Breaking the silence

[lockedout]

Hi

First of all i want to say i love the webteases. You ppl do a great job and i really enjoy them.

Secondly, Im posting here because i feel i need to. Completely selfishly.

I dont expect anyone to read this let alone care, but maybe i can gain some insightful help. First of all, im 27, live in australia and have kinks that i feel i cannot bring up with anyone in person. I appreciate this website and what it provides and i know that maybe my kinks are not as perverse as some but i need to express myself somehow. For me this seems silly to me. I am an attractive male who likes to crossdress at times. I dont know if its a dom sub thing or that i love the female body so much or im just whack. I dont know how to explain it but i sometimes get the feeling that i want to crossdress. Even wishing my body was more feminine. Im six foot two and would not pass. Which haunts me. But then i get a guilty feeling and dismiss my feelings. Its like im two ppl. This sounds depressive but im not. Im a happy guy. Most times, who loves sports and being a guy. Sometimes i get turned on and want to explore, i guess. I dont understand it which is the main reason im posting this. I wish i was shorter and more petite half the time. But then sometimes im more than happy being tall and handsome haha i am not gay, but wouldnt mind some anal play with a woman... I have no trouble dating women and am in a relationship of almost two years with an amazing woman. I have brought up my condition before with her and i got the feeling she hated it and since have avoided it. I WISH i could not have these cravings.. But i do... Im not sure what im after here... I guess some comfort of sorts... I have a "bag" which contains some xdressing stuff.. Which i am pushing myself to throw out next bin day... I dont know if running is the solution however. I guess i just dont understand myself and it really bothers/worries me.

Dont expect replies but am happy to be ousting myself in a way... Maybe if anyone has similar feelings they could lend a hand in some way... I want to not have these feelings. Which leads me to my guilt. The fact i have no one to talk to in person makes me feel so isolated. Im rambling so whatever...

[lockedout]

Wow that sounded somewhat depressive but felt good to get off my chest...

I guess that i hate the fact i sometimes love to crossdress... The guilt gets to me...

[arthurb]

I have a friend who lives in Australia and cross-dresses openly, and he's married with two kids.

I crossdressed (secretly) until I left University, and binned my female clothes, wig, make-up when I left, and I regretted throwing them away. Those lovely fabics. I don't cross dress now, but still fantasise about it.

If I was in a relationship with someone I really cared about (and if not, why am I with them ), I'd be open about it, and if it really wasn't something they wanted, I'd make the sacrifice, and not have the clothes, but I'd hope there'd be lots of other things we'd both like doing together.

So just sharing some experiences so you know you are not alone.

[quazwierdcev225]

I do not have such cravings (though I did win some panties that I have tried on once or twice), but I do have some advice that might or might not be good advice. I would not throw your clothes away (unless you already have), but instead I would keep them somewhere else, like a safe deposit box. That way you don't have to worry about regretting getting rid of them, but they also aren't there to tempt you to wear them.
However, I am not in the same shoes as you and I am out in the USA, so I can't say whether or not that is the right choice.
I would have hoped that your wife would be more tolerant of your kinks, but that doesn't, by any means, mean that she is the wrong one for you. My wife and I are on indefinite separation and sometimes I really wish we could have found another way to make it work. It's possible that if you sit down and have a long talk with your wife you could both get to the bottom of this or come up with a compromise, but it might just drive the two of you apart as well. I don't know what I'm trying to say and now I'm just rambling, but I wish you the best of luck.

[LeanneTG]

Hi

First of all i want to say i love the webteases. You ppl do a great job and i really enjoy them.

Secondly, Im posting here because i feel i need to. Completely selfishly.

I dont expect anyone to read this let alone care, but maybe i can gain some insightful help. First of all, im 27, live in australia and have kinks that i feel i cannot bring up with anyone in person. I appreciate this website and what it provides and i know that maybe my kinks are not as perverse as some but i need to express myself somehow. For me this seems silly to me. I am an attractive male who likes to crossdress at times. I dont know if its a dom sub thing or that i love the female body so much or im just whack. I dont know how to explain it but i sometimes get the feeling that i want to crossdress. Even wishing my body was more feminine. Im six foot two and would not pass. Which haunts me. But then i get a guilty feeling and dismiss my feelings. Its like im two ppl.

