Feedback: Ravelli's Corruption [TeaseMe]

[Pseudonym]

Hi guys!
Lately I've played around with TeaseMe a little bit and here is result:


Ravelli's Corruption is story based tease situated in middleage / fantasy world.
I had a great fun learning and experimenting and I hope that at leaset some of you'll like it and have fun playing it.
If you experience bugs, typos or any other problems please let me know. This is not final version and I'm planning to fix it and add more things based on your feedback.

Also please keep in mind that this is my first tease and english is not my native language so don't expect some Shakespearean level of expressing and story telling


UPDATE (29.4.2018):

Download link (FIXED version 1.1):
https://mega.nz/#!xI1RyDDK!sMjmZ7q51i-5 ... hw0Qz2GtAA



Changes:
-Now you can undress all girls
-Proof-readed by Dethsul (huge thanks!)
-Added few sounds
-Pictures in intro and Jessa encounter are now slightly randomized
-Added point counter and "save number" generator - your choices and acquired items will have impact on story in the future

Overall no big changes so please don't expect hours of new content.
If you find some problems or bugs please let me know and I'll try to fix it ASAP.

[kong]

Wohoo! I really liked the tease!
It is a bit like CumQuest, which btw is awesome imho!

Spoiler: show

Some of the buttons have a really long name, and I can not see all the name on the buttons.

In the beginning there is a story, it's maybe better if we could click the continue button because everyone reads at different speeds.
I really like the story and the optional elf-women. It would be more awesome if you get points to your character for doing optional things, and maybe open up side-teases, and more optional side-quests in the beginning, I liked the quest (finding herbs, was really gr8!). Another thing about the herbs, you can maybe find some poisonous herbs that makes it harder for you, or that you walk through a cloudy environment that effect you.
It's a really great story, but maybe too little stroking in the beginning?
The sounds are really great, that makes me more easy to be into the game. (When the lady shows you sexual visions, you could maybe add moaning sounds to add to the effect). Another thing you did great was with the time needed for edging, that it continued changing pictures and encouragement's.

I can barely wait for what's coming next!

[tBone]

Hi guys!
Download link (version 0.9):
http://dfiles.eu/files/lzxmhrsts

Consider using mega.co.nz instead.

[badjano]

Really great tease!

[bitemytail]

I like to concept, but I've come across several typos & spelling/grammar errors.

If you aren't a native English speaker, consider having someone proof-read the script.

[Weabols]

!

[Pseudonym]

I'm glad that you liked it.

Wohoo! I really liked the tease!
It is a bit like CumQuest, which btw is awesome imho!

Spoiler: show

Some of the buttons have a really long name, and I can not see all the name on the buttons.

In the beginning there is a story, it's maybe better if we could click the continue button because everyone reads at different speeds.
I really like the story and the optional elf-women. It would be more awesome if you get points to your character for doing optional things, and maybe open up side-teases, and more optional side-quests in the beginning, I liked the quest (finding herbs, was really gr8!). Another thing about the herbs, you can maybe find some poisonous herbs that makes it harder for you, or that you walk through a cloudy environment that effect you.
It's a really great story, but maybe too little stroking in the beginning?
The sounds are really great, that makes me more easy to be into the game. (When the lady shows you sexual visions, you could maybe add moaning sounds to add to the effect). Another thing you did great was with the time needed for edging, that it continued changing pictures and encouragement's.

I can barely wait for what's coming next!

Very interesting ideas.

Spoiler: show

If you can't see all buttons try to move the vertical bar in the tease window. I'll consider adding the continue button at the start of the tease - I'll test it if it feels better. Some of those optional "quests" and your decisions may affect the story. I'm also going to add "honorable" and "corruption" points. You'll get different endings at the end of the series based on your points. And yes I'll add more sounds.

I like to concept, but I've come across several typos & spelling/grammar errors.

If you aren't a native English speaker, consider having someone proof-read the script.

I hear you. The quality of text is pretty bad. I'm ashamed (Today I've found the phrase: "I'll SPEAR your life" while editing. What was I thinking when I was writing this?! )
Dethsul offered help with proof-read so if it work out I'm sure it will get better in next version.



Again thanks for feedback and ideas!

[Dethsul]

I had a good amount of time to thoroughly test the tease. Fortunately I feel the text is mostly good. Apart from some fragments and the simple errors, it all seems easy to fix. I'm on board with making more use of a continue button. I think the option to find herbs should be removed once all events and items have been exhausted; i.e: the female barbarian horseman and the herbs. Adding a % chance of finding herbs (unless it's desired to be hidden) or something along the lines of 'slight chance', 'good chance'. Did anyone else love the environmental ambiance? It very much adds to the immersion factor and in a way reminds me of Myst. Once you go North toward the mountains, you can't go back. I'd like to see a message of some sort informing the player of events not yet triggered. Looking forward to future updates and would very much like to see this tease to completion.

