Chat and Forum PM Etiquette 101

[PrincessIris]

Frequently when I am in the chatroom, there is an annoying occurance, which also carries over to PMs (though I've not received any unsolicited ones... yet).

A guy comes into the chatroom, and sees that the chatters all have male names, except for me. It plays out something like this:

Gabber69 has entered the room
Gabber69: hey iris do u want 2 play

or sometimes, like this:

Gabber69 has entered the room
Gabber69: hey iris wat is ur yahoo

or on rare occasions, like this:

Gabber69 has entered the room
Gabber69 is now ALittleMorePolite
ALittleMorePolite: Hello, Princess. Would you care to play with me?

Typically, I just ignore them, tell them to do The All Day Tease, or just say no. But sometimes, I wonder if they even understand why they aren't succeeding.

I'd like to explain it with this:

You walk into a bar. Let's say it's a BDSM bar, so you know the people in there are probably of similar interest. It's a slow point, maybe it's not quite night time yet, and there are only a few guys. You see one woman sitting at the bar, sipping her drink and chatting with some of the patrons. You stroll straight from the doorway up to her, ignoring the others in the bar, and the first thing you ask her is "hello, my Mistress, please give me your phone number", or maybe even "hello, my Mistress, please dominate me".

What's wrong with this picture? If you can't tell.... well, I don't really know what to say. In this situation, she'd probably not even give the polite "No" that I give, and simply declare "who the fuck are you?!". The bouncers might even remove you.

The ones this post is directed at probably won't even read it, but I had to say it.

[whacker44]

i am very sympathetic to the the Princess (of course0).but i wish i could figure out how to use the chat properly..i find it very confusing..ok so i am thinking with the wrong head !!

[PrincessIris]

i am very sympathetic to the the Princess (of course0).but i wish i could figure out how to use the chat properly..i find it very confusing..ok so i am thinking with the wrong head !!

go into chat... enter a name... and, type stuff?

if you mean "where is the pming, where is the voice chat, where is the filesending..." gabbly doesn't have any of those things, it doesn't even let the room have an administrator. it's just a text chat room

[Crocko]

I avoid chatting and PMs exactly for this reason. If you need a Princess, or whatever, take the time to at least get to know the girl. If you can't even do that- just pay for it online. The girls here don't get paid, they do it for fun.

[Damon]

I've been waiting for a topic like this to come up for a while now. Being a regular in chat, I see all too often, guys coming in the room, and immediately trying to get the lady (or ladies) in the room to tease them, control them, or otherwise engage them. Frankly, it's embarassing, to see guys acting in this fashion. It would be nice to see more common courtesy. Yes, it's a site dedicated to teasing and denial. Yes, it's a site where the common role is the female in control. That being said, don't come in the room, and assume because you're there, they just want to drop everything and tease you. Common ettiquette might include (for those that aren't already aware):

1.) Don't enter the room and immediately leave. It's rude.
2.) When you enter the room, if you don't already have one, choose a username. That way, we know what to call you.
3.) Say hello. This is just courteous.
4.) As stated above, don't just assume that the ladies want to tease you. Introduce yourself, let them get to know you. It's polite, and makes them feel like they are a welcome addition to the site, not just a tool for your own pleasure.

These aren't rules. You don't have to follow them. However, for those of you out there, wondering why you're not getting good responses from the women on the site, you might consider this a helpful guideline. Very few women enjoy disrespectful company.

[texturedshroom]

I would find this annoying too if I were a Domme. Remember: just because the imaginary girls on the webteases want to tease you, doesn't mean every woman you come across does!

[toybdsm]

I agree that proper behavior is important. I understand why the ladies often feel hassled.

But more a concern for me is those that pose to be one thing when they really are something else, Or those that have 2 or 3 or more ID's on here. & I don't mean not a "real" domme. We are all always learning. But we all know there are plenty of those who say they are a woman when they are not. I have even seen someone talk to themselves because 1 of the persona's submits to the other. Lets face it. There is lots of unknowns in this community. I am just glad so much of it is as wonderful as it is.

The ones this post is directed at probably won't even read it, (or maybe will) but I had to say it.

[PrincessIris]

words

Stop importing drama into my thread. I know who you are talking about, and I happen to think they've done no wrong. This is not at all related to the thread in the least, and I'd greatly appreciate you editing your post before another unrelated thread is lost to that argument.

[neo36]

Maybe add to this etiquette be nice to people and use minimal courtesy.

I see too many people being rude or ignoring others, honestly it doesn't make chat a fun experience, problem I've noticed a lot is that some people have a hard time accepting a different point of view from theirs. Unfortunately I witnessed a bad example of this lately and it really looked sad from the outside.

To take your example of talking to an unknown female in a bar, if I come to her and politely say hello my name is Neo how are you tonight? and that person would not even look at me or say hello or even say I don't want to talk to you that in my book is considered as rude as the guys coming up to the girl like you stated in your example.

And just like Whacker I often feel uncomfortable in the chat room and don't know how to talk to people because there seems to be too much tension.

Come on people a chat room is made to chat and communicate between us, exchange ideas and have fun, let's act in a mature way and just have fun without judging people.

Anyway I needed to say this too because all I want is to see people have a good time chatting and leave the "bitchinness" outside the room it has no place in there, but that is only my humble opinion.

Neo

[Jaberwocky]

1) If you enter a room, don't expect that a woman who does not know you, is interested in teasing you.
2) If a princess or miss who does not know you starts to tease you, rule 1 is probably still in applied