Just because a lot of this activity is internet based doesn't make it any less "real."
If you mean, "do you play with people offline?" Then I have done, but only really with people I met on this website.
I think it strictly means some "psychological" aspescts. For example (never mind the BDSM, domination etc. contexts) - if a person has a fantasies about having sex with a person of the same gender, it doesn't mean that he/she is homo- or bisexual. The same with other fantasies - they are only in our minds. But when it comes to reality, we sometimes may see, that a thing which was interesting to us, is not able to work in a real life. There is another example, this time this example am I. I always thought, that I, as a submissive guy, am able to be somehow addicted (not really addicted, by I don't know a 100% correct English equivalent) to another person. Generally, I am very rebelious, and unable to receive orders. Due to this, I will not be able to live in a 24/7 relationship (maybe, for a period, e.g. for a week). But before I was aquinted with every single consequnces of, let's say, quiting smoking I realised, that it I can't live like that. If I have to choose between quiting smoking because someone wants me to do so, or not going to prison as a result of being aggresive and resigning of this kind of relationship (I am even without quitting), I'll choose resigning.
You know, sexuality is not a prior thing in human life.
Again, "real life" may also mean, that we are in "vanilla" relationship and we have never tried such things. It sometimes happens, especially when you live in a conservative country, where this is perceived as being...strange? No, strange would be so light. I live in such country and I'm generally scared to mention this thing of my life. So I am not doing this.
Hi everyone. I am Kinky both professionally and personally, what you'd call a Lifestyle Domme. What may seem as a dream for most submissive men is how I spend all my time, and it's not easy. I do not see Myself involved with a man who is not submissive, the males in My life have spoiled Me so much that I'm demanding and at times impossible.
I tried some vanilla dating at a point in life. I was turned off by the wannabe male dominants aka pushovers and I ended up with a submissive man who confessed I'm his dream come true. So much for vanilla
Regards,
Christine
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