Some Quickies

[zandro]

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."


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I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut,you 'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I 'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said. "Come on, what day was I born"? I said, “Yesterday."


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There are two words that a girl can say to me that I hate, Don’t and Stop.... But when she puts them together.... Don’t Stop, I’m happy!


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Doctor", the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

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