There are many different reasons why men crossdress, ranging from clothing fetishes to full-out crossgender identities (which is me) and many things in between. And sometimes, crossgender identities aren't exactly... clean and binary. I can't tell you who you are, only you can, but when you say "Its like im two ppl" I think of bigender identities (described at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender) - maybe look into that and see if it fits.

Guilt is unfortunate, but not surprising. We live in a society that expects a clean division between male and female, that looks down on anything breaking that division as perverted and deviant, and when one grows up in that kind of environment it's hard not to internalize the hate. It's getting a little better in some places, but not everywhere :/

I have a "bag" which contains some xdressing stuff.. Which i am pushing myself to throw out next bin day... I dont know if running is the solution however.

I've known many people who've tried that approach, but I've never seen it work out over the long run.

[allday3]

I feel like I am in a similar situation.

I am (in my opinion) an attractive 23 year old man. I work out, love sports, beer, whiskey, and women. However, I have been developing more and more kinks. First, it was anal toys, then giving myself facials, now panties. I know that I love women and am extremely attracted to them. I sometimes wonder what is going on with me though because of all my kinks. I worry that my girlfriend won't fully accept all of them. As I said I am very straight, but sometimes I have strange thoughts.

I like clothes, and dressing well. I like to tan and kind of like women's clothes too. I always wish I was as sexy as a woman. I wish that girls checked me out like guys do to hot girls. I just want to feel sexy sometimes. However, I do like giving oral to my dildo and vibrator, but I know I wouldn't ever perform it on a real person, but the idea is kind of exciting. I guess it came from doing teases where I had to suck a butt plug or dildo and the idea is kind of hot to me. But these fantasies or whatever they are also bother me a great deal.

I hate myself sometimes because of my kinks and don't know what to think about myself because of them.

Now I know this doesn't totally have to do with crossdressing, etc. but I feel your pain when it comes to trying to figure out your kinks and what they mean. I agree that you should not throw away your things, but if you want to stop you can. I have stopped my kinks before because I was not sure how I felt about them or myself anymore. Sorry I rambled about my issues too. I feel like you're in a similar state. Hope this helps.

When all else fails, do what makes you happy.

[lockedout]

Thanks for the replies. It may sound silly but i was quite drunk at the time i posted this topic and have since been too embarrassed to check up on it.

I dont believe i am bi gender. Just a guy with a wicked sense of imagination and a few kinks... Im only into crossdressing when i am turned on (like 90% of the time) so im putting it down to a simple(?) kink. Still its on my mind a lot. Not that its the only thing on my mind sex-wise. Ive happily dated many women and have not needed to express myself kink-wise to them. More out of fear and guilt than anything else really. I love being dominated in the bedroom. But i also love having my way completely as well. I guess the crossdressing thing gets to me because it is so taboo, at least in my area and my feeling of it. But i think thats partly the reason it turns me on as it does... I came so close to deleting this thread because of guilt and denial but have sucked it up and decided to leave it. Its definitely not an easy thing for me to accept but writing about it gives me some kind of outlet i guess... I have not thrown out my stuff, yet...

[lockedout]

I have a friend who lives in Australia and cross-dresses openly, and he's married with two kids.

I crossdressed (secretly) until I left University, and binned my female clothes, wig, make-up when I left, and I regretted throwing them away. Those lovely fabics. I don't cross dress now, but still fantasise about it.

If I was in a relationship with someone I really cared about (and if not, why am I with them ), I'd be open about it, and if it really wasn't something they wanted, I'd make the sacrifice, and not have the clothes, but I'd hope there'd be lots of other things we'd both like doing together.