[Pseudonym]

I need help with code. I came acros a problem with "or" function. While mentioned, this function is actually not used in tutorial for teaseme code.

It seems that when used in "if set" it works as it should but for some reason when i use it in "if not set" it does not work at all. I've spend few hours trying to solve this problem, searching for answer in forum even looking to other teases code but no luck.

Here is very simple example:
<Button target="test" if-not-set="A|B">Test</Button>

I want this button to be hidden while A OR B is set but it is still showing. It is hidden only when A AND B is set. What the heck is going on here?

Please help. If I'll not figure this out soon my head will explode :D

[desertfox]

I haven't ever used the teasmme or guideme programs before, but I liked your cock hero blue magic so freaken much I had to check this out. It was a pretty awesome start! I liked the idea of questing and finding objects, the elf girl was a really cool 'bonus' thing to find, I can see lots of cool things with this one for sure!

I haven't used teasme or anything, but looking at the logic, lets see if i write it regular code, which I assume it gets translated to. What you wrote with

<Button target="test" if-not-set="A|B">Test</Button>

seems to want to be:

Code: Select all

 if( !A || !B )    show_button(); 

Which should show the button if A is false without caring what B is.

If A is true, it now tests B. If B is false, the button is shown. If B is true, the button is hidden.

So, if you just lay out every option following those rules, you get:

Code: Select all

 A          B           RESULTFalse, False = Show buttonFalse, True = Show buttonTrue, False = Show buttonTrue, True = Hide button 

 

Which seem to be your results.

I think what you may want there instead is an AND. We can follow that through again:

<Button target="test" if-not-set="A&B">Test</Button> (not sure on syntax!)

Code: Select all

 if( !A && !B )    show_button(); 

First we test A. If it is true, we auto fail the whole statement, the button is hidden.
If A is false, good, but now we have to test B. If that is true, we fail and the button is hidden. If B is also false though, we do show the button.

Table is:

Code: Select all

 A          B           RESULTFalse, False = Hide ButtonFalse, True = Show buttonTrue, False = Show buttonTrue, True = Show button 

In that set up, you need to have both A and B unset to ever see that button, which I think is what you are going for.

So that may not be the straight up answer but hope it helps get you to it!

[Pseudonym]

desertfox, you sir are genius!

It is working exactly as you said. Thank you for your quick and detailed answer. You have saved me from lot of frustration!

[power]

hi guys...how can you put this thing to work?
tnx for help.

[Pseudonym]

You need a TeaseMe in order to play this.

You can get it from here:
http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6993

[desertfox]

No problem! Logic problems like that get to me all the time and what I usually do is just walk them like that to make sure everything is going to fall through the way I want. Besides that, it is the very least I can do to help you along making your stuff!

I don't mind slowly taking a pass at cleaning up a bit of the grammar if you want, but you mentioned someone was already on that, also it might get confusing to merge in the two files if you have been working on the one.

Finally, some more feedback, was thinking about what I really liked about blue magic and this one as well (besides sharing the same taste in women ;) ), is the building up of the characters just a touch.

The elf girl here was cool because the dialog has a layer of normalcy over it, well as normal as a typically fantasy quest, but the world isn't quite 'porn land' at first if that makes sense. She was just a typical 'fetch quest' NPC that decides to take a bit of revenge for acting inappropriately.

Same with the blue magic CH was that there were several characters with personalities in it with a bit of a set up before hand. For me that adds a bit of an extra edge on top of everything, it is a bit more than the random clips you get day to day in regular porn.

Anyway good stuff, I feel inspired to try a web tease too of a similar theme, but motivation is always lacking :)

[Pseudonym]

Thanks for offering your help with grammar desertfox but as you said it would probably be a lot of extra work trying to merge multiple files. Right now I'm working really hard to finalize 1.0 version. When I'm done I'll send copy to Dethsul to check it and then I'll release it. If there will be still some issues with text left you'll be welcome to look at it.

Also thanks for your feedback I'm really glad you like my "work". I've put a lot of thoughts and effort into it.

There is also another way you can help to make this part better or posible future parts comming faster.(I'm speaking to whole audience now).

If you have some ideas about story feel free to PM me. I have already figured out basis of the whole story I want to tell but there is still a lot to improve. I could use some inspiration.

Also feel free to send me PM with pictures you think would fit to the world. It is very timeconsuming to search for fitting pictures and sets. (It doesn't need to have medieval theme. Just no modern stuff)