"Bullshit," thinks the man and walks in. "So you say you have every flavor ice cream in the world?" "O.K., I would like three scoops of cunt flavored ice cream please."
"No problem sir." The assistant gives the man three scoops of ice cream in a cone and the man takes a good lick.
Grimacing, he says, "This doesn't taste like cunt, it tastes like shit!" The assistant replies,
"Of course it tastes like shit when you take such long licks!"
******************
A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "No...how old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.
She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."
He says, "How could you tell?"
She says, "I heard you tell your father."
***********************
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class.
She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"
The teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big long one to brush the baby-sitters teeth."
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second one really got me