So just sharing some experiences so you know you are not alone.

I have the same viewpoint. The woman i am with (we're not married lol) i care about deeply and would leave behind any kinks i have to stay with her. In fact, i would be more than happy not fulfilling these kinks again. But thats not an easy thing to do... Still, the sex with her is amazing, as vanilla as it is. Shes not the kink type. I dont know whether thats an issue yet or not.

[lockedout]

Hi

First of all i want to say i love the webteases. You ppl do a great job and i really enjoy them.

Secondly, Im posting here because i feel i need to. Completely selfishly.

I dont expect anyone to read this let alone care, but maybe i can gain some insightful help. First of all, im 27, live in australia and have kinks that i feel i cannot bring up with anyone in person. I appreciate this website and what it provides and i know that maybe my kinks are not as perverse as some but i need to express myself somehow. For me this seems silly to me. I am an attractive male who likes to crossdress at times. I dont know if its a dom sub thing or that i love the female body so much or im just whack. I dont know how to explain it but i sometimes get the feeling that i want to crossdress. Even wishing my body was more feminine. Im six foot two and would not pass. Which haunts me. But then i get a guilty feeling and dismiss my feelings. Its like im two ppl.

There are many different reasons why men crossdress, ranging from clothing fetishes to full-out crossgender identities (which is me) and many things in between. And sometimes, crossgender identities aren't exactly... clean and binary. I can't tell you who you are, only you can, but when you say "Its like im two ppl" I think of bigender identities (described at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender) - maybe look into that and see if it fits.

Guilt is unfortunate, but not surprising. We live in a society that expects a clean division between male and female, that looks down on anything breaking that division as perverted and deviant, and when one grows up in that kind of environment it's hard not to internalize the hate. It's getting a little better in some places, but not everywhere :/

I have a "bag" which contains some xdressing stuff.. Which i am pushing myself to throw out next bin day... I dont know if running is the solution however.

I've known many people who've tried that approach, but I've never seen it work out over the long run.

I think the crossdressing identity seems to fit most. Its like i pretend to be someone else to escape the pressures of reality.

[lockedout]

I feel like I am in a similar situation.

I am (in my opinion) an attractive 23 year old man. I work out, love sports, beer, whiskey, and women. However, I have been developing more and more kinks. First, it was anal toys, then giving myself facials, now panties. I know that I love women and am extremely attracted to them. I sometimes wonder what is going on with me though because of all my kinks. I worry that my girlfriend won't fully accept all of them. As I said I am very straight, but sometimes I have strange thoughts.

I like clothes, and dressing well. I like to tan and kind of like women's clothes too. I always wish I was as sexy as a woman. I wish that girls checked me out like guys do to hot girls. I just want to feel sexy sometimes. However, I do like giving oral to my dildo and vibrator, but I know I wouldn't ever perform it on a real person, but the idea is kind of exciting. I guess it came from doing teases where I had to suck a butt plug or dildo and the idea is kind of hot to me. But these fantasies or whatever they are also bother me a great deal.

I hate myself sometimes because of my kinks and don't know what to think about myself because of them.

Now I know this doesn't totally have to do with crossdressing, etc. but I feel your pain when it comes to trying to figure out your kinks and what they mean. I agree that you should not throw away your things, but if you want to stop you can. I have stopped my kinks before because I was not sure how I felt about them or myself anymore. Sorry I rambled about my issues too. I feel like you're in a similar state. Hope this helps.

When all else fails, do what makes you happy.

I feel like we have a fair bit in common. I am a massive sports lover. Also love beer and whiskey etc. a guys guy a lot of the time. We share some kinks too. I like most of what you stated. Definitely not gay though, as you said. Which confuses me as to some of the things i fantisize about. Id take a strap on but not the real thing... With myself i think its the opposite. Though i really have no clue. I believe i love the female body so much that i want to be exposed to it as often as i can. I find that i crossdress when im not getting laid as often. If i am sleeping with my gf every day, then i dont feel the need to.