Life half out of the humiliation closet.

[BlackmailedBitch]

Ok im not perfect but i am at least hoping for some advice or ideas here. I have been into fetish for many years i simply cant help myself the more humiliating the better, i currently have a girlfriend who hasnt got anything to do with this world she thinks im pure power and strenght. For most of life this is true but for years i was texting a phonesex mistress who was feeding my addiction through sending verbal abuse and tasks such as wear a plastic bag a full body diaper then eat it only after i had spent an hour with the bag tied around me and give myself an enema using my own piss and then drink the cocktail by throwing my legs over and shitting it out over my face open mouthed. She never let me squirt my load except onto shit or dog food so even though i actually dont like shit or scat i would do it just for the verbal humiliation. These days i mrely wear panties or do anal when she is out and have no mistress or humiliation text. i guess you could say ive lost alot but i cant shake my desire and its killing me. I want to get back in the game but discreetly and include blackmail and or findom the problem their being im skint but surely every little helps anyway ill be posting here whenever i do a fun crazy task for you guys to advise or jugde me but remember opinions are prime this is no debate team i accept all critiscm even if i dont like it just like my tasks ;)

[SexualChoc]

as long as you are having fun..

one note drinking your own piss IS safe... feces/shit is not safe to consume, even your own.

[BlackmailedBitch]

Yeah thanks for the note i do understand the risks involved but im compfortable with my choices ill do anything to get the humiliation verbally or just to make a girl laugh at me. But thankyou i appreciate your concern :)

[BlackmailedBitch]

had a sickly sweet day a little condom with piss and precum in and down the hatch also a tampon buttplug sucked clean thanks princess you shitty loser is thankyou for this experience hope we play again sometime :)

[Lindsey]

What is your goal?
-To introduce your girlfriend to this side of you?
-To explore these things outside of your relationship, without her knowing about it?
-To move away from desires like this?

You should be honest with yourself about this and be honest about the pros and cons of each of those decisions.

-L

[BlackmailedBitch]

Well thats a really hard question in many ways i would love my girlfriend to be apart of it though she is far from ready or willing to try. Its been part of previous discussions but doesnt over a year appear to have fallen on anything but death ears.

In many things such as a true desire for blackmail it would be hard to get the same level of fear and intrigue from my girlfriend doing it as their is truly less at stake and i am reassured that she wouldnt actually wouldnt fullfill the consequences part if i screwed up so thats a bit of a must do externally. As far as the pee and poo goes also a no go in our relationship same as nappies for humiliation and ball kicking. Overall a great deal of things have to be fulfilled elsewhere with a risk.

Also i never have had any intention of dropping any fetish if anything i want to sink further no matter how that works out im only 25 and need some life living experiences that i enjoy for a change instead of putting everyone elses needs before mine which ive been doing from 16 years old. I love my girlfriend but i want some me time for a change. I hope this makes sense and doesnt sound too off.

[CruelNatalie]

I just posted something here:

http://www.orgasmdenial.com/forums/show ... ostcount=3

Personally I find humiliation very sexual and it ranks as my number one kink, however its really hard for someone who isn't into it to wrap their head around it. You need to clearly understand this for yourself first before trying to get her involved. Is this a passing part time thing or actual part of your sexual identity? You damn sure better be careful what you wish for and try not to allow your little head to control your big head.

[BlackmailedBitch]

Thankyou for the insight, I must regretibly anseer clearly that it is part of personality in full due to long standing dominance in my life i find it necessary for humiliation to take placr by strong female presance to level out my personality. This may be hard for many to understand i however am fully confidant that i need it on a reguler basis both to serve and be humiliated is deep seeded in my personality, that happening by blackmail is simply the easiest way to increase what level of humiliation i can take and makes me easy to control, ultimately what i wish for.

In most ways i do want my girlfriend to be that person though i understand that may not be possible, as such i am willing to try anything. I hope this shows my sincerety and all in all i must say i am always carefull what i wish for and have spent a great deal of time wishing for these things :)

[jackstock]

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?v ... 1120761544
Humiliation

[CruelNatalie]

Thankyou for the insight, I must regretibly anseer clearly that it is part of personality in full due to long standing dominance in my life i find it necessary for humiliation to take placr by strong female presance to level out my personality. This may be hard for many to understand i however am fully confidant that i need it on a reguler basis both to serve and be humiliated is deep seeded in my personality, that happening by blackmail is simply the easiest way to increase what level of humiliation i can take and makes me easy to control, ultimately what i wish for.

You're not a lone. In fact most of my slaves and the guys I talk to on the phone are highly driven and successful men. This type of sexual counterbalance is very popular. I do understand the allure of blackmail and how it could be the epitome of losing control but I also know that in most cases it just isn't real or even close. But I still go by what I originally said is that it should be carefully considered and more of a mind game then actually doing it.

[xPrincessElliex]

Well written. Have you talked to your Gf about this?

[BlackmailedBitch]

Well she has a rough idea but sh is simply oblivious to the vast majority of things that go on not only in fetish but in my life, as a result i try not to involve her as the last few conversations we had ended with i dont care what you do as long as i dont have to hear about it. It kinda means i do what i want as long as i time it carefully, i understand it sounds like cheating putting it like that but it really isnt im perfectly capable of removing sexual intercourse from any form of play it makes it simple and im not confused about what i want its more like getting my fixes. It also has no effect on my normal life with her so that makes it a little better to be fair. In truth having any more discussions about fetish with her is just not going to happen it makes me feel like im not getting what i need and makes her feel like she cant satisfy, this way it works and we get on like a house on fire and she knows i do things when she isnt around as long as its not actual sex she is fine with it :)