The Matchmaker and others

[zandro]

In a small Irish village, as was the ancient custom, a matchmaker was often employed to arrange marriages. One sunny day the village matchmaker approached one of the more attractive single woman in the marketplace and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed to bring this up," he said, "but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample." The woman was shocked. "Such a thing you ask me, a virtuous woman? What kind of a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman. " The matchmaker, trying to earn his fee, explained, "No Mr. O'Brien is a business man. He buys goods in the market and he sells goods. To him, it's not a big deal... just a sample." The woman thought for a moment, now that she knew the man in question was quite wealthy and would be a good catch. "He's a business man? So tell him I don't give samples. If he's a business man and still interested, I can give him 10 or 12 references.


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A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the packet. Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."


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The father fondly patted his daughter's hand and told her, "Your young man told me today he wanted you for his bride, and I gave him my consent." "Oh, Dad," gushed his daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving mother." "I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed the old man, quite satisfied with his solution to the problem. "Why don't you just take her with you?"

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