FB: Autumn Riley Rules the Universe

[Nomios]

Hi all!

Now that everyone has had a good amount of time to play the tease, I'd like to officially ask for some feedback regarding it. Just to note, I have added a scene selector at the victory page, as well as a code unlock to jump to the selector from the start of the tease. Beat it once more to get the code.

First, thanks to those who sent feedback, bug reports, and kind words, it was much appreciated.
Second, I do have some specific questions I wouldn't mind having answered:
How was the difficulty of the tease, the length of the scenes, and the objectives?
Was sound overused?
What did you think of the quarter mile section? One minute seemed a little long for each card, but it was limited by the picture set.
What did you think of the peekaboo section? In a longer tease, would it be acceptable to use this gimmick more than once?
Overall, how was the story? After playing through all the scenarios, did everything make sense, or did I leave a loose end somewhere.

Any and all other feedback is welcomed, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!

[lmind]

Autumn Riley is a stunning model, one of my alltime favorites, and your choice of scenes was great.

I tend to dislike tease sequences that require me to count strokes, especially if the count is more than 30, and also especially if there is time pressure. Mentally reciting "forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine..." reduces the immersion, for me. It also makes it hard to read the sexy text on the screen. Reading text, looking at a pic, stroking, and counting to 150, all at the same time, is so much multitasking, it's hard to enjoy (for me!). For endurance-oriented sequences with a high stroke count and/or a timer, I prefer either a metronome or an instruction like "Stroke once per second" so there's no counting strokes. That's just me.

Okay... that said... I really liked the quarter mile sequence in this tease. I think it was a combination of two things. First, Autumn is such an outstanding model, with her character on the screen (and good storytelling, with correct grammar and spelling, to back it up!), I am more willing to tolerate stuff I don't normally tolerate. Second, the sheer audacious magnitude of the task made it sexy.

Spoiler: show

Ask me to stroke and count to 250 without edging, I yawn and tune out; but ask me to stroke and count to 1320 without edging, I say "whoa!" in a good way.

"Tasks of audacious magnitude" should not be overused in a single tease, though. They should be rare "highlights" imho.

You asked specifically about the 1-minute pages. That seemed perfectly fine to me. My primary feedback about that sequence is the amount of text on each page, especially during double-time pages. Again, it's hard to multitask stroking, counting, and reading. On any page where you are stroking 1/s or faster, more than one simple sentence feels like too much, imho. One suggestion is to break up multiple sentences into multiple shorter pages with the same picture. So instead of (picture XYZ, with 2 sentences of text, for 1 minute) you could do (picture XYZ, with 1st sentence, for 30s; then same picture XYZ, with 2nd sentence, for 30s).

Don't let all this constructive criticism mislead you (or anyone reading) though. This tease is great, and I gave it a 5.

-lmind

[mangoman]

Your tease is confusing. But absolutely fabolous too. Loved every section, but I didn't like the randomness. That starting all over again and again and again is just killing the atmosphere for me.

And there is no real ending, right? Or am I too stupid to find it?

[Nomios]

Paswis, I just recently put in a scene selection for the tease, so you no longer have to constantly restart. I just wanted everyone to give it a couple tries before I gave them the ability to really open the tease up and jump around as they wish.

I understand the confusion, there are bits that relate to a greater story not explored here, and the whole concept of folded time and space itself is bound to be a mind**** for some.

And no, there is no "true" ending, you're meant to escape and go back to the main story (not featured in this tease). If you do explore all the scenes though, Autumn does mention the narrator's fate, rather offhandedly, if he does fail in escaping before being crushed by her will. It's about as much finality as I could give it without tipping my hand.

I'm sorry you didn't like the random aspect, I was trying to make it a variable experience, as I dislike replaying the same content over and over again (as with the intro), and I wanted this to be something people could go back to a few times and still find new things.

The large story I'm releasing in the future will have a HUGE amount of randomness built into its story and scenes, but the option to explore at will, will be unlocked after one clean playthrough, so hopefully that satisfies everyone in the end.

[Nomios]

I tend to dislike tease sequences that require me to count strokes, especially if the count is more than 30, and also especially if there is time pressure. Mentally reciting "forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine..." reduces the immersion, for me. It also makes it hard to read the sexy text on the screen. Reading text, looking at a pic, stroking, and counting to 150, all at the same time, is so much multitasking, it's hard to enjoy (for me!). For endurance-oriented sequences with a high stroke count and/or a timer, I prefer either a metronome or an instruction like "Stroke once per second" so there's no counting strokes. That's just me.

I have to admit, this didn't occur to me at all when playtesting, as I already knew the flavor text and images. Creator's bias I guess. I also tend to ignore metronomes and counting in general, (not necessarily because of preference, but because :reasons:), so that wouldn't have jumped out at me as tasking either.

You asked specifically about the 1-minute pages. That seemed perfectly fine to me. My primary feedback about that sequence is the amount of text on each page, especially during double-time pages. Again, it's hard to multitask stroking, counting, and reading. On any page where you are stroking 1/s or faster, more than one simple sentence feels like too much, imho. One suggestion is to break up multiple sentences into multiple shorter pages with the same picture. So instead of (picture XYZ, with 2 sentences of text, for 1 minute) you could do (picture XYZ, with 1st sentence, for 30s; then same picture XYZ, with 2nd sentence, for 30s).

Wow, that is excellent feedback, thank you! I've noticed 1885 (shout out! Love your work man!) using that trick to high effectiveness in his teases, but I was unsure how to it utilize with my own, how much time to give to read the text, where to break the dialogue between pages smoothly, I also didn't want the player to freak out when they weren't able to read everything in the mental domination sequence (as that was part of the fun of the trick), but I guess I should just not over think it so much and just break it up.

Funny too, because I struggled so hard to come up with enough flavor text and patter to occupy the player for those 1 minute pages.

[mangoman]

Paswis, I just recently put in a scene selection for the tease, so you no longer have to constantly restart. I just wanted everyone to give it a couple tries before I gave them the ability to really open the tease up and jump around as they wish.

I understand the confusion, there are bits that relate to a greater story not explored here, and the whole concept of folded time and space itself is bound to be a mind**** for some.

And no, there is no "true" ending, you're meant to escape and go back to the main story (not featured in this tease). If you do explore all the scenes though, Autumn does mention the narrator's fate, rather offhandedly, if he does fail in escaping before being crushed by her will. It's about as much finality as I could give it without tipping my hand.

I'm sorry you didn't like the random aspect, I was trying to make it a variable experience, as I dislike replaying the same content over and over again (as with the intro), and I wanted this to be something people could go back to a few times and still find new things.

The large story I'm releasing in the future will have a HUGE amount of randomness built into its story and scenes, but the option to explore at will, will be unlocked after one clean playthrough, so hopefully that satisfies everyone in the end.

I'm really looking forward to it. :)